What the 5 types of parenting styles are as well as the benefits and pitfalls of each. What kind of parenting style do you follow?
Parenting is so hard. I wish it came with a manual, don’t you?
One thing I know for sure is that I do not want to raise my kids how I was raised. I was raised with a lot of yelling, spanking (beating) , and a ton of isolation. After researching parenting styles, I realize that the way I was brought up is called the Authoritarian Style.
I do not want to raise my children with that parenting style, and after reading countless articles, studies and taking a few positive parenting courses, I’ve decided that for my family, I am focusing on using the Authoritative Parenting Style.
But the problem with all of these parenting styles is that many parents do not fit into just 1 style. For many of us, parenting with love and kindness is something to strive for but sometimes permissive parenting or authoritarian parenting does get the best of us, I know it gets the best of me.
The best thing to do is learn about these parenting styles and strive to do your best to parent the way you want to. It’s ok to not fit into one type of parenting.
What Is A Parenting Style?
Being a parent means finding your own way within your parenting journey and figuring out how you want to raise your kids.
There are so many different ways of raising your children and out of the 4 different parenting styles there is quite a bit of overlap between the beliefs.
The parenting styles that are frequently employed in psychology today are based on the work of developmental psychologist diana baumrind, who behaviour research in the 1960s. In the 1980s, Maccoby and Martin also helped by improving the model.
Let’s explore the different parenting styles together and see if we can figure out which parenting style you use at home.
Baumrind noted that preschoolers displayed diverse forms of behavior. Each type of behavior was strongly associated with a certain form of parenting.
According to Baumrind’s thesis, there is a close link between the type of parenting style and the behavior of children. Varying parenting methods can result in different levels of child development and results.
Baumrind first defined three parenting types based on considerable observation, interviews, and analyses: authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, and permissive parenting.
Although Diana Baumrind is well-known for her work on classifying parenting styles, it was Maccoby and Martin (1983) that developed this three-parenting styles model using a two-dimensional framework.
They divided Baumrind’s permissive parenting style into two categories: permissive parenting (also known as indulgent parenting) and negligent parenting (also known as uninvolved parenting style).
These four parenting styles are sometimes known as the Baumrind or Maccoby and Martin parenting styles.
Definition of Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Children’s Behavior
Parental styles are classified into two categories based on two characteristics of parenting behavior and styles:
The extent to which parents regulate their children’s behavior or require their maturity is referred to as demandingness.
The degree to which parents accept and are attentive to their children’s emotional and developmental needs is referred to as responsiveness.
Five Types of Parenting
- authoritative parenting style
- authoritarian (or Disciplinarian)
- permissive (or Indulgent)
- neglectful (or Uninvolved)
- attachment parenting
Authoritarian parents exhibit both high levels of parental control and low levels of response.
Although authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles have similar titles, they differ significantly in terms of parenting ideology, demand, and method.
While both parenting styles require high standards, authoritarian parents expect unquestioning compliance with justifications such as “because I said so.”
They only permit one-way communication via rules and instructions. Any attempt to reason with them is interpreted as backtalk.
To manage their children’s behavior, some parents utilize strict rules and harsh discipline, such as physical punishment.
Their disciplinary techniques are coercive, that is, arbitrary, peremptory, and dominating, and they are focused on identifying status distinctions. This is often a cause of low self-esteem and there is usually a low chance of positive outcomes.
Authoritarian parents are inattentive to their children’s needs and are not nurturing in general. They generally rationalize their harsh treatment of their children as tough love.
Children of authoritarian parents parents are more likely to:
- Have a pessimistic outlook.
- Be less self-sufficient
- Make an insecure appearance.
- Have low self-esteem.
- Show additional behavioral issues
- Academically, you’re doing worse.
- Have a lack of social skills.
- Be more vulnerable to mental health concerns
- Be more prone to experience substance abuse issues
- Have poor coping abilities
Permissive parents have few norms and limits and are hesitant to enforce them.
These indulgent parents are loving and indulgent, yet they hate saying no or disappointing their children.
