If you’re ever in a place where you feel like you’re failing at parenting, you need to know that you aren’t, and find the positives in your efforts.
Are you shouting a lot, worried all the time, so tired but can’t sleep because the kids won’t let you?
Yes, I’ve been there. Heck I am there now.
In these difficult parenting moments, it’s easy to think of yourself as a bad parent. As someone who isn’t doing a good job at raising those children you so badly wanted to have.
But guess what? Your children love your imperfect pancakes, they love your funny silly made up songs, and they love that you pick them up from school when you can.
You are the perfect parent for your child. No one can do a better job than you.
Here is how you can find some positive aspects in your parenting journey, and hopefully help you cheer up and remember that you’re doing great.
Find The Positives
What makes you happy when you reflect on the last year? What are your successes, objectives you’ve met, and decisions you’ve made for the betterment of yourself, your children, your marriage, or your family?
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s all about figuring out what you want to keep doing. These are the things you want to keep trying for, objectives you’d like to reach or complete, even if you haven’t mastered them yet. And please, remember not to compare yourself with other internet parents. Nothing is ever what it seems online.
Here are several examples:
- Instead of utilizing time-out, I started using time-in.
- My husband and I had a monthly date night.
- Most mornings, I greeted my children with a grin.
- Helped with schoolwork but didn’t get in the way.
- Read a lot of books with the kids
- Made more meals at home
- Gave myself permission to relax
None of those are big things on their own, but put it all together and you’ll find you accomplished more than you ever thought.
What Are You Working On?
This appears to be our primary emphasis. I’m sure you can think of a million ways to improve, things you’d want to do differently, and goals you’d like to achieve.
Rather than making a large list of unrealistic goals for yourself, choose one or two areas in which you’d want to “improve” this year. Make a very precise objective for yourself, including any measures you’ll need to take to achieve it.
Here are several examples:
- Every night before going to bed, clean the kitchen counter.
- When your spouse gets home from work, give him a kiss.
- Every night between 5 and 7 p.m., put your phone away.
- One time a month, have a family game night.
- Stop lecturing kids and start listening more
- Try positive affirmations with kids
Embrace Your Journey
Make a list of what you want to preserve and what you want to expand and refer to it frequently. When life gets chaotic and everyone looks a little “off,” check over the lists to see where you might be missing.
Don’t get too wrapped up in the “grows” – especially if you’re under a lot of pressure to meet them!
Prioritize the positives. Find the things that make you, you; the things that make your children happy; the things that make you happy.
These are the things that your children will remember.
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