You must change your parenting practises when your children acquire new life norms and lessons during their adolescence.
Even though teens are spending more time away from their families, they still require you to be active and observant.
Parenting with love and approval, as well as a positive attitude, are great approaches to guide your children during the teen years. This book emphasises positive parenting practises such as developing self-esteem, communicating, resolving conflict, and teaching responsibility.
Working On Your Relationship With Your Teen
The amount of time you and your children spend together is one of the most significant shifts in parent-teen interactions.
Your teen comes home much less frequently than in previous years, and when they do come home, they are usually in their rooms.
Not only will your teen appreciate the privacy, but it will also provide them undisturbed time to listen to music, speak with friends, do homework, and so on.
Your teen will also have times when they do not want to be seen with you as they want to assert their independence.
This usually peaks around the age of 14, but it dissipates fast. While teens’ inherent proclivities make it more difficult for you to communicate with them, it is critical that you make time.
How To Use Positive Parenting With Your Teen
- Allow your teen to see your lighter side.
- Avoid giving lectures. Teens often dislike hearing how things used to be or how you believe they should be, and they may tune you out.
- Don’t act as if you know everything. Inquire about your child’s ideas for dealing with circumstances. This demonstrates that you value your teen’s ideas and opinions.
- Keep any critical ideas to yourself. Maintain your focus on the topic at hand.
- Create a shared interest.
- Give your teen some space.
- Compliment your child frequently, and make sure the compliments are sincere.
- Consider your child’s concerns. When your youngster is upset, do not discount his or her concerns.
- Never berate your child. If you object to a behaviour, make it plain that you object to the behaviour, not your child.
- Encourage your youngster to try new things and discover areas of skill. Success in one or more activities will boost your teen’s confidence.
- Avoid making fun of your youngster. Many teenagers are so sensitive that even lighthearted teasing can irritate them.
- Pay close attention while also respecting your teen’s privacy.
- Allow your youngster to speak uninterrupted until he or she gets to the point.
- Respect your child’s viewpoint, even if you don’t agree with it.
- Create a structure. Consider making one dinner a week mandatory for all family members, with no phone calls or visits from friends allowed.
- Take advantage of the opportunity. Catch up with your child whenever possible, however this may necessitate some spontaneity. Being in the car together is almost always a nice opportunity to talk; ordering pizza to share on a quiet night at home is another good way to catch up.
- Allow the penalty to correspond to the offence. Consequences are the most effective lessons for teaching teens, and the severity of the penalty should equal the crime. A 16-year-old who stays out two hours beyond curfew requires a severe consequence that emphasises the gravity of the offence, such as being grounded for two weeks. Not finishing an assignment and receiving a poor grade as a result is an example of a natural consequence that may be the best teacher for some teenagers.
- Carry it out. Believe in the rules you establish, and once they’re in place, be consistent and stick to them. You may definitely expect your youngster to come up with a slew of excuses why you should break the rule.
- Remember the power of compliments. Remember to commend your teen on a job well done.
- Don’t go overboard. Overreacting to acts and attitudes that do not harm anyone, including your child, diverts attention away from what is truly important.
- Make the rules plain. By making the house rules clear to all, your kid will be unable to claim ignorance when breaking one.
- Determine what is causing the conflict. Think beyond the present debate to find the true source of the issue. For example, you might require your 15-year-old to return home by 8 p.m. on summer evenings, while their friends are still out enjoying the sunset. In this scenario, the true problem may be that your child is mature enough for more independence, but you are establishing restrictions that are more appropriate for an 11- or 12-year-old. If you find yourself constantly arguing about the same issues, you may need to reconsider your child’s maturity and if the restrictions you’ve established are suitable.
- Take notice of your child. If your teen’s arguments are more random in character – spontaneous outbursts with no overarching topic – it could be that your child is merely seeking your attention. This can be perplexing since, in order to appear independent, teenagers frequently pretend they don’t need you when, in fact, they need.
- When tempers are blazing, don’t try to settle a fight. During a debate, it is common for no one to agree on a reasonable solution. Instead of yelling, you should both walk away and settle down. Agree to revisit the problem when you’ve both had time to calm down and think about it.