Nurture The Success Of Your Child With These Tools
We all want the best for our children, and a parent’s most essential task is to learn how to sow the proper seeds, nourish them, and then stand back so they may develop. Here are 11 seeds for what makes a kid succeed in life that may be planted early in life and let to bloom into the world on their own with the appropriate amount of time and love.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what my three children require of me during the next 18 years in our house. My oldest one is approaching 8 years old, and this has caused me to reflect on what he has now and what they still require from me and their father.
What can I do to best prepare children for their future lives on their own?
When I concentrate on one thing, whether it’s good discipline, routines, or averting power clashes by providing options, I see that other areas of my life fall between the cracks.
When you concentrate solely on one subject, it’s easy to lose sight of the larger picture.
Consider what you’d do if you were building a house. You’re not going to use just one sort of material, but a variety of them, right? You can’t construct a house out of nails alone.
That is precisely how parenting and developing well-adjusted children works. You must utilize a variety of tools, materials, and construction techniques, and blend them over time.
When I go through my collection of favourite positive parenting books, I notice a recurring theme about what children require from their parents to boldly enter the world independently.
These are the seeds you may sow early in life and see develop after years of care and attention.
Parenting is a delicate balancing act that relies on your best instincts and intuition.
However, knowledge is power, especially when it comes to raising happy children and preparing a child for success in life.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to raising a kid, but there is information that may help us understand what seeds to sow, how to nourish them, and how to stand aside and watch them develop.
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Here are 11 things parents may do to help their children succeed in life that go beyond the essentials of child-rearing (routines, sleep, good diet, exercise, safety, and so on).
Nurture The Success Of Your Child With These Tools
- Emotional Intelligence
- Connections & Relationships
- Allow children to struggle and succeed.
- Teach Kids To Be Kind
- Give Them Freedom & Independence
- Parenting Through Your Eyes
- Make Your Home a Safe Haven by Changing the Atmosphere
- External Messages Should Be Monitored
- Teaching Self-Control and Responsibility
- Money Management is a Lifelong Ability
It is OK for youngsters to weep, become enraged, feel envious, overwhelmed, furious, or excited.
Emotions are only a means of expressing one’s sentiments, and while they might have unpleasant implications, what one feels is entirely natural.
The issue is that youngsters do not have the brain development necessary to begin controlling their emotions until about the age of seven when the higher brain begins to take shape, and only then can they begin to refine the abilities necessary to express their emotions in healthy ways.
This explains why temper tantrums and meltdowns are difficult for young children to control until they reach the age of seven since they lack the bandwidth to deescalate their emotions.
However, as children become older, it’s critical to teach and allow them to name their emotions, explain how they feel, solve problems, and find peaceful ways to manage their strong emotions.
Children who have a good understanding of emotional intelligence, not only assist themselves but are also more attentive and compassionate to others. They make it simpler for individuals to identify other people’s body language and facial expressions and relate them to emotions.
These are life skills that will assist children in their relationships, careers, and social settings as they develop into adults.
Even if you say no to action, say yes to feelings.
Connections & Relationships
One of the most essential and defining connections a kid will have throughout their lives is with their parents.
When children attempt new things, deal with difficult circumstances, struggle, or are harmed, a parent or adult parenting a child becomes a safety net for them.
More than one founded in control and compulsion, a connection built on respect, empathy, and trust sets the norm for other interactions in the child’s life.
According to Amy from Positive Parenting Solutions, children’s attention buckets need to be filled regularly, and if you spend 10 minutes alone with your child each day, you’ll set yourself and your child up for improved conduct and higher quality connection.
I recently discussed with a children’s therapist what it meant to satisfy children’s basic emotional needs.
She emphasizes the need of giving children more control.
This is a difficult one for many individuals; I know I want to be in complete control 99 percent of the time, so giving up part of that makes me feel uneasy.
Consider that for a moment.
Who decides what your kids eat for supper, when they go to bed, where they go, what they wear, and what they’re permitted to do and what they’re not allowed to do?
When I put myself in my children’s position, I can see why power conflicts occur.
The issue with having too much control is that it results in two sorts of children.
Children who are constantly willing to obey
Children who defy expectations
My friend Darcy went on to say that youngsters who constantly conform are less likely to think or act independently because they’re more concerned with pleasing their parents and gaining acceptance than with doing and thinking for themselves.
Then, when children defy, they are typically branded as “troublemakers.” These are the kids that come to mind when you think of “power battles,” and they have them because they don’t believe they have any, and it’s one of their most basic wants.
Do you see the issue?
Don’t we all want our children to be able to think for themselves and not feel driven to oppose authority and engage in power struggles? None of these things can happen if you have too much control.
So, how do you go about it?
Treating the underlying problem entails addressing children’s need for more control over their life.
How are you going to do that? So, where do you begin?
