Positive discipline is the ultimate way for parents to raise their kids with kindness while still being firm.
I can honestly say I was not the positive parent I am today when I first became a parent. My goal has always been for my kids to listen to what I tell them, and to respect the adults around them, but I was going about it all the wrong way.
I was brought up with harsh punishment and yelling, and I thought this was the right way to parent.
Boy was I wrong! I learned the hard way that parenting with love and a little bit of detective work to figure out my child’s real feelings rather than lashing out and punishing was the better way to parent.
Learn from my trial and error and use positive discipline in your home today.
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4 Positive Discipline Examples
Here are 4 positive discipline strategies you can use in your home right away.
Related: Simple Positive Parenting Techniques
We’ve all heard of time outs. Heck, I used to use time out as a very frequent punishment when my child was around 2. Yes, I have done some parenting wrong, but I have learned!
A time-in is a technique used for you and your child to get more connected. Through this connection, you can calm your child down and let your little one get close to you and feel safe and warm – leading to better-behaved children overall.
You can give your child a cuddle when they are going through a difficult moment and calm them down with love and care.
Reacting to situations with a positive tone rather than yelling, can really make a huge difference in the way your child responds to your discipline.
Praise your child when they behave well. If you see your child playing nicely with another child at the park, make it known that you are happy with that behavior. Always tell them they did a great job when they show kindness to others.
Providing this positive attention for what has been done right will help your child know that they are doing a great job! When you focus on the things your child does wrong, their self-esteem and confidence could lower which could lead to more serious issues.
You can explain to your child what can be done better next time when your child does break the rules and set your expectations for what behaviour is acceptable.
Children are not robots. They often cannot remember all the rules that we have set for them. For example, when the kids are playing together, they may start running in the house, when in fact you’ve made it clear that running is not permitted.
Instead of yelling ” stop running in the house!!!” 100 times, take them aside and ask them if they remember what the rule about running is.
If the behaviour continues, you’ll want to just use “Running” as the simple reminder word to keep them from running around the house.
Sometimes, it’s best to let kids be kids and if running is keeping them happy and its fairly safe, then you can relax on the rule. If this is a huge disturbance, and gentle reminders don’t work, you’ll want to redirect the kids into a new activity.
Redirection with younger children is fairly easy to instil. If your child is playing with something you do not approve of, give them something to play with that is better for them.
When your children are older and you need to redirect your child from TV to another activity, try to avoid words like “You can’t watch tv anymore, go play outside”. Instead say, “It’s so beautiful out, why don’t you go play outside? You can use your new water balloons!”
Your child will likely not have a problem with your suggestion of him spending time outside if it sounds like that activity is more fun than watching TV.
Redirection is an art. It’s not always easy to come up with plans that your child will agree to. But, you know your child best, and you can come up with solutions and fun things to redirect your children towards a better activity.
What Is Positive Discipline
Positive discipline is a way of parenting that focuses on correcting behaviour in children using positive strategies rather than focusing on negatives.
There are no bad kids, just bad habits and behaviour. If we can focus on the child’s behaviour and finding the root of it to solve it, that is using positive discipline.
When you use positive discipline, you don’t use angry, disruptive, or violent responses to behaviour.
Benefits Of Positive Discipline
When you use positive strategies when parenting in your home, your children will thank you when they’re older! Some benefits of positive discipline include:
Helps children feel like they belong
Children who aren’t criticised and yelled at often feel loved in their home environment. They feel like they truly belong. And there is no better feeling than that.
The effects are long term
The effects of positive discipline last a lifetime. Short outbursts of anger only seem to solve issues short term, while positive strategies dig deeper and the effects last a lifetime.
Important communication and life skills are learned
Positive discipline is all about communicating with your children instead of talking at them, meaning children learn great communication skills while they are growing up. Great skills to have!
Using Positive Discipline At Home
Positive discipline is a great alternative to traditional parenting and I truly believe it should be used in all homes around the world.
Remember to use communication and kindness when dealing with tough situations and show your child lots of love during difficult moments.