The harsh reality about how to inspire children’s to study is that not all motives are created equal. Most parenting techniques, such as rules, punishments, and incentives, fail because they promote the incorrect sort of drive. Learn how to create the best sort of motivation for children by following these seven research-backed strategies.
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The Goal Is To Encourage Intrinsic Motivation In Kids
Motivation is the driving force behind behavior. There are two forms of motivation in psychology: intrinsic and extrinsic.
- Intrinsic motivation refers to doing something for the sake of having fun.
- Extrinsic motivation refers to completing an action for a separate outcome rather than for its intrinsic delight.
Although these two forms of motivation may result in identical behavior, there are distinctions between them in terms of characteristics and behavior sustainability.
According to studies, when people engage in an activity because they are intrinsically motivated, the quality of engagement and the results are both higher.
Researchers at the University of Rochester invited a group of undergraduate students to read an article and then record their feelings as they read it. They assessed the students’ ability to recall the material a week later. Even after controlling for variations in linguistic aptitude, students who considered the article engaging or pleasant outperformed other students in retaining and comprehending the content.
What Motivates Your Child And What Does Not
So, what motivates your child?
Many parents utilize the “carrot and stick” method to motivate their children, i.e. rules, consequences, incentives, or behavior charts. Many people have fast success at first, but it eventually stops working. Worse, it can occasionally backfire. Here’s why…
Extrinsic motivation is used by children’s when they respond to the “carrot and stick.” We’ve previously shown that the quality of behavior produced by extrinsic motivation is inferior to that produced by intrinsic motivation.
Furthermore, in order for the desired behavior to persist, you must continue to use the carrot and stick. That cannot be sustained in the long run. However, there is a third reason…
Using a carrot and stick actually lowers a children’s innate drive, if it exists at all. Many studies have demonstrated that when a reward (such as ice cream or a video game) or a regulating element (such as punishment or the withdrawal of a privilege) is applied, a person’s intrinsic motivation reduces. In other words, if your child first shows some interest in an activity, your carrot-and-stick “motivation” actually demotivates your child.
To be genuinely motivated, a kid must appreciate an activity for its own sake. External incentives, compliments, and punishment will not motivate someone to become organically interested in an activity. It has the opposite effect.
Is this to say that our hands are bound and we have no options?
Rewards As Motivation Can Certainly Work In Moderation
If your child is not innately driven, we must rely on extrinsic incentives.
Extrinsic incentives, however, are not entirely harmful. Extrinsic motivation is classified into four kinds. They are situated on a continuum of autonomy, ranging from the least autonomous (externally governed) to the most independent (integrated). Integrated motivation is the most desired of these four motives.
When people have fully identified and absorbed a cause to the self, they have achieved integrated motivation. So, what does this imply?
That indicates a person studied the reason and discovered that it aligned with their own beliefs and needs, i.e. they internalized a cause and developed self-drive. They then become self-determined and behavior independently, resulting in better outcomes.
Because integrated motivation shares many characteristics with intrinsic motivation, it is critical to assist children in internalizing a behavior so that it becomes integrated.
How To Motivate A Child So They Don’t Rely on Rewards
Stop Using Traditional Methods For Motivation
Your efforts to encourage your child are most likely having the opposite effect – demotivating your child.
To be intrinsically motivated means to appreciate an action in and of itself. If someone does not love an activity, no amount of nagging, bribing, or threatening will make them like it for the sake of enjoyment.
So the usual methods of motivating children’s — rewarding, praising, nagging, scolding, and punishing — are ineffective.
Inspire Your Child
Controlling someone’s behavior can be accomplished by rewarding, praising, nagging, scolding, and punishing. Being a domineering parent cannot naturally encourage children since you are putting pressure or providing an incentive that is apart from the action itself.
Being autonomous, or self-initiating one’s own activities, is the polar opposite of being controlled. Autonomy is a necessary prerequisite for intrinsic or integrated motivation. According to research, having a sense of autonomy might boost a person’s intrinsic motivation.
For example, when students are not under pressure to learn (as is the case with remote learning), they demonstrate greater quality learning, better conceptual comprehension, and longer retention. 1 When students feel restricted or that they are studying for a cause other than enjoying the learning process, their intrinsic motivation drops.
To successfully drive your child to achieve well in school, strive to inspire rather than control. The greatest approach to inspire your child is to demonstrate the beauty of an activity and how much fun it can be.
- Demonstrate to children’s that learning and mastering a new skill is enjoyable.
- Create a learning atmosphere rather than a working setting, in which we learn to gain new information rather than merely to finish assignments or obtain excellent results.
- Show them the various applications of a new subject to pique their interest.
- Allow them to pick activities based on the children’s interests without putting any pressure on them.
- Together, we will celebrate success milestones (but do not over-praise or praise conditionally).
- Help children by giving them positive comments rather as criticism, which can boost their sense of competence.
- When children’s are stuck on an issue, let them see it as a “challenge they can overcome,” rather than a “difficulty they must overcome.”
- Do not refer to the activity as the “work” of the children’s.
- As a reward, do not utilize a respite from the activity, such as “No homework.”