You offer your children options so they may feel empowered as decision-makers.
- Do you have a younger child? Begin by providing two dinner alternatives, two outfit options, and two snack options.
- If you have older children, give them options for supper, a trip, or a fun event, as well as whether they want to complete schoolwork before or after an after-school snack.
Here are some additional ideas to help youngsters gain control:
- Provide your children with as many proactive options as possible during the day. If you can, make decisions ahead of time when you know there will be power conflicts, since this will help you stay cool.
- Allow your children to fail instead of jumping in to repair things when they are wounded or unhappy. This will help them develop the capacity to manage negative emotions and discover answers on their own.
- Give them plenty of chances to make errors now, when it’s not as serious as it will be when they’re adults.
- Listen to their viewpoints; they could have something to say that you haven’t considered. This is true in both directions. When I explain my reasons and offer my perspective, they are more inclined to accept my choice since they understand it.
When you offer your children power, they will be more respectful and eager to do what you want or need them to do, such as running errands or sitting down to do schoolwork, when the time comes.
I promise that letting go of the urge to control will give you more freedom as well!
Allow Children to Struggle & Overcome Failure
Children who do not learn to accept failure are more likely to experience anxiety. When the inevitable failure occurs, whether in preschool or college, it leads to meltdowns. And, perhaps more importantly, it has the potential to make children give up trying—or attempting new things.
That’s why Michael Jordan, one of the greatest sportsmen of all time, has preached the value of losing for years. Jordan has talked a lot about how patience and tenacity in the face of adversity have helped him succeed on and off the court.
Unfortunately, as the world puts greater pressure on children to be winners, and parents feel obliged to help them in any way they can, we’re witnessing a rise in the number of children who are distressed by even little missteps.
Teach Kids To Be Kind
Children learn how to act, treat others, talk to themselves, and use language from their parents. Modelling positive conduct at home teaches children to learn to be courteous, kind, loving, optimistic, and self-assured.
Parents are and always will be a child’s most important role model.
You set the tone for how your children will behave themselves and others by how you treat yourself and others around you.
Teach them to be kind to themselves while also being sympathetic and doing and saying nice things to others.
Give Them Freedom & Independence
Children require the freedom to explore, try new things, be creative, and venture out into the world without being carried in their arms.
Some parents find it particularly difficult to let go and not hover, whether out of fear or a need for control, but it’s vital to remember that our role as parents is to prepare our children for the world when we are no longer present.
How will they cope when they’re in the heart of it alone if they haven’t seen the world on their own as youngsters and teenagers?
How much latitude should be granted?
We don’t want to raise children who believe they have the right to always have their way and do anything they want, but we also don’t want to harm our connection by being overly strict and arguing with them.
It’s an art, not a science, to support your child’s demand for control. You learn as you go along and as they mature.
Allowing children to have autonomy over their life does not simply allow them to do anything they want.
Children require routines and boundaries to feel safe and structured; they only require as much age-appropriate independence as feasible.
Parenting Through Your Eyes
It matters how you view your child. It is really important.
How do you tell others about your child? Are you saying things that are negative or positive? Do you say words like “he’s so tough,” “he’s obstinate,” “he’s difficult,” “he can’t follow orders,” and other negative phrases?
The mental conversation of your child will be shaped by the way you perceive your child and the parenting lens you use. What you think of them will become what they think of themselves.
It’s difficult to consider before we say at times, but it’s never been more vital than when small ears are around and hear, then absorb, the thoughts and feelings you have about them.
What do you want their internal monologue to be about themselves?
Create A Positive Home
What does it take to raise a child in a happy environment? To make them feel secure, loved, heard, and respected?
Creating a good atmosphere is critical, and it will have a long-term impact on your children.
How many times have you stepped into a house that gave you an uneasy feeling? You want to do everything you can to create the polar opposite – a loving, secure sanctuary for your children to return to even after they’ve grown up and gone away.
However, creating a good home environment entails more than just comfy, cheerful furnishings. It’s about embracing, loving, laughing, expressing affection, celebrating victories, being compassionate, kind, and having fun as a family.
With them, how do you start your day? Is it better to yell at them to get out of bed or softly wake them up and snuggle for two minutes?
Do you greet them with a smile and tell them how glad you are to see them after school? Do you have a glimmer in your eyes? Alternatively, simply inquire about their day.
Children need a loving environment in which to develop a positive self-image, confidence, and attitude.
What happens if your house isn’t a secure refuge for you?
- It upsets you when your parents are physically there but not emotionally available.
- When you don’t receive real praise or encouragement, your efforts begin to feel in vain.
- Childhood instils the belief that you are good enough and deserving of nice things. When you lack this, navigating life, work, and social circles becomes even more difficult.
- A positive family environment sets the tone for your life’s excellent (or poor) connections. You will accept what you are taught and what relationships are modelled in your own life.
