How to deal with hating being a parent, because the most important thing in raising kids is being able to regulate your own emotions.
Being a parent can feel like being locked in a perpetual game of chess. You constantly have to monitor your kid’s moves, think several steps ahead, and be prepared for anything.
That sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? It is! Parenting can be draining and you may hate it at times. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a parent. In fact, hating parenting isn’t uncommon.
Many parents despise the experience and some even go as far as to regret having kids. So if you also hate being a parent right now but know in your heart that being a parent is right for you, keep on reading…
This article will help you understand what makes being a parent so challenging and why many people hate it so much.
Understanding why can help ease the transition into parenthood and make it more enjoyable overall.
Parenting is An Important Role
Being a parent is a big deal. It’s one of the most important roles in life that also comes with a lot of responsibility.
You’ll be caring for a little person who is completely dependent on you for their survival. You’ll be guiding them through life, teaching them how to be a functioning human being, and showing them how to navigate their world.
As a parent, you’ll also be expected to set a good example for your child. They’ll look to you for guidance and learn how to be a good person by watching what you do. Being a parent is both rewarding and challenging. While it’s a beautiful thing to bring new life into the world, it can also be extremely scary and overwhelming. You need to be a good parent, and forget about your old life while fully functioning on a lack of sleep.
Parenting is a daunting task that can feel like a roller coaster of emotions. It can also be very isolating, especially if you have an infant and are struggling to cope with parenthood.
Reasons Why Many Feel They Hate Being A Parent
There is no “off” switch
Babies don’t turn off when you want them to, and neither do toddlers or school-aged kids. Parenting can feel like being on call 24/7. Making time for yourself and your partner can feel like a luxury, not a regular occurrence.
And you likely won’t get much sleep in the early days/weeks/months of parenthood, because newborns and small babies don’t sleep “regular” hours. You can find yourself going days without much sleep and feeling like you’re just surviving each day. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm. Just remember there is no such thing as perfect parents.
Parenting is emotionally challenging
Newborns cry. A lot. If you have a baby, you’re familiar with these cries. They sound like a wounded animal and they can go on for hours at a time.
They can make you feel helpless, frustrated, and like you’re going crazy as a new mom. When your kid is crying, you feel like you should be able to do something to make them stop.
But what can you do? Especially if you do not have supportive families, this stage can seem like it goes on forever and you can start feeling like a bad mother because your baby cries all the time.
You can’t stop the crying. You can’t make the hurt go away. All you can do is sit there and wait for it to end. At times like these, feelings of inadequacy can easily set in and feelings of frustration and anger can boil over. This is why having a healthy relationship with a partner or spouse can really help you in these situations.
Parenting can be extremely isolating
If you have a new baby, you may not have the energy to even leave the house. If you have an older kid, you may barely have a free moment to catch your breath let alone make plans with friends.
If you have both a baby and a toddler, all you may want to do is stay inside and hide from the world. If you have an infant and a school-aged kid, you may love your child but feel completely overwhelmed and that you have no time for yourself.
Parenting Without Family Support
If you don’t have family support, you may find parenting even more challenging.
Many parents rely on their family members to help out with child care or even financially during hard times. Sometimes, there may be no choice but to rely on family because you don’t have the support of a partner either.
If you don’t have family support, you may feel overwhelmed by the constant demands of parenting.
In this situation, you might find that you really hate being a parent. It’s important to remember that your situation is temporary, so try not to let it get to you.
You can always talk to a social worker or counsellor. They can help you find support and resources that may be available to you.
Parenting With Negative Emotions
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or frustrated with your child every now and then.
But if you feel constantly negative towards your child, you may want to consider taking a break or even giving parenting up completely. If you’re feeling constantly stressed, resentful, or angry towards your child, you need to make a change, even if you feel you have less freedom and less money.
Parenting is a challenge, but it’s important not to let negative emotions affect your relationship with your child. It can be helpful to reach out for professional help from a counsellor or support group.
They can help you understand what’s going on and give you strategies to deal with your emotions more effectively.
Parenting With An Empty Bank Account
Having a child is an expensive venture whether you planned the child or have an unplanned child. You can expect to spend lots of money on childcare, clothing, toys, and even daycare for your pets.
And that doesn’t even include the cost of housing or food! It doesn’t make you a bad parent or a bad mom if you’re parenting with a smaller bank account by the way. Sometimes it’s a good thing for kids to grow up without all the video games and newest technology at their fingertips.
There are lots of expenses associated with raising a child, so it can be stressful if you don’t have the financial resources to support your family. If you’re struggling financially and resent your child for the extra cost they bring, you may find that you’re really hating being a parent.
