10 Ways To Stop Losing Your Temper With Your Kids

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This article provides 11 practical strategies for parents to manage their temper and maintain a calm, patient demeanor when interacting with their children.

As a mom of three, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to keep my cool when things get hectic at home. It’s easy to lose my temper when my kids are fighting, when they’re not listening, or when they’re just generally being difficult.

But I’ve learned that losing my temper is not only unproductive, it can also have negative consequences on my kids’ development and well-being.

That’s why I’ve made it a priority to work on managing my temper and maintaining a calm, patient demeanor when interacting with my children. In this article, I will share 11 strategies that have helped me do just that.

Discover The Power Of Deep Breaths

As a mom of three, I know that one of the quickest and most effective ways to calm down in the moment is by taking a deep breath. Deep breathing activates the body’s relaxation response, which helps to regulate our emotions and reduce stress. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or angry, I take a few deep breaths to help me regain my composure.

There are a few techniques that I find particularly helpful when it comes to using deep breathing to calm down. One is the “4-7-8” technique, which involves breathing in for a count of four, holding the breath for a count of seven, and exhaling for a count of eight. I also like to focus on my breath and try to slow it down, paying attention to the sensation of the air moving in and out of my body.

Sometimes it helps to take a few deep breaths in a quiet, peaceful place. But even if I’m in the middle of a tense situation with my kids, I can still take a few deep breaths to help me calm down and respond more thoughtfully. Deep breathing is a simple but powerful tool that I use regularly to manage my emotions as a momma.

Count To 10

As a mom of three, I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing I can do in a tense situation is to take a brief pause before responding. This simple act of counting to ten gives me time to think and respond more thoughtfully, rather than reacting in the heat of the moment. It’s amazing how much difference a few seconds can make!

Counting to ten can be especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed or angry. It gives me a chance to take a deep breath and get some perspective before I say or do something that I might regret. And if I’m still feeling worked up after counting to ten, I’ll try counting to twenty or even thirty. Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of time and space to help me gain some clarity and perspective.

Use “I” statements

Another helpful technique that I’ve found when it comes to communicating with my kids is using “I” statements. Rather than blaming or criticizing them, I try to express my own feelings and needs. This helps to diffuse tension and keep the focus on finding a solution, rather than getting caught up in a power struggle.

For example, instead of saying “You’re being really annoying right now,” I might say “I’m feeling really frustrated because I’m trying to get dinner ready and you’re interrupting me.” This shift in language helps to de-escalate the situation and opens up the possibility for a more productive conversation.

Using “I” statements can be especially helpful when I’m feeling upset or angry. It allows me to take responsibility for my own emotions and communicate my needs in a more effective way. And by modeling this type of healthy communication, I hope to teach my kids how to do the same.

Pre Set Your Boundaries

As a mom of three, I’ve learned that one of the keys to maintaining my patience and avoiding temper flare-ups is setting clear boundaries and limits with my kids. When my kids know what is expected of them, they are more likely to comply and less likely to test my limits. This helps to prevent power struggles and reduces the chances of me losing my temper.

Setting boundaries and limits isn’t always easy, especially when my kids are young and still learning how to behave. But it’s important to be consistent and follow through on my expectations. If I say that they can’t have a snack before dinner, I need to stick to that rule. If I tell them that it’s bedtime, it’s important to follow through and put them to bed at the designated time.

I also try to be clear and specific when setting boundaries and limits. Instead of saying “Don’t be naughty,” I might say “No hitting or biting.” This helps my kids understand exactly what is and is not acceptable behavior.

Enforcing boundaries and limits can be challenging at times, especially when my kids push back. But I try to stay firm and consistent, using positive reinforcement and consequences as needed to help my kids learn and grow.

Take a break

As a busy mom of three, it’s important for me to remember to take care of myself as well. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, it’s easy for my patience to wear thin and my temper to flare up. That’s why it’s so important for me to make time to rest and recharge.

Finding time to take a break can be challenging, especially when I have young kids who need my constant attention. But I’ve learned that it’s essential for my own well-being and for my ability to be a patient, loving mom.

There are a few strategies that I’ve found helpful when it comes to taking a break. One is to enlist the help of my partner or a trusted babysitter so that I can have some time to myself. I also try to make time for activities that help me relax and recharge, such as reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. And when all else fails, I remind myself to take a few deep breaths and try to find a moment of peace and calm in the chaos of motherhood.