The children of permissive parents have the least healthiest outcomes:
- Can’t stick to the rules.
- Have a lack of self-control.
- You have egotistical inclinations.
- More issues arise in partnerships and social interactions.
Because this sort of parent usually keeps out of the way, children are allowed a lot of independence. They meet the child’s basic requirements while remaining mostly uninvolved in their child’s life. An uninvolved parent does not use a specific discipline method and communicates with their child seldom. They provide little to no nurturing to their children and have little or no expectations of them.
Children raised by uninvolved parents are typically resilient and may even be more self-sufficient than children raised in other ways. These abilities, on the other hand, are acquired as a result of need. They may also struggle to manage their emotions, have ineffective coping techniques, face scholastic difficulties, and have difficulty sustaining or cultivating social connections.
Children of negligent parents:
- May struggle with managing emotions
- Have difficulties with social relationships
Authoritarian parents have high expectations for their children’s accomplishments and maturity, yet they are also kind and sensitive. This is the best parenting style in my opinion.
These parents establish norms and maintain limits via open conversation, advice, and logic. The parents are often the role models instead of authority figures such as in the authoritarian style which helps create a strong parent-child relationship.
These parents explain and justify their actions to their children. Explanations provide children’s with a sense of awareness while also teaching them about values, morality, and objectives.
Their disciplinary tactics are confrontational, that is, reasoned, negotiable, outcome-oriented, and concerned with behavior regulation.
Authoritarian parents are loving and encouraging. They give their children autonomy and promote their independence.
They can also communicate in both directions. This parenting method is often referred to as democratic parenting.
Children with powerful parents are adored.
According to Baumrind’s studies on parenting styles, children of authoritative parents:
- Appear to be satisfied and joyful.
- Are more self-sufficient
- Are more engaged
- Improve your academic performance
- Increase self-esteem
- Interact with peers using competent social skills
- Improve your mental health by reducing sadness, anxiety, suicide attempts, misbehavior, and alcohol and drug usage.
- Demonstrate fewer violent inclinations
- Are firmly attached.
I love the authoritative style as it is basically the positive parenting / or gentle parenting way to parent.
Clinical Significance Of Parenting Styles
According to the National Library of Medicine states that as a kid becomes older, the characteristics of a parent’s upbringing style may show through in their behaviours and deeds.
Other circumstances can influence a child’s behaviour as they grow older, either shaping it or completely changing it (i.e., therapy, culture, job, and social circle).
In terms of health outcomes, it’s critical to figure out which concerns are connected to a patient’s parents’ upbringing style (e.g., the habit of unsupervised eating) and address them at that level.
When it comes to behavioral/psychological intervention, these difficulties become even more essential.
For professionals who care for children, becoming culturally competent as soon as feasible is a huge plus.
The clinician will be able to comprehend the dynamics of the family unit by learning about the family’s history, how rules are made, and disciplinary practises.
Identifying, supervising, or recommending families will be easier once the practitioner is conversant with parental upbringing procedures.
What is My Parenting Style?
It is much easier for parents to figure out their parenting style if both parents practice the same kind of parenting.
That being said, it’s not terrible if children grow up with 2 different parenting styles, as long as they complement one another. This can give children a more comprehensive view of adulthood values.
As long as the parents come together as a united front, it’s perfectly fine to have different parenting styles in one household.
A lot of the time, a children’s temperament determines how a parent will discipline and raise their child.
While it is easy to try to hop onto the “helicopter parents” or the “free-range parenting” bandwagons, you can make yourself fit across the 5 types of parenting styles by using different strategies in the way you parent. Free-range parents are often free spirited and let the universe guide them. They don’t use positive reinforcement or corporal punishment and they don’t set rules in their homes which can lead to behavioral problems later in life.
Self-reflection and talking to other parents can help you figure out which type of parenting style you use.
Here is a helpful video to help you find your parenting style.
Which Parenting Style Is The Most Effective?
Researchers discovered that authoritative parenting is consistently connected to the greatest results in children based on decades of study.
