🐍 105+ Snake Jokes for Kids That Are Hiss-terical!
Looking for a hiss-terical way to make your little ones laugh? These snake jokes for kids are packed with puns, punchlines, and pure silliness. With 105 clean and kid-approved jokes, you’ll have more than enough to fill lunchboxes, car rides, and even classroom giggle breaks.
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🐍 Classic Snake Jokes (25 Jokes)
These timeless snake jokes will get kids hissing with laughter.
- Why don’t snakes wear glasses?
Because they can’t find the right frames! - What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie?
A python a la mode! - Why are snakes good at measuring things?
Because they have scales! - What do snakes do after a fight?
They hiss and make up! - What’s a snake’s favorite dance move?
The boa bounce! - Why was the snake so good at math?
It was an adder! - How do snakes end a conversation?
With a hiss and a goodbye. - What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent. - Why did the snake bring a ladder?
To reach new scales! - What do you call a snake who tells tall tales?
A hiss-terical liar. - Why did the snake join the circus?
To become a contortionist! - What kind of shoes do snakes wear?
None — they prefer slippers. - Why did the snake fail his driving test?
He couldn’t find the brake hiss-tem. - What do you get when you cross a snake and a hedgehog?
Barbed wire. - How do snakes send messages?
With a hiss-text. - Why don’t snakes use cell phones?
They’re afraid of being “screened.” - What’s a snake’s favorite movie?
Hisss Potter and the Chamber of Slithering. - What kind of stories do snakes love?
Fangs and fairy tales. - What is a snake’s favorite snack?
Mice Krispies. - What’s a snake’s favorite board game?
Hiss-n-Ladders. - Where do snakes keep their savings?
In a hiss-bank. - Why don’t snakes like playing poker?
Too easy to tell when they’re bluffing — their tails rattle. - What do you call a snake who works on a construction site?
A boa builder. - Why did the snake get a promotion?
He had a hiss-toric track record! - How does a snake cut its food?
With a hiss-ers!
🐍 Knock-Knock Snake Jokes (15 Jokes)
Perfect for back-and-forth fun at home or school!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Fang.
Fang who?
Fang you for asking!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Hiss.
Hiss who?
Hiss me, I’m a snake!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boa.
Boa who?
Boa-ring jokes aren’t allowed here!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Rattle.
Rattle who?
Rattle you before you nap?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sssam.
Sssam who?
Sssam body call for a snake?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Adder.
Adder who?
Adder you ready for another joke?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Slink.
Slink who?
Slink-ing up on you like a sneaky snake!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Venom.
Venom who?
Venom I done, you’ll be laughing!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Cobra.
Cobra who?
Cobra your ears — this one’s silly!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Striker.
Striker who?
Striker pose, it’s a snake selfie!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Flick.
Flick who?
Flick out your tongue like a snake!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Viper.
Viper who?
Viper your nose, it’s runny!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Slither.
Slither who?
Slither me timbers!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Constrictor.
Constrictor who?
Constrictor-ly speaking, I’m hilarious.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Scales.
Scales who?
Scales me every time you tell a joke!
🐍 School & Homework Snake Jokes (10 Jokes)
Ideal for lunchbox notes or classroom chuckles.
- What subject do snakes excel in?
Hiss-tory! - Why don’t snakes take spelling tests?
Too many S’s! - What’s a snake’s least favorite class?
Human Geography. - Why did the snake get detention?
It was caught hissing during quiet time. - What kind of school do snakes go to?
Hiss School! - Why did the teacher call the snake to the principal’s office?
It kept sliding out of class. - How do snakes do their homework?
On a hiss-top computer! - Why did the snake fail art class?
It couldn’t draw a straight line. - What’s a snake’s favorite school supply?
A coil notebook. - What did the snake write on its school report?
“Sssatisfactory effort!”
🐍 Python Jokes (10 Jokes)
These python puns will have even grown-ups smiling.
- What’s a python’s favorite programming language?
Python, of course! - Why did the python start a tech company?
It was good at coding and coiling. - What do you call a polite python?
A civil serpent. - Why don’t pythons play hide-and-seek?
Because they always get caught hugging people! - How does a python ask a question?
“May I sssslide something past you?” - Why was the python so successful?
It always squeezed the competition! - What kind of jokes do pythons love?
Ones that wrap around the punchline! - Why did the python refuse to play basketball?
It didn’t want to be called a ball python. - Where do pythons go on vacation?
The hiss-terranean! - What did the python say when it made a mistake?
“Oops, I constricted the wrong idea!”
🐍 Rattlesnake Jokes (10 Jokes)
Shake up your laughs with these rattling one-liners.
What band does a rattlesnake love?
Shake Rattle & Roll!
Why did the rattlesnake get kicked out of music class?
Too much noise!
What do you call a rattlesnake with rhythm?
A hiss-terical percussionist!
Why don’t rattlesnakes play hide-and-seek?
Their tail gives them away every time!
What’s a rattlesnake’s favorite game?
Rattle and Seek.
Why did the rattlesnake take dance lessons?