Find Support

As a busy mom, I know that parenting can be a tough and isolating job at times. That’s why it’s so important for me to seek support from others, whether it’s my partner, friends, or a community of fellow parents. Sharing my parenting challenges and seeking advice and perspective from others helps me to feel less alone and more equipped to handle the ups and downs of motherhood.

There are a few strategies that I’ve found helpful when it comes to finding support as a parent. One is to join a local parenting group or online community. These groups can be a great source of advice, encouragement, and camaraderie. I also make an effort to reach out to friends and family members when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just in need of some adult conversation. And when I’m really struggling, I don’t hesitate to seek out professional support, such as therapy or counseling.

No matter where I find it, seeking support from others has been an invaluable resource for me as a mom of three. It helps me to feel more connected, less stressed, and better able to cope with the challenges of parenting.

Learning Mindfulness

Another strategy that has been helpful for me in managing my emotions and behaviors as a mom of three is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment, without judgment. It has been shown to have a variety of benefits, including reducing stress, improving emotional well-being, and enhancing self-awareness.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness, but one simple technique is to focus on the breath. I like to take a few deep breaths and pay attention to the sensation of the air moving in and out of my body. I also try to bring my attention to my surroundings, noticing the sights, sounds, and sensations around me. And when my mind starts to wander (which it inevitably does!), I gently bring it back to the present moment.

I find that mindfulness helps me to stay present and grounded, especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed. It’s a simple but powerful tool that I use regularly to manage my emotions and behaviors.

Professional Help Might Be The Key

As a mom of three, I know that it’s normal to get frustrated and angry at times. But if my temper is causing harm to myself or others, or if it’s interfering with my ability to be a loving, patient parent, it may be time to seek professional help.

There are a few signs that may indicate that it’s time to seek help for my temper. If I find myself losing my temper frequently or intensely, or if my anger is causing problems in my relationships or causing me to engage in risky or self-destructive behaviors, it’s important to seek help.

There are a variety of options for seeking professional help for managing my temper. These might include therapy, counseling, or anger management classes. It’s important to find the right fit for my needs and goals.

Be A Role Model

I know that my kids are watching my every move. That’s why it’s so important for me to model self-control and healthy emotional expression for them. When I’m able to manage my own emotions and behaviors, I’m setting a good example for my kids and teaching them how to do the same.

There are a few strategies that I’ve found helpful when it comes to modeling self-control for my kids. One is to practice what I preach. If I’m telling my kids to use their words to express their feelings, I need to do the same. I also try to be aware of my own triggers and take steps to manage my own stress and emotions. And when I do make a mistake and lose my temper, I try to apologize and make amends, showing my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes and that it’s important to take responsibility for our actions.

Modeling self-control and healthy emotional expression for my kids isn’t always easy, but it’s an important part of my role as a parent. By setting a good example and teaching my kids how to manage their emotions, I hope to help them grow into well-adjusted, emotionally healthy adults.

Practice Forgiveness

I know that conflicts and misunderstandings are a natural part of life, and that it’s important to be able to let go of grudges and practice forgiveness. When I hold onto anger and resentment, it can drain my energy and damage my relationships. That’s why I try to practice forgiveness, both towards myself and others.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful or harmful behavior. It’s about letting go of the negative emotions that can weigh us down and choosing to move forward in a positive direction. Forgiveness can be especially challenging when I feel deeply hurt or betrayed, but I’ve found that it’s worth the effort.

There are a few techniques that I’ve found helpful when it comes to practicing forgiveness. One is to try to understand the other person’s perspective. This doesn’t mean that I have to agree with their actions, but it can help me to see things from their point of view and let go of some of my anger. I also try to focus on the good in the person, rather than dwelling on their flaws or mistakes. And when I’m struggling to forgive myself, I try to be gentle and compassionate with myself, reminding myself that we all make mistakes and that it’s okay to learn and grow from them.

Bottom Line

Managing one’s temper as a parent is not always easy, but it’s an important part of being a loving and patient caregiver.

By actively working on managing our emotions and behaviors, we can create a more positive and peaceful home environment for ourselves and our children.

By using the strategies outlined in this article, such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten, using “I” statements, setting boundaries and limits, taking breaks, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, seeking professional help if necessary, modeling self-control, and practicing forgiveness, we can work towards becoming more patient, understanding, and supportive parents.

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