The Solution To Sibling Rivalry
Your children are squabbling. Again.
They’re fighting in the living room about the remote. Or there’s always the iPad. Or whatever else comes to mind.
“Get it together, guys!” You scream from across the room.
The argument is still going on. You hear screaming in a couple of seconds.
They don’t seem to be able to figure it out. In fact, they never seem to figure it out.
Will the conflict ever come to an end?
Most likely not.
It’s like giving a 7-year-old a 10th-grade math book and expecting them to score an A on the final test if we expect them to “figure it out.”
It’s not going to work out.
We can’t just ignore the fighting and hope it goes away if we want our children to get along with their siblings.
We need to educate kids how to solve problems!
To do this, parents must be present and eager to assist our children in learning and practising new skills.
Instead of ignoring the issue and counting your fingers that they would figure it out eventually, you enable them to make a better decision.
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The Solution To Sibling Rivalry
Keep in mind that this is a talent. Learning and implementing these methods will take time for your children. Like any talent, it will be simple at times and more difficult at others.
Concentrate on the long-term goal: fewer sibling quarrels!
Sibling fighting may set off an alert in our brain almost instantly. Instead of panicking, tell yourself that this isn’t an emergency and concentrate on calming down. It’s possible that you’ll have to wait a minute to answer.
Yep. To be most useful, you’ll need to be where the action is, at least at first. You don’t have to follow your kids around the home, but if you hear a brawl, instead of shouting from another room, you should go to where the kids are fighting.
You may have entered the room in the past handing out punishment (fear conditioning)s and making moral judgments about who was at fault. But this time, because you’re already calm, you’ll be able to provide everyone involved with support and empathy.
Dissect the Issue
Make a broad remark, such as, “It appears that you guys require assistance in resolving this problem.” Then, after hearing each childrens point of view, reiterate their requests: “So, you’d want to watch cat movies and magic trick videos.”
Discuss how to address the situation in a way that is beneficial to all parties involved. You may need to make recommendations initially, but ultimately your children will come up with their own answers. It’s fine to postpone this discussion until everyone has calmed down.
One child could be having more difficulty than the other. In this instance, you may need to provide extra empathy, encouragement, or assistance in finding another activity for that child.
Does it appear to be a lot? It appears to be…at first. But don’t give up before you even get started!
It will eventually become your new habit. You’ll be able to ask, “Do you need help figuring it out?” instead of asking your kids to “figure it out.”
And, on occasion, the response will be “no, we got it!”
It Does Work
Sibling rivalry frequently has an underlying cause: children are struggling with strong sentiments of envy, a desire for their parent’s attention, or apprehension about their parents’ love. Plus, the older your children become, the more established this fighting habit becomes. Repair isn’t impossible, but it’s difficult to picture anything altering.
I sibling rivalry or fighting is taking over your home, put a stop to it and focus on strengthening your bonds with each of your children.