It may seem unfair, but it’s important to remember that you chose to become a parent and your child did nothing to cause this. You should get assistance from the government if you’re struggling financially and have a child.
Depending on your situation, you could qualify for assistance with child care or financial support.
Parenting At A Young Age
It may seem like common sense that parenting is easier if you’re older, but is it really? If you’re too young to have a child, you may feel like you can’t do it alone. It may be tempting to give up and resent your child for being too much for you to handle.
But it’s important to remember that you chose to have this child, so don’t give up now! You can find support in various ways if you’re too young to have a child. You can talk to a counsellor, join a support group, or even reach out to a government agency.
They can help you find the resources you need to make it all work. You may not love parenting right now, but it gets easier. As your child grows and matures, you’ll get into a rhythm and find your groove. And who knows? You may even start to love it one day.
There are many challenges that come with being a parent. It can be stressful and challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Remember, you chose to become a parent and your child didn’t ask to be born.
They depend on you to survive, so don’t resent them for it.
How To Deal With Hating Being A Parent
While all of these challenges can be incredibly challenging, making time for self-care is key to surviving parenthood. Find ways to care for yourself so you can keep your sanity.
Here are a few suggestions to help you parent when you hate it.
Take care of yourself before you’re pregnant
If you’re pregnant and feeling stressed about becoming a parent, take a step back and consider ways you can make the shift easier. Do you have enough support? Do you have other people in your life you can talk to/share your feelings with?
How can you care for yourself during this transition? What things do you need to stay healthy and happy? If you’re pregnant, you’re already busy growing a little life inside you. This means there’s even less time in the day for you to take care of your needs.
Try to take care of yourself as much as possible before you were pregnant. This way, your body will have the best chance at a healthy pregnancy.
Stay connected with your partner
Parenthood is a team sport. You’re not going to make it through this journey alone. You need your partner by your side, with you every step of the way.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or anxious, talk to your partner. If you’re feeling like a failure, talk to your partner. If you’re feeling isolated, talk to your partner.
If you’re feeling like you’re losing your mind, talk to your partner. And if your partner isn’t there for you, find someone who is.
Self-soothe whenever you can
If you have an infant, it’s okay to let them cry sometimes. But during those times when you’re feeling really overwhelmed and stressed, it’s okay to put on some headphones and let yourself decompress. If you have an infant and a toddler, find ways to self-soothe when you can. You can take a bath, meditate, go for a walk, read a book, play a game, etc.
Get outside help when you need it
Sometimes no matter how hard we try, we just can’t do it all. Maybe you’ve had a really challenging day and you feel like you’re drowning.
Maybe you’re dealing with postpartum depression or another mental health issue. Or perhaps you just don’t know where to start when it comes to parenting.
All of these things are normal and okay. If you’re feeling like you’re struggling, it’s okay to ask for help.
Parenting As A Single Parent Who Left An Abuse Relationship
If you’ve left an abusive relationship and are now raising a child on your own, you may find parenting incredibly challenging. You may also find that other parents look down on you because you don’t have a partner and therefore assume you can’t manage.
This may make you feel like you can’t reach out for help or find support from other parents. As a single parent, you’re already doing more than your fair share so it can be easy to start resenting your child for making everything so much harder.
During this process, it’s important to remember that having a child is not a choice. You didn’t choose to become a parent but now that you are, that responsibility belongs to you.
Your child didn’t ask to be born and is completely dependent on you to survive, so it’s best not to resent them for that. Parenthood is a huge commitment, so it’s OK if you don’t have as much time or energy to give your child as other parents do.
Being A Parent is Hard Work
Parenting is a job that can seem endless. You can’t take a break, and you’re always on the clock.
And while there are many things you can do to make the experience easier, you can’t just quit. Your child depends on you for everything, and you have to keep going even when you feel tired, stressed, or frustrated. For many, parenting is a constant source of frustration and stress.
So if you hate being a parent, it’s important to remember that parenting is hard work. Sometimes we have to stay in the job even when we hate it because we have to do what’s best for our child. You can’t quit just because you hate it. You have a job to do and a child who needs you. Parenting is hard, but it’s also wonderful.
You get to love, guide, and learn from a new little human every day. You get to shape their world and who they become. You get to see them blossom and grow into their full potential.
Parenting is a challenging job, but it’s also rewarding. And as hard as it can be, it’s worth every minute.
Being a parent is a beautiful experience, but it can also be incredibly challenging. Challenges can include being sleep-deprived, dealing with various emotions, and feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Being a parent can also be an isolating experience.
It’s important to recognize these challenges, make time for self-care, and stay connected with your partner. Parenting is a hard job, but it’s also rewarding.