65 Tips to a Successful Calm Down Corner
How to create a calm down corner and why it is an effective way to calm down a child who needs a little help regulating some big emotions in a safe space and cozy corner.
As a mom of three, I’ve learned a thing or two about managing meltdowns and tantrums.
Let’s talk about the calm down corner, a parenting lifesaver!
Children experience big feelings and strong emotions, and sometimes those emotions are hard to control.
They can be difficult for adults to control, so imagine being a child and learning all these new skills on a daily basis.
Controlling emotions is not an easy task for anyone, so sometimes it’s not a bad idea to provide a gentle helping hand such as a calming corner with sensory activities to teach children how to self-regulate and handle these emotions.
You can help your child combat some of these big feelings by providing them space where they can remain calm and not get overstimulated.
This calm corner space should be comfortable and calming so children can feel relaxed and can calm their minds and bodies as well as process some of the big feelings they could be feeling.
Here are some ways you can make your own calm down corner so your child has some healthy ways to express their emotions and calm down their nervous system.
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How To Create A Calm Down Corner
A calm-down corner doesn’t have to be a “corner” but rather a safe space your child can retreat to when they are in need to calm down and take deep breaths.
Different homes will have different calming corner must-haves but here are some of the common components of a great calm down corner space.
Comfort: The first things your corner needs are comfort items. A soft and comfortable pillow or stuffed animal can provide your child with a comfortable place to sit or a furry friend to hug. You can use pillows, cushions, blankets, and other soft cuddly items to make your space cozy and inviting.
Calming: You can create a calm down glitter jar sensory bottle or a lava lamp for your child to gaze calmly into.
Engaging: Add some books and toy cars to your calm down kit to ensure that space has something that can engage their mind and help further clarify the mind for their social-emotional learning.
Choose A Calm Location
When considering where to place your calm down corner you should choose a low traffic area that has enough space for the things you want to provide for your child when they need to calm down.
This needs to be positive place with room for a soft mat and some activities such as small puzzles and favorite books. behavior” is simply a way of communication that isn’t being expressed correctly. There are so many benefits of a calm down corner and simple fidget toys and a safe spot can calm a child who has experienced too much excitement down very quickly. This kind of soothing spot is great for supporting the mental health of your kids.
Add Furniture
Simple bean bags or cushions will do if you’re low on space in your calm down area. You can add a comfortable chair, a shaggy rug, throw pillows, or even a small table if you have space.
Add Posters
You’ll want to ensure that the designated space promotes healthy behavior solutions so a few posters and feelings chart are a must-have in your quiet place where kids process emotions. Here are some great ones you can snag for a great price on Amazon.
Don’t Forget The Calm Down Tools
There are so many different items you can place in your peace corner, and each calm down corner will be different.
Here are some suggestions for calm down tools you can use in your corner:
- Noise-canceling headphones
- Calm down cards
- Squishy Balls
- Fidget Spinners
- Stress Balls
- Glitter Jars
- Sensory Bins
- Bucket of books
- Poster of breathing techniques
Talk To Child About Calm Down Corner Rules And Expectations
Talk to your child about what you expect to happen in the calm down corner. When children are young, you’ll want to sit with them in their calm space, but when they are older than can hang out in there by themselves while they calm down.
Lay out your rules clearly so they know that dumping sensory bins on the floor is not appropriate behavior, and drawing on the walls is also a big no no.
A lot of that kind of behavior can be prevented by having a parent present during the calm down moment, but if it’s not possible or if the child is old enough, simply explain your expectations.
Why Is A Calm Down Corner Important
There are many reasons why every home should have a calm down corner but the most important one is that children do not misbehave and explode with big emotions because they want to like it’s the cool thing to do.
Not at all.
Children have trouble understanding their feelings and do not know how to regulate their emotions until later in life. Actually, some adults do not possess the power to regulate their emotions, because it is HARD, and expecting little minds to grasp the concept is a little nuts.
You can create a great teaching moment when you provide your child the space they need to process their feelings when they are experiencing symptoms of distress.
The entire purpose of the calm down corner is to get out of the angry quick reaction phase and engage the thinking part of the brain.
Builds emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence takes some time to learn. It is the ability to recognize how we feel and how others feel, which leads us into our next behavior decision.