Psychologists and psychiatrists believe that authoritative parenting is the ideal parenting style.
This categorization of child raising methods has been examined in several nations for over 25 years.
The results for each parenting style are typically found to be as predicted.
However, there are still discrepancies and outliers in several regions.
Here are some more elements that may influence a children’s development.
According to certain research, the authoritative approach is not necessarily associated with the highest school success among families of various ethnic (e.g. Asian, Black, Hispanic) and socioeconomic backgrounds (e.g. income level, parental education, number of active parents).
In one study, for example, researchers discovered that African-American kids with authoritarian parents but little peer support did not fare well academically.
In several studies showed Asian-American kids did best in school when they had authoritarian parents and peer support.
A research in Spain found that both indulgent and authoritarian parenting styles were connected with positive results.
A child’s temperament can influence both the parent’s decision and the outcome.
For example, children with a more sensitive temperament could be viewed as challenging, prompting parents to adopt a more authoritarian parenting style.
A research also discovered that several aspects of kid behavior, such as friendly and aggressive tendencies, are more connected to the children’s temperament than to their parents’ parenting style.
It appears that parenting style is not the only determinant of a children’s results.
Differences in social environment and child temperament might also play a role.
However, despite being extensively reported, not all of these study outcomes have been successfully replicated by other researchers.
Furthermore, these findings do not hold true for other sorts of outcomes, such as behavior or mental health.
For example, although some research indicated that authoritarian parenting was connected with the highest academic achievements in the Chinese American community, others found that authoritative parenting was the strongest predictor of school performance.
To far, no research has convincingly refuted the benefits of authoritative parenting, while several others have repeatedly demonstrated its benefits.
Experts continue to suggest authoritative parenting as the best parenting approach.
Nature Vs. Nurture
Nature vs. nurture is one of the oldest disputes in psychology. Which is more important?
Recent research behaviored by the Queensland Brain Institute and the VU University of Amsterdam effectively settled the Nature vs Nurture argument. 14.5 million pairs of twins were collected and evaluated from nearly every twin research behaviored in the last 50 years.
Researchers discovered that genetics (nature) and environment have nearly equal impacts on a person’s behavior and character characteristics (nurture).
Parenting is one of the most essential aspects of a children’s surroundings from birth. It has a profound and unmistakable influence on a child.
Parenting Practices vs. Parenting Styles
The contrast between parenting style and parenting practice is another factor that might influence the outcome.
The emotional environment and control with which parents raise their children is referred to as parenting style.
Parenting techniques are particular activities that parents do to parent their children.
Even though parents have the same parenting style, they may opt to use distinct parenting techniques, which may influence the degree of results.
When evaluating study findings, keep in mind that the majority of these parenting studies only identify connections between parenting styles and outcomes.
That is, the findings are simply correlative and not causal.
Parents who are kind and responsive, for example, have children that have less behavioral issues. One can argue that warm and responsive parents result in better-behaving children.
However, you can easily flip it and claim that well-behaved children encourage their parents to be more warm and responsive.
Varied children have different temperaments, which might influence their parents’ behavior.
These studies on parenting do not reveal which is the proper cause-and-effect connection.
So, why do the majority of psychologists and professionals still advocate for an authoritarian parenting style?
One explanation is because there are a plethora of research that regularly reveals these correlations.
Another argument is that there is no evidence that authoritarian parenting styles hurt children.
As a parent, if I were to pick one parenting style based on no scientific evidence, I would think about my parenting objectives and the sort of parent I want to be.
My ultimate parenting aim is to create a healthy, happy, kind, and responsible child who will grow up to love me and our family. I also want to enjoy the experience of becoming a parent.
It’s difficult to believe that being frigid and rigorous (authoritarian), cold and disinterested (neglectful), or warm and indulgent (permissive style) will achieve all of my objectives.
To me, authoritative parenting makes perfect sense.
Parenting Style Quiz
Five Parenting Styles based on the Olson Circumplex Model
The Olson Circumplex Model is used to explain five parenting styles, with results based on a sample of 667 mother-father pairs. Balanced, Uninvolved, Permissive, Strict, and Overbearing are the five parenting styles.