- Anxiety and sadness are two of the most prevalent side effects of poor parenting and estranged parent-child interactions.
External Messages Should Be Monitored
Consider the messages that youngsters receive from their classmates, the media, social media, video games, and television.
Are the messages being sent to your children the ones you want them to hear or adopt as their own?
Teaching Self-Control and Responsibility
If these values haven’t been established in your child by the time he or she is a teenager, it’s too late to expect them to know how to be responsible or disciplined. You can’t impose responsibility or self-discipline on them all of a sudden.
Teaching responsibility is demonstrating what is expected of your children and bearing the consequences of their actions if they are unfavourable. This implies that parents must establish clear boundaries and communicate the consequences if the limit is exceeded.
Here’s a quick rundown on how to teach kids responsibility and self-discipline skills throughout their childhood:
- Provide structure – utilize routine cards to give your day structure and to keep track of chores.
- Don’t just scream out the rules without explaining why they’re there.
- Make sure there are repercussions. Explain the ramifications and be ready to carry them out as soon as possible.
- Recognize and reward positive conduct. Praise and praise the excellent items you wish to see more often when you have the opportunity.
- Teach youngsters problem-solving abilities and then stand aside and let them to practise them.
- For your children to emulate, model self-discipline. You’re your children’s largest role model, therefore it’s up to you to teach them what self-discipline and doing the right thing look like.
Money Management is a Lifelong Ability
Because my parents never educated me about money as a child, I battled with it as a young adult.
I never learned how to handle it since I never had the opportunity to learn about saving and budgeting.
I spent money while I had it, and I spent more than I had because of poor credit card judgments.
I felt out of control, powerless, and like the least financially smart person on the earth since I didn’t know anything about money.
This is a fantastic chance you don’t want to miss because young children are already learning about money in elementary school and are aware of how money is utilized and that the things they desire cost money.
We’ve been using these allowance and incentive charts for almost two months to…
A) demonstrate to our children how much influence they have over the final product; and
B) for my elder children who receive an allowance, begin the process of developing financially responsible children, and
C) offer the children more freedom
Note: My five-year-old uses a reward sheet to track tiny incentives she may earn by carrying out her tasks throughout the week. We’ll eventually build in an allowance, but for now, she hasn’t grasped the concept of money.
I understand that giving my children an allowance may be controversial, but I want them to learn from their errors now so they don’t repeat them later.
This means I’ve been fighting the temptation to regulate what they buy, even if I cringe or believe their purchase is a terrible choice.
I’ve seen individuals second-guess how they spend or save money, as well as reconsidering purchases after they’ve been made and making different choices the second or third time around.
My son’s money used to burn a hole in his pocket as soon as he got it, but in the last few weeks, we’ve noticed him saving money and making plans for items he wants.
We’re on the right track, and you’re helping us get there so that when our kids get older, they’ll know how to save, budget, spend, and plan ahead, and hopefully be better with money than I was as a young adult.
Defining the Successful Child
A successful child is one who uses her ability to build ever-improving skills that aid in the formation of positive personal characteristics that will lead to a successful life. Individual skills distinguish a youngster. She puts her abilities to good use in order to create great experiences. She has a strong sense of self and is eager to achieve her objectives.
Parents who work on their parenting skills are more likely to raise successful children. These abilities are used by their parents to improve and promote their children’s abilities. They develop helpful parenting techniques to help their children develop the qualities they need to succeed.
Children that have strong self-esteem and self-worth grow up to be successful adults. They like new experiences and spending time with individuals they care about. They have good principles, values, and character. They are content.
Having a positive outcome or achieving something that was wanted or planned is what success entails. We all have various notions of what a successful life entails since we all have different objectives or purposes. People often characterise a successful life as being happy, healthy, and able to fully enjoy one’s life.
More Discipline Tips
- How To Teach Lessons Through Discipline Instead Of Shame
- Mistakes You May Be Making When Responding To Tantrums
- 5 Powerful Responses For Backtalk
- How You May Accidentally Be Raising Ungrateful Children (And how To Fix That)
- What Is Positive Discipline: 6 Simple Techniques To Use At Home
- Setting Consequences For Kids Who Do Not Care About Consequences
- Is Positive Parenting Solutions Parenting Course Worth It? (Yes…But Why?)
- Natural Consequences You Should Allow Your Children To Experience
- 8 Easy Ways To Battle The “I Can’t Do It” Attitude
- Tips For Parenting An Angry Child
What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe To My Parenting NewsletterSign Up For My Parenting Newsletter for tips on creating a happier home and becoming a more positive parent. As a bonus when you subscribe you’ll get a copy of my FREE Growth Mindset Printout For Kids which is the KEY to raising resilient kids with a growth mindset.
2. Register For A Pretty Awesome FREE 60-Minute Class:Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.
3. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting CourseEnroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)