During the toddler years, children learn about basic feelings such as sad, mad, happy, tired, etc. Later in life, we learn about more complex feelings as we experience them.
Explains That Unpleasant Emotions Are Real And Normal Too
As adults, we understand that people experience feelings and react to different situations in unique ways.
However, children do not know what is normal, what is not normal and what they are “supposed to feel.”
Creates Structure
Routines and structure are the keys to successful child rearing and when children have consistent and predictable ways of handling big notions, they get that structure that they need.
Setting up an area in your home for learning how to handle big emotions is a great way to let your child know that this is where we calm down and think about our experiences.
Teaches Lessons
One of the biggest lessons that children learn from a calm down corner is that everyone makes mistakes.
Yes mom and dad aren’t perfect, they make mistakes and it’s okay! We learn and we grow and we get better.
You can explain to your child that making a mistake can make you feel like you failed, but it doesn’t not mean that you are a bad person in general.
When To Use A Calm Down Corner
There are many opportunities to use a calm down corner in your home, and as an effective tool to learn that emotional regulation, it should be used when children are experiencing big feelings.
As an alternative to time out
Time out is a tool that I personally don’t promote as it is not a positive parentingtool, but when time out’s do not work in your home, a calm down corner is a good solution.
Children misbehave when they are overstimulated and cannot process the feelings they feel. Going to a calm down corner is not a punishment for your child, it is a space where they can feel safe and secure and learn to deal with the emotions they are feeling.
It is not punishment at all, it is a happy place of peace and calm.
During an Episode of anger
Whether your child is angry or extremely sad, a calm down corner is a great place to direct them
Have you ever tried to explain to a crying child anything at all? It’s like talking to a brick wall. Nothing is getting through.
At this point, the child is out of control and and needs to come back to reality before they will be able to absorb any lessons that you have to teach them.
If you feel your child is on the edge of anger or extreme sadness, encourage them to go to the calm down corner before the explosive feelings happen.
If your child has already hit the anger point, you’ll have to help your child calm down before leading them into the calm down corner. They need to understand this is not a place for punishment, and throwing an angry child into the calm down corner will have a negative effect.
If my child is having some strong feelings, I often have to look into his eyes and breathe with him until he calms down. This works for both of my children really well. And there is a certain power in a hug after they have returned to a calm state of mind.
After my kids do calm down, I lead them to their calm down corner where they can remain calm and have some time to process the situation they just went through.
You can stay with your child and talk to them while they process these feelings, or you can leave them alone to play with the calm items you have provided.
The great thing about using the calm down corner is the fact that you don’t feel guilty about any sort of “bad parenting” practices such as yelling or spanking (which I totally am guilty of doing, but and I hate that these moments happen… but I am human and I make mistakes.)
65 Tips To Make A Calm Down Corner For Kids
- Choose a Quiet Location: Select a space that is away from noisy areas.
- Comfortable Seating: Add bean bags, cushions, or a small couch.
- Soft Lighting: Use soft, warm lights to create a soothing atmosphere.
- Calming Colors: Paint the walls with soothing colors like blues or greens.
- Use a Canopy or Tent: This can make the space feel safe and enclosed.
- Include Weighted Blankets: They provide comfort and a sense of security.
- Sound Machine: For playing calming sounds like rain or ocean waves.
- Aroma Therapy: Use gentle scents like lavender to promote relaxation.
- Wall Art: Hang calming images, like nature scenes or gentle animals.
- Privacy Screen: If the corner is in a shared space, add a folding screen.
- Stress Balls: Keep a few to help with physical stress release.
- Fidget Toys: Include various types for tactile stimulation.
- Breathing Exercise Posters: Visual guides to help with deep breathing.
- Emotion Cards: To help kids identify and express their feelings.
- Soft Music Playlist: Have a ready-to-play list of calming music.
- Plants: Add some greenery for a touch of nature.
- Comfortable Rugs: Ensure the flooring is soft and welcoming.
- Books: Include books about feelings and mindfulness.
- Art Supplies: For expressing feelings through drawing or coloring.
- Yoga Mat: For practicing simple yoga or stretching exercises.
- Calm Down Bottles: Glitter or sensory bottles that kids can shake and watch.
- Pillows: Cozy and soft, for extra comfort.
- Clock or Timer: To help with time management during calm down periods.