It wanted to perfect its shake.
What’s a rattlesnake’s favorite toy?
A maraca!
Why did the rattlesnake bring a bell to school?
It wanted to start a band!
What’s a rattlesnake’s favorite type of phone?
One with vibrate mode!
Why are rattlesnakes terrible liars?
You can always hear them coming!
🐍 Animal Mix-Up Snake Jokes (10 Jokes)
Cross-breed comedy fun!
What do you get when you cross a snake with a porcupine?
Barbed wire.
What happens when a snake marries a kangaroo?
You get a jump rope!
What do you call a snake crossed with a pie?
A python a la mode!
What do you get if you mix a snake with a snowman?
Frostbite!
What do you call a snake mixed with a dog?
A boa-bark constrictor.
What happens when a snake and a skunk team up?
Something that really stinks and strikes!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a sheep?
A hiss-terical baa-by.
What do you call a snake with antlers?
A slithering deer-i-corn.
What happens when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jumpy ssssslither!
What do you call a snake mixed with a bee?
A buzzard constrictor!
🐍 Snake Riddles (10 Jokes)
Make kids think and giggle!
I slither and slide but don’t have feet. I hiss and hide in the desert heat. What am I?
A snake!
I’m long and thin and coil with ease. I sneak through grass and climb up trees. What am I?
A boa constrictor!
You won’t find shoes upon my feet. I never blink or miss a beat. What am I?
A snake!
I rattle but I’m not a baby toy. I live in deserts and do not annoy—unless you do first! What am I?
A rattlesnake.
I don’t have arms, but I give tight hugs. You’ll find me deep in forest rugs. What am I?
A python.
I hiss, I slither, and I scare some away. But I’m actually helpful in my own way. What am I?
A garden snake.
I hang from trees but don’t have hands. I’m good at squeezing, not making plans. Who am I?
A tree boa.
I have scales but I’m not a fish. I sneak up quiet and grant your wish—to laugh! What am I?
A joke snake!
I don’t have a tail, but I’ll shake one loud. I’m not shy—I’m deadly proud. What am I?
A rattlesnake.
I can coil and twist and tangle tight, But don’t confuse me with a string at night. What am I?
A snake!
🐍 Bonus Snake Jokes (15 Jokes)
Can’t categorize these — they’re just plain funny!
Why did the snake bring sunscreen?
It didn’t want to shed too soon!
What’s a snake’s favorite genre of music?
Rap-tiles!
How do snakes stay in shape?
They do boa-dybuilding!
Why don’t snakes make good babysitters?
Too many hissy fits!
Where do snakes park their cars?
In the boa-row pit!
Why was the snake such a good magician?
It always had a few tricks up its scales!
What do snakes write in their diaries?
“Dear Hiss-tory…”
What do you call a snake with great manners?
A charm constrictor!
Why did the snake bring a microphone to the party?
It was ready to drop some hiss-terical rhymes!
What do you get when a snake enters a spelling bee?
A ssssscholar!
Why do snakes make terrible chefs?
They always use too much squeeze.
How do you know when a snake is excited?
It can’t sit still — it’s rattled!
What kind of movies do snakes love?
Hiss-terical comedies.
What did the snake say after telling a joke?
“Wasn’t that hiss-terical?!”
Why don’t snakes play cards?
They hate getting dealt a bad hisss.
🛍️ Snake Gift Ideas for Kids Who Love Jokes
Turn the giggles into gifts! Here are fun snake-themed goodies perfect for birthdays or classroom prizes (Amazon affiliate links – tracking ID: tmsp29-20):
- 🧸 Giant Plush Snake Toy – So cuddly it’s scary!
- 📚 Snake Joke Book for Kids – Jam-packed with more slithery silliness.
- 🧠 Snake Cube Puzzle – Twist, turn, and challenge those brains!
🌐 Want More Animal Jokes?
Love these snake jokes for kids? Don’t miss:
- Camp Jokes for Kids
- Lion Jokes for Kids
- Earth Day Jokes for Kids
- Funny Bat Jokes
- Horse Racing Jokes
- Train Jokes for Kids
- Scuba Diving Jokes
- Baseball Jokes
❓ FAQ: Snake Jokes for Kids
Are snake jokes safe for all ages?
Absolutely. Every joke in this list is G-rated and great for ages 4+.
Can I use these jokes in the classroom?
Yes! They’re perfect for school newsletters, joke-of-the-day boards, or fun brain breaks.
Do these jokes help with fear of snakes?
Yes — turning something scary into something silly helps kids feel more comfortable.
Where can I find more animal jokes?
Right here on the blog! Use the search bar or check our animal joke archives.
What if I want to print them?
Copy, paste, and print! These jokes make great bookmarks or lunchbox inserts.
🐍 Final Thoughts: Let the Laughter Slither On
These snake jokes for kids are a silly, safe way to spark laughter and curiosity. Whether you’re sharing them on the playground or telling jokes at bedtime, you’ll keep the laughs rolling like a runaway rattlesnake.
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💬 Got a joke we missed? Drop it in the comments — we might just add it!