How Parenting Styles Affect Children’s Positive (and Negative) Behavior
What Role Does Parenting Play in Children’s Negative and Positive Behavior? How to analyze your own conduct in order to provide a good example for your children.
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Why Does Parental Behavior Influence Children’s Negative Behavior?
When it comes to kids who don’t listen and parents who are irritated, here’s a truth bomb:
It’s never simply a child’s issue.
Trust me, I know how simple it is (or how much you might want to) to shift blame rather than accept responsibility for your actions, but true change won’t begin until you realize this one crucial reality.
You won’t be able to stop triggering your child if you aren’t aware of your own triggers.
So, what exactly do I mean?
Our personalities can exacerbate power conflicts and bring forth undesirable behaviours in our children.
I’ll be the first to confess that my personality makes it difficult for me to get along with one of my kids and can lead to tense situations.
It makes things 10x worse when I want things my way and doesn’t pause to listen to what is actually going on. Like really listen and try to figure it out before I jump to conclusions. I’m working on it and it’s not perfect.
It’s no surprise that if I’m overly controlling, he’ll push back, and we’ll go from 0 to 100 in no time.
When a child is unable to run, he or she will always fight back.
That’s when power battles, backtalk, tantrums, meltdowns, and everything else that parents despise start.
What Is the Best Way to Figure Out Your Parenting Style?
This article will help you figure out what parenting style you have and how to modify your approach to get your kids to cooperate and respect you more.
You may start finding out what your triggers are that cause you to get irritated, lose your patience, or even shout after you understand how your parenting style impacts your connection with your children.
Everyday events are some of the most prevalent causes of parental dissatisfaction.
While triggers may appear small in the great scheme of things, they tend to get under your skin more readily when they occur on a daily basis.
Everyday Triggers include:
- You’re always 15 minutes late in the morning.
- After you’ve already cooked breakfast, lunch, and are about to start supper, you’re asking for a snack 30 times during the day.
- You have to say it 20 times before your kids put their shoes in the shoe bin.
- When your children argue over little matters such as who gets to eat first at breakfast or who gets to sit next to you as you read a book to them.
- When you come in the door and can’t see the floor because it’s covered in toys, sofa cushions, and shattered cheerios, your entire existence feels like a disaster.
- After a long day of loud noise and rough housing, your patience is already wearing thin.
- When your child asks for one more book, more drink, or another hug after you’ve closed their door and are in the home stretch to have some alone time.
What Causes Your Triggers
No matter how irritating our children’s conduct is, it is not the source of our irritated reactions to them.
As simple as it is to blame their actions for your reaction, this is merely the beginning.
A whole other feeling lies behind that trigger — it’s the source of your disappointments, impatience, or rage.
If your child’s conduct is going to drive you over the brink or bounce off your tyres, the environment and how you feel have a huge impact.
With all that has happened in the last six months, things are certainly out of the ordinary, but we must remember that a child may be an expert at pressing your buttons, but he does not create your reaction.
The ROOT of your Trigger is what drives your reaction… These are the actual sentiments and emotions that lie under the surface and that you must uncover in order to comprehend why your buttons are pressed in the first place.
The following are the most prevalent triggers:
How you’re feeling on the inside — frustrated, irritated, exhausted, overworked, underappreciated, and so on.
How is your day going? Is it difficult, stressful, you’re sick, the kids are sick, you’ve received some terrible news, you’re late, you don’t have any alone time, etc.?
How your house makes you feel – it’s cluttered and you’re anxious, you have a lot of tasks to complete, there’s a lot to do.
What’s Going on Inside Defines Parenting Behavior
It’s all about YOU and what’s happening on INSIDE when it comes to the core.
You are triggered by your feelings, perceptions of the circumstance, and how you believe something is happening or affecting you.
Figure out how your personality and parenting style affects your relationship with your children and, as a result, their behaviour throughout the following week. Then you’ll be able to identify places where you can improve.
Also, start keeping track of the instances when your kids irritate you or cause you to respond in an unfavourable way… What was going on at the time, how did you feel, and what was driving your actions?
Make a few notes to help you figure out what’s going on. You may test out remedies to triggers once you’ve found your triggers and the source of the problem so they don’t resurface.
More Discipline Tips
- How To Teach Lessons Through Discipline Instead Of Shame
- Mistakes You May Be Making When Responding To Tantrums
- 5 Powerful Responses For Backtalk
- How You May Accidentally Be Raising Ungrateful Children (And how To Fix That)
- What Is Positive Discipline: 6 Simple Techniques To Use At Home
- Setting Consequences For Kids Who Do Not Care About Consequences
- Is Positive Parenting Solutions Parenting Course Worth It? (Yes…But Why?)
- Natural Consequences You Should Allow Your Children To Experience
- 8 Easy Ways To Battle The “I Can’t Do It” Attitude
- Tips For Parenting An Angry Child
What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe To My Parenting NewsletterSign Up For My Parenting Newsletter for tips on creating a happier home and becoming a more positive parent. As a bonus when you subscribe you’ll get a copy of my FREE Growth Mindset Printout For Kids which is the KEY to raising resilient kids with a growth mindset.
2. Register For A Pretty Awesome FREE 60-Minute Class:Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.
3. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting CourseEnroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)