- Mood Lighting: LED strip lights with changeable colors can set different moods.
- Visual Calm Down Strategies: Posters or cards with calming strategies.
- Bean Bag Chair: For a soft and comfortable seating option.
- Headphones: For listening to music or guided meditations.
- Sensory Bins: Filled with items like rice or beans for tactile exploration.
- Bubbles: Blowing bubbles can be a calming activity.
- Journals: For older kids to write or draw their feelings.
- Mirror: To help kids recognize and understand their facial expressions.
- Puzzle Games: Simple puzzles can be soothing and engaging.
- Therapy Dough: Similar to playdough, but designed for stress relief.
- Space Divider: To create a distinct and separate area.
- Personalized Decor: Let the child choose some decor items to personalize the space.
- White Noise Machine: To mask distracting outside noises.
- Calming Apps: Tablet with apps designed for relaxation and mindfulness.
- Low Shelves: For easy access to calming toys and books.
- Soft Fabric Hangings: To create a cozy, tent-like feel.
- Chewable Jewelry: For kids who find oral sensory input calming.
- Kinetic Sand: For tactile play and relaxation.
- Soothing Wall Decals: Such as clouds, stars, or peaceful animals.
- Comfort Items: Allow a special toy or blanket for comfort.
- Foam Roller or Soft Balls: For gentle muscle relaxation.
- Guided Imagery Recordings: For older kids to listen to and relax.
- Magnetic Drawing Board: For mess-free drawing and doodling.
- Peel and Stick Chalkboard: Where kids can doodle or write feelings.
- Visual Timer: To show how much calm down time is left.
- Soft Play Blocks: For quiet, constructive play.
- Lava Lamp or Aquarium: Visually calming objects to watch.
- Sensory Wall Panels: With different textures to touch and feel.
- Safe Space Rules Poster: Guidelines for using the calm down corner.
- Positive Affirmation Cards: To promote positive self-talk.
- Balance Cushion: For sensory input through subtle movement.
- Water Beads: In a contained area for sensory play.
- Hammock Chair: For a unique and comforting seating option.
- Mindfulness Bells: A gentle way to bring attention back to the present.
- Cozy Corner Sign: To clearly mark the calm down area.
- Adjustable Lighting: To control the brightness according to need.
- Nature Sounds CD: For a calming auditory environment.
- Interactive Play Mats: With calming colors and textures.
- Picture Frames: To display calming images or family photos.
- Soft Throws or Blankets: For added warmth and comfort.
- Relaxation Guidebook: With various techniques for self-calming.
- Color Changing Bubble Column: A visually soothing addition.
Using the Calm Down Corner in daily life
Once you have created a Calm Down Corner for your child, it’s important to incorporate it into your daily routine. Here are some tips for using the Calm Down Corner effectively:
- Teach your child how to use the Calm Down Corner: Before your child needs to use the Calm Down Corner, make sure they understand what it is and how to use it. Explain that it is a space where they can go to calm down, and show them how to use the items in the space to help them relax.
- Encourage your child to use the Calm Down Corner proactively: Rather than waiting until your child is upset to suggest using the Calm Down Corner, encourage them to use it proactively as a tool for self-regulation. For example, you might suggest that your child spend some time in the Calm Down Corner after a particularly challenging activity or before bedtime.
- Reinforce positive behavior: When your child does use the Calm Down Corner to manage their emotions, be sure to praise and reinforce their positive behavior. Let them know that you are proud of them for taking control of their emotions and using the tools available to them.
- Use the Calm Down Corner as a tool for problem-solving: If your child is struggling with a particular issue, you might suggest that they spend some time in the Calm Down Corner to help them think through the problem and come up with solutions.
- Be consistent: Using the Calm Down Corner effectively requires consistency and repetition. Make it a regular part of your child’s routine, and encourage them to use it whenever they need to manage their emotions.
By incorporating the Calm Down Corner into your daily routine, you can help your child develop important self-regulation skills and promote positive behavior. Remember that the Calm Down Corner is just one tool in your parenting toolkit, and that effective positive parenting requires a holistic approach that takes into account your child’s individual needs and preferences.
Essential Elements for a Calm Down Corner
- Comfortable Seating: Include a bean bag chair, cushion, or pillow. This encourages kids to stay and calm down at their own pace.
