Parenting Tips
How To Find The Positive In Your Parenting

How To Find The Positive In Your Parenting

You shout excessively.

You’re always worried.

You’re too weary to resist it, yet you want everyone to sleep in their own bed.

When it comes to making adjustments to your parenting, it’s easy to discover areas where you can improve (growth mindset).

However, there are several items that do not require repair.

Your pancakes are lopsided. The funny tunes that can cheer up your children. How you’re always 10 minutes early at the bus stop, just in case.

These are the qualities that make you unique! Your children may never remark or admit that these things matter, but they are the things that make you unique! These are the characteristics that distinguish you from other parents.

It’s what distinguishes you as a unique individual.

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Find The Positives

What makes you happy when you reflect on the last year? What are your successes, objectives you’ve met, and decisions you’ve made for the betterment of yourself, your children, your marriage, or your family?

This isn’t about being flawless. It’s all about figuring out what you want to keep doing. These are the things you want to keep trying for, objectives you’d like to reach or complete, even if you haven’t mastered them yet.

Here are several examples:

  • Instead of utilizing time-out, I started using time-in.
  • My husband and I had a monthly date night.
  • Most mornings, I greeted my children with a grin.
  • Helped with schoolwork but didn’t get in the way.
  • With my child, I read a lot of books.
  • More meals were prepared at home.

What Are You Working On?

This appears to be our primary emphasis. I’m sure you can think of a million ways to improve (growth mindset), things you’d want to do differently, and goals you’d like to achieve.

Rather than making a large list of unrealistic goals for yourself, choose one or two areas in which you’d want to “improve (growth mindset)” this year. Make a very precise objective for yourself, including any measures you’ll need to take to achieve it.

Here are several examples:

  • Every night before going to bed, clean the kitchen counter.
  • When your spouse gets home from work, give him a kiss.
  • Every night between 5 and 7 p.m., put your phone away.
  • One time a month, have a family game night.
  • When I start lecturing my children, I have to stop myself.
  • Every day, say something good about each child.

Embrace Your Journey

Make a list of what you want to preserve and what you want to expand and refer to it frequently. When life gets chaotic and everyone looks a little “off,” check over the lists to see where you might be missing.

Don’t get too wrapped up in the “grows” – especially if you’re under a lot of pressure to meet them!

Prioritize the positives. Find the things that make you, you; the things that make your children happy; the things that make you happy.

These are the things that your children will recall.

What You Should Do Next:

1. Subscribe To My Parenting Newsletter

Sign Up For My Parenting Newsletter for tips on creating a happier home and becoming a more positive parent. As a bonus when you subscribe you’ll get a copy of my FREE Growth Mindset Printout For Kids which is the KEY to raising resilient kids with a growth mindset.

2. Register For A Pretty Awesome FREE 60-Minute Class:

Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.

3. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting Course

Enroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
  • Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
  • Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
  • Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
  • Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
  • Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)
Got a threenager? You want this class. Got an actual tween or teen? Then what are you waiting for? Sign up for the webinar right NOW and watch the BEST, most life-changing parenting video ever.

References

  1. 2.Connell A, Bullock BM, Dishion TJ, Shaw D, Wilson M, Gardner F. Family Intervention Effects on Co-occurring Early Childhood Behavioral and Emotional Problems: A Latent Transition Analysis Approach. J Abnorm Child Psychol. Published online May 13, 2008:1211-1225. doi:10.1007/s10802-008-9244-6
  2. 3.Smokowski PR, Bacallao ML, Cotter KL, Evans CBR. The Effects of Positive and Negative Parenting Practices on Adolescent Mental Health Outcomes in a Multicultural Sample of Rural Youth. Child Psychiatry Hum Dev. Published online June 1, 2014:333-345. doi:10.1007/s10578-014-0474-2
  3. 4.Eisenberg N, Zhou Q, Spinrad TL, Valiente C, Fabes RA, Liew J. Relations Among Positive Parenting, Children’s Effortful Control, and Externalizing Problems: A Three-Wave Longitudinal Study. Child Development. Published online September 2005:1055-1071. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2005.00897.x
  4. 5.Neppl TK, Conger RD, Scaramella LV, Ontai LL. Intergenerational continuity in parenting behavior: Mediating pathways and child effects. Developmental Psychology. Published online 2009:1241-1256. doi:10.1037/a0014850
  5. 6.Leidy MS, Guerra NG, Toro RI. Positive parenting, family cohesion, and child social competence among immigrant Latino families. Journal of Family Psychology. Published online 2010:252-260. doi:10.1037/a0019407
  6. 7.Riley AR, Wagner DV, Tudor ME, Zuckerman KE, Freeman KA. A Survey of Parents’ Perceptions and Use of Time-out Compared to Empirical Evidence. Academic Pediatrics. Published online March 2017:168-175. doi:10.1016/j.acap.2016.08.004
  7. 8.Gouveia MJ, Carona C, Canavarro MC, Moreira H. Self-Compassion and Dispositional Mindfulness Are Associated with Parenting Styles and Parenting Stress: the Mediating Role of Mindful Parenting. Mindfulness. Published online March 2, 2016:700-712. doi:10.1007/s12671-016-0507-y