Living & Parenting Without Violence

When most parents learn about my website, the first thing they say is, “We don’t spank our kids.” Violence, on the other hand, has a fairly broad definition. Authoritative parenting is a quite common parenting style and it doesn’t always include spanking or hitting kids. While rocks and stones may shatter our bones, fear, guilt, and humiliation moulds our spirits for years to come, and they are just as terrible.

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It’s difficult to understand since we’ve all been taught to use fear, guilt, and shame as coping mechanisms, and many of us consider them “normal” and even useful. But it isn’t the case. All of the habits we want to alter, as well as disputes and power struggles, alienation, and misunderstanding, are rooted in fear, guilt, and shame.

If we want to live a life of empathy, compassion, connection, and collaboration, these are the first techniques we should eliminate from our lives and parenting.

And this is precisely what I pass along to my readers. I teach them a style of thinking and speaking that encourages everyone around them to listen and collaborate. All things I learned From The Positive Parenting Solutions Parenting Course. 

I show them how to form indestructible ties with their children that will endure a lifetime.

References

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2. 3.Smokowski PR, Bacallao ML, Cotter KL, Evans CBR. The Effects of Positive and Negative Parenting Practices on Adolescent Mental Health Outcomes in a Multicultural Sample of Rural Youth. Child Psychiatry Hum Dev. Published online June 1, 2014:333-345. doi:10.1007/s10578-014-0474-2
3. 4.Eisenberg N, Zhou Q, Spinrad TL, Valiente C, Fabes RA, Liew J. Relations Among Positive Parenting, Children’s Effortful Control, and Externalizing Problems: A Three-Wave Longitudinal Study. Child Development. Published online September 2005:1055-1071. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2005.00897.x
4. 5.Neppl TK, Conger RD, Scaramella LV, Ontai LL. Intergenerational continuity in parenting behavior: Mediating pathways and child effects. Developmental Psychology. Published online 2009:1241-1256. doi:10.1037/a0014850
5. 6.Leidy MS, Guerra NG, Toro RI. Positive parenting, family cohesion, and child social competence among immigrant Latino families. Journal of Family Psychology. Published online 2010:252-260. doi:10.1037/a0019407
6. 7.Riley AR, Wagner DV, Tudor ME, Zuckerman KE, Freeman KA. A Survey of Parents’ Perceptions and Use of Time-out Compared to Empirical Evidence. Academic Pediatrics. Published online March 2017:168-175. doi:10.1016/j.acap.2016.08.004
7. 8.Gouveia MJ, Carona C, Canavarro MC, Moreira H. Self-Compassion and Dispositional Mindfulness Are Associated with Parenting Styles and Parenting Stress: the Mediating Role of Mindful Parenting. Mindfulness. Published online March 2, 2016:700-712. doi:10.1007/s12671-016-0507-y