- Soft Surfaces: Yoga mats or soft rugs can add to the comfort.
- Headphones: With or without music, headphones can help block out external noise and allow for calming sounds.
- Visual Schedule: Post a schedule of sensory strategies to guide children in their calming process.
- Emotional Tools: Incorporate items like emotions playdough mats and calming corner printables.
- Books and Visual Aids: Keep books that talk about feelings and friendship within reach.
- Stuffed Animals and Dolls: These can provide a sense of companionship and comfort.
- Personal Space: Use privacy covers or boundaries to create a secluded space.
- Movement: Add items that allow for gentle movement, like a small trampoline or swing.
Movement in a Calm Down Corner
Movement is a key aspect of a calm down corner, helping to regulate emotions and increase body awareness. You can include:
- Proprioceptive activities like jumping mats, weighted blankets, and play dough.
- Vestibular activities such as swings and dance movements.
Sensory Integration
Remember, a calm down corner should cater to all senses to address different moods and needs. Incorporating multisensory tools and materials can make it more effective and inviting for children.
Best Practices
A calm down corner should be quiet, comfortable, and distraction-free. It’s a place for children to practice calming techniques and engage in activities that support their emotional well-being.
This is not a reward for bad behavior
As I’ve mentioned previously, children cannot regulate their emotions and therefore “bad behavior” is simply a way of communication that isn’t being expressed correctly.
There are so many benefits of a calm down corner and simple fidget toys and a safe spot can calm a child who has experienced too much excitement down very quickly. This kind of soothing spot is great for supporting the mental health of your kids.
What we are teaching here are coping skills, emotional regulation and appropriate reaction.
You simply cannot punish a child for not knowing how to handle emotions.
Do you punish yourself when you explode at your children, or your boss, or your husband?
Maybe a little, but you know better, and you know how you should have acted.
Children don’t understand “appropriate” behavior, which is why it is our job as parents to teach them.
This is not the “easy way out” and “raising soft kids” solution.
This is teaching children how to understand their emotions now so that when they are adults they will be better people than some of the adults we encounter in our daily lives today.
With a little love and care, you can raise kind human who can make a positive difference in the future.
Creating a calm down corner isn’t just about the physical space; it’s about understanding and responding to your child’s emotional needs. It’s a journey of trial and error, and what works for one child might not work for another. As a mom, I’ve found that patience and a little creativity go a long way in making these spaces both functional and fun.
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References
- Happy Glove Balloons: A simple, cost-effective distraction technique using a ‘happy glove balloon’ to calm and distract toddlers pre-operatively, demonstrating the use of playful distractions in calming children (Munshi, Ali, & Khan, 2014).
- Coaching Approach Behavior and Leading by Modeling (CALM) Program: Developed as a developmentally compatible intervention to treat anxiety disorders in young children, emphasizing parent-focused treatment and coaching skills during parent-child interactions to reinforce brave behavior (Puliafico, Comer, & Albano, 2013).
- CALMA for Asthma Management in Puerto Rican Children: A culturally adapted family asthma management intervention that showed promise in reducing asthma morbidity, highlighting the importance of culturally sensitive interventions (Canino et al., 2008).
- School Nurse-Delivered Intervention for Anxious Children (CALM): A study on the feasibility of a brief, nurse-administered intervention based on cognitive behavioral strategies to reduce anxiety symptoms in children, demonstrating school-based approaches to managing anxiety (Muggeo, Stewart, Drake, & Ginsburg, 2017).
- Promoting Stress Management and Wellbeing in Educators (CALM): This study evaluated a school-based yoga and mindfulness intervention for educators, showing significant benefits for stress management and wellbeing, which indirectly could benefit the creation of calm environments for children (Harris et al., 2016).
- Parents’ Perceptions of Their Children’s Engagement in a Meditation Mobile App (Calm): A study on parents’ perceptions of their children’s use of the Calm app for mindfulness and meditation, highlighting the role of digital tools in promoting calmness and sleep among children (Puzia, Laird, Green, & Huberty, 2020).
- Physical Exercise as a Reinforcer to Promote Calmness in an ADHD Child: This study found that using physical activity as a reinforcer increased attentive calmness in a child with ADHD, suggesting the utility of physical exercise in promoting calm behavior (Azrin, Ehle, & Beaumont, 2006).