Help Them Understand The Importance Of An Activity They Don’t Want To Do
Some hobbies are not conducive to enjoyment. If this is the case, assist your child in becoming integrated.
Assist them in determining why an activity is essential and in internalizing the necessity for it. To completely absorb anything, children must understand its meaning and value.
Training for soccer, for example, might be difficult at times. However, practice is an important and required element of attaining mastery. Explain and assist your child realize that if they want to be excellent at soccer, they must practise even if it isn’t always fun.
Allow Them To Make Decisions
Autonomy is essential for developing intrinsic motivation or incorporating extrinsic incentives. Children must be free to make their own decisions in order to feel autonomous, even if they disagree with the decision because self-determination is one of the most powerful intrinsic motivators. 4
Most people are worried that allowing their children to make their own decisions would result in them making the incorrect ones and failing. However, just as falling is an unavoidable part of learning to walk, making poor judgments is an unavoidable and critical part of learning to make excellent decisions. Children also require opportunities to practise decision-making in order to develop self-confidence. If the activity isn’t good for your health, don’t do it.
For example, if a child refuses to do his homework despite being told how important it is, let him face the consequences in school.
If it is not linked to health or safety, but you have a strong desire for her to participate, it is vital to ask yourself why you want it so much. There are some things that children must do, such as go to school, that are not negotiable. (If a child does not want to go, find out why.) Is there bullying at school? Are the professors cruel? Become their champions and collaborate with the school to eliminate those impediments.) However, there are some things that we feel children must do, but they do not.
Children are not supposed to be our companions in life. Just because we regret not learning to play the piano when we were younger does not imply that our children must follow in our footsteps. Children have their own life and goals to pursue.
Create A Challenge
One of the most effective methods to instil intrinsic motivation in children is to provide them with a sense of competence. A child will rapidly become bored if an activity is too simple. However, if an activity is too difficult, a kid could become disheartened or develop self-doubt.
An ideal challenge is one that is somewhat more difficult than what a kid has already mastered but is still attainable with practise and hard work.
It is also critical to assist children’s in developing a development mentality. When children believe that “talent” is flexible, they acquire a growth mentality. Practice and hard effort may help you enhance your skills and mastery. Inform them that it is the process of practising and working through issues that is important. Encourage and assist your child in practising. When they eventually master a new talent, that sense of expertise will produce positive energy and become a powerful internal motivator, putting them on the path to success.
Use Authoritative Parenting
Because extrinsically driven activities are frequently not intrinsically fascinating, the major reason children’s are likely to engage in them is because the behavior is appreciated by individuals to whom they feel attached.
According to research, a sense of belonging and relatedness might help with internalisation.
Relatedness refers to the emotional and personal ties that exist between people.
This means that children’s are more likely to absorb a cause cherished by someone to whom they feel connected or with whom they have bonded.
Because of its relevance in student achievement, the value of relatedness has been widely researched in education. When students feel appreciated and cared for by their instructor in the classroom, they are more naturally driven to study.
Parental relatedness is very essential in children’s motivation. Relatedness is established at home via secure and fulfilling ties between parents and their children.
It should come as no surprise that when you have linked with your kid, they are far more likely to listen to you, adopt your values, and be inspired to participate in activities that are important to you.
So, how can you properly bond with your child?
According to research, parents that use an authoritative parenting style have a stronger relationship with their children. These are caring parents who are attentive to their children’s needs. They also have high expectations of their children and establish limitations for them.
According to psychologists, authoritative parents foster an autonomy-supportive atmosphere in their children’s classrooms, which increases their children’s self-regulation and drive.
An autonomy-supportive setting is one in which parents appreciate their children’s autonomy. They encourage children to select and engage in issue resolution. The domestic environment is democratic rather than authoritarian.
See also: Battle Of the Parenting Styles: Authoritative vs Authoritarian and What Is Authoritative Parenting? to learn more about this parenting style.
Another method to foster relatedness is for parents to participate in the activity and demonstrate how much they appreciate it.
The degree of parental involvement in their children’s learning is one of the most consistent indicators of their school achievement.
You could become engaged in a variety of ways. In sports, you may either coach the activity or practise with your child. You can help out in class at school. You may also engage in other learning activities with children, such as reading to them every night, assisting with school projects, or performing homework assignments with them.
Keep in mind that being involved does not imply taking control. It is still important to give your children autonomy in order to inspire them.
You Can Motivate Your Child To Do Unpleasant Things Without Using Rewards
It might be difficult not to give our children prizes. Sometimes we just want to give our young children something to commemorate their achievements. The trick is not to use it as a backup plan, i.e. if you do this, you will receive this.
Any extrinsic benefits should be unexpected, given only when the task is completed, and not supplied on a regular basis (because then your child will start to expect them).
You can also offer praise, positive feedback or improvement suggestions in place of tangible rewards. All of these things might help to encourage your child for future chores.
More On Motivation
- Types Of Extrinsic Motivation
- Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation
- Intrinsic Motivation: What Is It and How Does It Work?
- How To Praise Children Effectively
- Children’s Books About Perseverance
- Important Life Skills Our Kids Need
- Children’s Responses that Allow Them to Grow From Their Mistakes
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