Powerful Habits for Raising Well-Adjusted Children
With so much contradicting parenting advice available, you might be wondering how to raise a well-adjusted child. Before you hide beneath the covers, consider these powerful practices that any parent may do.
I’ve been reading a lot of postings recently regarding “entitled kids.” In fact, you don’t have to look far to find articles criticizing how “lazy,” “narcissistic,” “whiny,” and “downright awful” children are becoming these days.
As a parent, you may feel immobilized by overload, anxiety, and conflicting signals after reading these articles. What is the correct course of action? Where am I making a mistake? Should I give up and open a savings account for my child’s future treatment appointments?
The aspect that worries me the most is that we are so swamped with criticism in modern parenting that it feels safer (and far simpler) to do nothing, to switch on the television, and hide in technology.
Change begins with one parent and one kid. You have a wonderful chance to provide the groundwork that your youngster badly needs but also desires.
Generosity, responsibility, gratitude, warmth, compassion, helpfulness, and a strong work ethic are all built during the early years.
It all begins with us, the parents. Kids are incapable of thinking at the maturity level required to interrupt a behaviour pattern, let alone acting on it. As parents, we must set the example. We are always the basis for well-adjusted children.
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Habits Parents Can Start To RaiseWell Adjusted Kids
- Set Boundaries
- Use and Teach Empathy
- focus On Bedtime
- Play Play Play
- Get Outside
- Create Routines
- Set Screen Time Limits
- Use Hugs As Parenting Tools
- Provide Experiences
- Implement Chores
- Enjoy The Peaceful Moments
- Read Together
- Enjoy Music
Isn’t it a no-brainer? But… It is difficult to create and enforce boundaries for children. This is especially true when children push back, scream incessantly, or threaten with phrases like “I hate you.” Remember that when children act in this manner, it is because they are satisfying their own needs in the only way they know-how. Depending on the boundary, it may take a long time for a kid to accept a parent’s boundary compassionately.
When your child begins to push back or cry less, this is a sign that he or she is coming to terms with the limit. Your kid will bounce and ultimately work to fulfil his or her desire in another method if your boundary is like a wall (rather than a door that confusingly swings open from time to time).
Use and Teach Empathy
What do children truly require in order to be happy and successful? The most surprising response is empathy. It is the ability to “walk in the shoes of another.” According to a new study, empathy has an important role in predicting children’s happiness and achievement.
Though children are built to care, they are not born sympathetic, just as they are not born knowing how to buy a latte at Starbucks (wink). It’s a taught behaviour.
“Empathy fosters compassion, prosocial actions, and moral bravery, and it is a powerful antidote to bullying, violence, prejudice, and racism. It is for this reason that Forbes encourages businesses to embrace empathy and perspective-taking concepts, and the Harvard Business Review has dubbed it one of the “key elements for leadership success and good performance.” — Dr. Michele Borba, a parenting specialist and psychotherapist.
Focus On Bedtime
Sleep is the foundation for healthy brain development. It assists us in processing the events of the day and learning from them. The brains of children are continuously growing and forming new neural connections. They must sleep in order to maintain these relationships.
Kids are going to bed later and having difficulty relaxing before sleep due to kid activities, learning, and continually squeezing in gadget time. Helping your children get enough sleep is one of the most fundamental things you can do to improve their behaviour, health, and well-being.
Play Play Play
Children do not say, ‘I had a difficult day […] Can we talk?’ They ask, ‘Would you want to play with me?'” Lawrence Cohen is an author.
We don’t make many places in our lives for fun and games these days. Our days are packed with stress, commitments, and hard work, and we are more detached from our children than ever before. Play is a child’s work, and in order to connect with our children, we must play with them.
Putting down our phones and realizing that our children require us to play. It may sound stupid, but all of the mindless amusing kitten videos and weird Tasty recipes will be there for years to come; our children will not.
