Being a helicopter parent gets a bad rap, but it’s not all bad, here is why – according to science.
Although helicopter parents have a bad image in the media, studies have found no consistent detrimental effects on children. I believe helicopter parents are good parents, and have lower negative effects on children than parents who use harsh discipline.
Helicopter parents are involved parents, and several studies have indicated that this parenting style can create positive effects in adult children with minimal negative impacts overall.
In today’s society parents are judged no matter which style of parenting they choose. The important thing is that you do what you think is best for your family.
You can practice positive discipline and be a helicopter parent at the same time, and that’s not a bad thing. the most important thing you can do is be confident in your parenting choices!
Discover the benefits and negative effects of being a helicopter mom with good intentions.
What is Helicopter Parenting
The discrepancy stems mostly from the fact that “helicopter parenting” is a poorly defined phrase in psychology.
Unlike the five Baumrind parenting styles there is no widely accepted definition of helicopter parenting. As a result, multiple research employing diverse criteria reached disparate findings on its effects.
Helicopter parents are parents that closely monitor their children’s activities and academics in order to not only protect them from harm and disappointment, but also to assist them in succeeding.
Parents that hover over their children and become too involved in their lives are known as helicopter parents. Meanwhile, the term “helicopter parent” is used in the media to characterise overprotective parents of their children’s lives (Is it really that bad to be protective of our blessings?)
In 1969, a book titled “Between Parent and Teenager” invented the phrase “helicopter parent.” According to the teen in the book, his mother hovered over him like a helicopter.
While yes, it’s definitely better to allow your college students to make their own decisions, being a helicopter parent during toddler years throughout high school is important so that you child can make better decisions for themselves in the real world.
Some sources say that helicopter parenting causes mental health issues, lack of academic success and an overwhelming fear of failure. While that may be true in some cases, every parent makes different parenting decisions, and this form of parenting is still rather new in studies.
Constantly bailing children out of difficult situations can certainly have negative outcomes and mental health problems however helping your child out of a sticky situation while teaching them a valuable lesson can lead to healthy development and a sense of security.
Signs of A Helicopter Parent
Younger children and teens with helicopter parents are more likely to know where their children are at all times, which is a crucial safety factor.
While the phrase “helicopter parent” is typically used in a negative light, it isn’t always a terrible thing. It can be if the child has too much control over a child’s life, but most parents just want to look out for the wellbeing of their children.
Children of helicopter parents are generally punctual, have completed their schoolwork, and are well-prepared for their activities.
Similarly, helicopter parents are hyper-aware of who their children are hanging out with and how they are performing in school.
And, if their child is having difficulty in school or is losing ground, they will do everything they can to help them. When it comes to sickness, bullying, or even mental health challenges, the same is true. Helicopter parents will labour nonstop to ensure that these problems are resolved.
Helicopter parents are also more engaged parents who are the first to volunteer for school events and may even join the PTA at their children’s schools. As a result, the amount of time, energy, and money invested in making the school, the classroom, or the squad the best it can be may benefit schools, teachers, and coaches.
The Effects of Helicopter Parenting
Despite the skewed negative image in the media, a number of studies have revealed both good and bad outcomes related to helicopter parenting. Children of helicopter parents are quite lucky to have such loving and involved parents.
Kids Are Supported
From the millennial age to the present, children are generally aware that their parents are on their side. They grow up with a sense of safety, knowing that they are protected by a framework. Because someone is present to provide a safety net, they may feel more free to fail and explore.
Yes, more young adults than ever before are moving in with their parents and relying on their family for financial assistance. However, they will have more time to grow without the pressures and dangers that past generations have faced.
The brain does not fully grow until our mid- to late-20s, according to current research. Why, given this, aren’t we more receptive of the notion that a 21-year-old college graduate may yet require further time to feel completely launched?
The average age at which individuals marry and have children has risen in recent decades, and many people recognise that being more mature before making these commitments may be beneficial. Similarly, young individuals are waiting longer to enter the employment or buy a house; while economic circumstances play a role, isn’t it possible to argue that delaying these decisions until they’re fully prepared isn’t always the worst thing to do?
