Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Kids
Valentine’s Day morning in my house is nothing short of organized chaos. Picture this: heart-shaped pancakes sizzling on the griddle, while three kids argue over who gets the “good” red crayon to finish their Valentine cards.
My youngest, Jake, is trying to sneak chocolates out of the candy stash, my middle child, Emma, is glue-sticking glitter to everything (including the dog), and my oldest, Oliver, is groaning at how “uncool” Valentine’s Day is.
Amidst the whirlwind, I realize there’s only one thing that can keep everyone smiling and bring some much-needed laughter to the day: jokes!
After all, what better way to celebrate love than with giggles?
Whether your little ones need a quick laugh before school, or you’re looking for some lighthearted fun at the Valentine’s Day party, these kid-friendly jokes are sure to be a hit.
So grab a coffee (trust me, you’ll need it), gather your crew, and enjoy these 33 funny Valentine’s Day jokes for kids. Laughter guaranteed, glitter in your hair optional!
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33 Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids
1. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet-hearts!
2. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!
3. Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend?
His heart wasn’t in it.
4. What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
Be my Valen-slime!
5. Why did the melon propose to his girlfriend?
Because she was one in a melon!
6. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I lava you!
7. Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a party?
Because it’s all about love and punch!
8. What did the bee say to his Valentine?
I love bee-ing with you!
9. What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauli-flowers!
10. How did the cucumber ask his Valentine to be his?
You’re a big dill to me!
11. What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that’s late?
Choco-late!
12. Why did the math book look so sad on Valentine’s Day?
It had too many problems.
13. How do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
With a scent-imental gift!
14. What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valen-tiny!
15. Why do bananas love Valentine’s Day?
Because they find it a-peeling!
16. What did the baker say to his Valentine?
You’re the icing on my cake!
17. Why did the whale fall in love?
He found his porpoise-mate!
18. What did one sheep say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I love ewe!
19. How did the hamburger ask his crush out?
With a cheesy pick-up line!
20. Why did the owl give his girlfriend a Valentine?
Owl always love you!
21. What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day?
Forget-me-nuts!
22. What did the vampire say to his Valentine?
You’re fang-tastic!
23. What’s a cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day treat?
Kitty kisses!
24. Why did the candle give his girlfriend a Valentine?
Because she lights up his life!
25. What do you call a train loaded with candy on Valentine’s Day?
A sweet-heart express!
26. How does a farmer tell someone he loves them?
You’re my butter-half!
27. What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me!
28. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was already stuffed!
29. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift for a dinosaur?
A fossilized heart!
30. What did one pencil say to the other?
You’re write for me!
31. Why don’t oysters give each other Valentine’s Day cards?
Because they’re shellfish!
32. What did the boy cat say to the girl cat?
You’re purr-fect for me!
33. What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day at school?
The “sweet” grades!
There you have it! 33 funny and adorable Valentine’s Day jokes to bring some extra love and laughter into your day. Whether you’re sharing them at the breakfast table, tucking them into lunchboxes, or using them to break the ice at a classroom party, these jokes are sure to spread smiles.
And hey, if you find glitter in your hair for the next two weeks, just remember: you’re creating memories. Happy Valentine’s Day from my (slightly chaotic but full of love) family to yours!