“Active free play, particularly outside, promotes everything from creativity to academic performance to emotional stability. Kids who don’t get to do this might have a variety of challenges, ranging from difficulties with emotional management (for example, they weep at the drop of a hat) to difficulty gripping a pencil, to excessively touching other kids.” — Meryl Davids Landau, Enlightened Parenting author
There is so much in childhood that is novel and difficult for children. Self-control and empathy are being taught. Learning to be a good friend and engage with others. These are all significant events in the lives of children. Even something as basic as these routine visuals can help children feel more grounded and comfortable. In fact, knowing what to anticipate during mealtimes, mornings, and bedtimes may provide even the most freewheeling child with a feeling of comfort.
Do you have a strong-willed child? That is even better. Routines provide children with a sense of control, which is essential for a strong-willed child.
Set Screen Time Limits
“The main principle is that screens should not replace parental and human interaction with a child,” says Dr. Lai. She cautions that excessive screen time is associated with a number of health issues, including depression and obesity, and can also have a negative impact on a child’s sleep. Screen time can also adversely affect brain development in young children. “Children need personal interactions with their caregivers to develop cognitive, language, motor, social and emotional skills,” she says.
Use Hugs As Parenting Tools
Virginia Satir, a well-known family therapist, once said, “We need four hugs a day to survive.” For upkeep, we require eight hugs every day. For development, we require twelve hugs every day.”
Hugging has been shown in studies to quickly increase the amount of oxytocin. When oxytocin levels rise, so do levels of numerous growth hormones, including insulin-like growth factor-I (IGF-1) and nerve growth factor (NGF). A child’s development can be aided by the loving touch of a hug.” — Pamela Li, author of Parenting for Brain Development
As I’m watching my own children grow up, I’m remembering things from my own childhood, and the most magical time of youth was around the age of 5-7. Some are happy, some are sad, and some are lessons that you never forget. Out of all the memories we have, which ones do we carry into our adult life? Today the pressure on parents to meet the nutritional, medical, emotional, and educational needs of our children is very high and unrealistic. At the end of the day, parents need to ask themselves, are we creating memories/things that kids remember?
“Even if it is more difficult at the moment to insist on having youngsters perform chores, the experience benefits the children.
Furthermore, Marty Rossman’s research indicates that immersing children in domestic duties at a young age might have a favourable influence later in life. According to Rossman, “the strongest predictor of young people’ achievement in their mid-20s was participation in household duties when they were three or four.” Center for Parenting Education’s Deb Cohen
Enjoy The Peaceful Moments
Slow is precisely how I would describe my childhood, albeit it wasn’t a lifestyle choice chosen by my parents. It was just a different era, and many of us were on the outskirts of our parents’ life. As a result, we had the luxury of boredom and the freedom to live our lives on our own terms. Moms and dads didn’t appear compelled to repair, appease, coddle, coax, or otherwise amuse us.
When I started researching, I learned that in recent years, a movement is known as “slow parenting” has evolved. Loosely, slow parenting means no more rushing around physically and metaphorically, no more racing kids from soccer to violin to art class. Slow parenting cherishes quality over quantity, being in the moment, and making meaningful connections with your family. – John Duffy, clinical psychologist.
Slow parenting allows our children to learn how to manage their own emotions. Loyalty, love, and forgiveness are also important life skills.
Children’s imaginations are stimulated and their awareness of the world is expanded when books are read aloud to them. It assists children in developing language and listening abilities, as well as preparing them to grasp the written word. Even after your children have learned to read on their own, it is critical that you read aloud to them together. More on The Importance Of Reading Aloud.
Scientists have discovered that when toddlers learn to play music, their brains begin to perceive and comprehend sounds that they would not have been able to hear otherwise. This helps them build a “neurophysiological differentiation” between particular sounds, which can aid in reading and lead to better academic performance for children.
Raising Children Is Hard Work
When it comes down to it, there’s a lot you can do to assist your child to adjust to and prepare for the life they’ll have in the future. Whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, you can surely set them on the correct road by modelling it to them with your own pleasure. However, if you’re attempting to aid an older youngster who has had fewer favourable experiences in their early years, you’ll need to go above and beyond. You might wish to seek expert assistance.
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What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe To My Parenting NewsletterSign Up For My Parenting Newsletter for tips on creating a happier home and becoming a more positive parent. As a bonus when you subscribe you’ll get a copy of my FREE Growth Mindset Printout For Kids which is the KEY to raising resilient kids with a growth mindset.
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3. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting CourseEnroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)