The Kids Feel Seen
In her book The Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice Miller discusses how parents who are focused with addressing their own needs first might cause their children to feel invisible. Today’s parenting, on the other hand, is often more concerned with the child’s needs than with the needs of the parents.
While a degree of balance would be desirable, the benefit of this imbalance is that today’s youngsters sense they are totally understood by their parents. Therapy, school testing, career examinations, extracurricular trainings, and other services are provided to these children. While they may be overworked and watched, they also have access to a wealth of information on their personalities, abilities, and interests.
The good news is that this generation of children may not struggle as much or take as long to understand themselves as earlier generations did. Because they aren’t straining to repair old wounds and fighting the ghosts of the past, they may be able to form stronger partnerships and be better parents.
These Kids Do Things they Aren’t So Good At
Yes, our children are overburdened with activities, leaving them with insufficient unstructured play time. But it also encourages them to stick with things they may not have considered on their own, even if they aren’t particularly good at them. Kids used to gravitate toward one pastime—usually something they enjoyed—and stick with it for thirty years. We didn’t try many various sports or arts as a consequence, and as a result, we were less well-rounded.
There are genuine advantages to doing something you’re not very good at. It builds resilience, teaches how to grow low self-esteem, and decreases perfectionism. Being the slowest runner on the sports team week after week necessitates a great deal of perseverance, which may offer youngsters a significant advantage with life skills in the economic world years later.
They Make Better Choices
In terms of the business sector, this generation of kids may find it beneficial to try their hand at a variety of leisure activities before deciding on a career path.
They may have a greater understanding of themselves at an early age than previous generations of teenagers. These children’s parents, who drove them to music lessons, football games, and chess club meetings, had ingrained in them the understanding that they are either strong at organisation or bad at spatial connections.
These details give students an idea of what they can offer potential employers and which industries they should avoid.
These Kids Will Take Care Of their Parents
Finally, there are benefits for both parents and children. We may be establishing a community with an overall feeling of familial togetherness, in addition to having children who like us and want to keep in touch.
Children who have had tight parental relationships frequently wish to stay close as they get older. Perhaps this will diminish the fears we have about an aging society, where seniors become lonely and neglected. Possibly, just perhaps, helicoptered children will one day return the favour and hover over their parents.
In today’s world, there is a lot of worry about how technology produces distance and isolation. We wonder if the younger generations will know how to make conversation or create connections when their heads are buried in their phones.
But we forget that kids are always communicating—not just with their pals, but also with us—on those phones. Through this view, helicopter parenting may be seen as a cure to the digital age’s loneliness, a method to form close, loving ties with our children.
Is Helicopter Parenting Good or Bad
So, why is there such a wide disparity in the findings of helicopter parenting studies?
On the surface, it appears that the quantity or level of a parent’s involvement could be the deciding element in whether such involvement would help their child.
However, it turns out that the disparities between various findings are due to the sort of parental involvement seen by the kid. The Self-determination Theory helps explain this occurrence.
The Self-determination Theory states that there are three essential human psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
When these requirements are satisfied, an individual’s health and well-being improve. They are innately motivated to succeed and capable of growth and development.
Those requirements can be met by a supportive home setting that gives the child autonomous assistance. Autonomy-supportive parents encourage their children to take an active role in addressing their own issues, which leads to competence, or feeling secure in their capacity to interact effectively with their surroundings.
This kind of parenting promotes children’s social and emotional development. A family setting that does not allow for autonomy, on the other hand, cannot satisfy those demands.
Being autonomy supporting does not imply enabling the child to behave whatever they see fit. It indicates that the child views the parent to be non-controlling and that they promote autonomy.
“Helicoptering” can be good if the child perceives it to be supportive rather than controlling. However, if children’s experiences are considered to be restricted, it makes no difference whether the parent is supportive; without autonomy, the kid will not thrive in their growth.
Final Thoughts On Helicopter Parents
I personally do not have a problem with helicopter style of parents. These are loving, caring parents that just want the best for their children. These parents have the best intentions and as you can see there are many positive effects of helicopter parenting that many media outlets don’t talk about.
The most important aspect of parenting is to give your child unconditional love, look out for their physical health, and help out if you see the child struggle!
Don’t ever let the internet make you feel bad for being an attentive parent.