Each parent had the same parenting style in around one-third of the couples. Parenting styles that are balanced seem to have the best relationships, with more family happiness, fewer stress, and better partner and family communication.
Is Your Childhood Holding You Back From Embracing A Parenting Style?
Our parenting styles, including how we treat our children, show affection, encourage them, punish them, and respond to positive and negative behavior, are all influenced by how our parents raised us.
When you become a parent, you’ll attempt to figure out not just what type of parent you want to be, but also what sort of person you want to be for your kids. It’s the greatest moment to grow and improve, to be the best version of yourself you can be for them and for yourself.
You have a choice in how you raise your children. It’s up to you how you want to influence, help, lead, and love your children.
Although motherhood and fatherhood come naturally, and loving your kid is one of the easiest things you’ll ever do, not all aspects of parenthood are. Parenting is influenced by how your parents raised you, whether you like it or not.
As a result, you have two options when it comes to the style of parenting you will practise.
The first is by acting in the same way that your parents did, whether it was for good or bad reasons, instinctively or deliberately.
You raise your children in the same manner that your parents did, with the same mannerisms and positive or poor parenting decisions. You may have had a happy upbringing and desire to emulate your parents’ actions.
This isn’t always the case, though. Others may have had parents that screamed, belittled, were unsupportive, and were manipulative, and these negative patterns will regrettably continue.
You may have had a wonderful upbringing, but even if you mimic 95 percent of your parents’ parenting, the remaining 5% could be something you want to examine. Even with the greatest of intentions and a childhood full of love and nurturing there is always space for growth, and no parent is flawless.
One of the most defining characteristics of humans, particularly parents, is the desire to improve.
The second option is to examine your upbringing and dig deep into how your parents treated you, how they made you feel, what was good and what was awful, and build a guiding light that you and your spouse can use to guide you through your parenting journey.
When you’re having a kid, now is the best time to reflect on your upbringing and the impact your parents had on you.
- Choose to consider how your self-image, self-confidence, body image, attitude, friendship and relationship choices, how you treat others, and confidence in your skills are impacted.
- What did they do that you didn’t like?
- Did their statements reflect how they treated themselves? Did they say the same things about themselves when they told you you were attractive, clever, or strong?
- How did they treat you and how did they communicate with you? What would you keep and what would you alter if you had the chance?
- What was your favorite part of your childhood? Do you remember your childhood as loving and pleasant, or do you remember it differently? What aspects of your childhood do you cherish? What didn’t make you happy about it?
You’ll find wonderful childhood memories as well as parts you don’t want your children to feel or go through once you start answering these questions honestly. This is where you’ll lay the groundwork for becoming a parent.
While criticizing our parents may appear selfish, judgmental, or even unpleasant, we cannot progress as human beings and provide a stronger childhood foundation for our children unless we try to make those discoveries and actively take strides ahead.
The foundation a parent lays for their kid – the voice you give your child that will last a lifetime – is the cornerstone for the person they will be and become. Our responsibility is to lead our children and instil in them the knowledge that they are cherished, loveable, and have a place in the world.
Is that anything you remember from your own childhood?
What kind of image do we want our children to have of themselves, how do we want them to think of themselves, and how do we want them to treat themselves and others? Recognize that your parenting will serve as the basis for all of this.
What If You Picked Up Some Bad Habits From Your Parents
When we’re expecting a child, we say and think a lot of things. We have great plans for how things will be, but those grandiose ideas frequently emerge in unexpected ways.
You must examine your own behavior after you become parents and go through each stage – baby, toddler, preschool, school-aged, teenagers, and adults – to discover how your parents’ parenting influenced you.
In difficult, exhausting, and irritating situations, how do you respond to your children? How do you deal with the stress of parenting or spending extended periods of time alone with your children? How do you deal with your kids? Do the things you say to your children empower, love, and encourage them, or do they degrade them?
When we behave tiny or make someone else feel small, we must go within to figure out why we are doing so. Not our children, nor anybody else.