How To Respond When Your Child Is Disrespectful
Do you have a disobedient child?
As a parent, you try your best to instil in your children the values of love and kindness. They are, for the most part. To strangers!
When they’re with you, on the other hand, they roll their eyes, stick out their tongues, and speak back. All of these are little yet vexing indications of disrespect.
Worse, they shout, swear, break the rules and backtalk, and even engage in physical assault. These are more serious indications that your child is disobeying you. And that is something you should not overlook.
It is quite upsetting to us when our children are cruel and disrespectful, and maintaining this behaviour may result in their becoming an unpleasant adult. And no one likes obnoxious grownups!
Is it feasible to stop the disrespectful behaviour and get your children to respect you once in a while? Absolutely! Is it simple? Absolutely not!
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Understanding the Disrespect
Disrespectful behaviour in children can occur for a variety of reasons. It’s frequently a good idea to understand where the behaviour is coming from before attempting to fix it.
Most likely, your child is not attempting to be a brat. However, they could be experiencing an emotion that they are unable to express, which manifests itself in either anger or disrespectful behaviour.
Disrespect Is Not Ok
As parents, we must educate our children on how to treat people with respect and how to express strong emotions without being rude.
We can’t educate kids to be courteous in the heat of the moment, unfortunately.
I know you want to deal with it right now.
When your kid becomes angry, not content, irritated or disturbed, the reasoning part of their brain shuts down. They are in a state of survival. Their bodies are overwhelmed with stress hormones, making it difficult for them to hear and comprehend the teachings you are attempting to teach.
I also know how much you despise being insulted.
The objective is to confront the behaviour without threatening, bribing, or reacting disrespectfully.
Maintain Your Calm
It’s difficult to remain calm when our children are being disrespectful. This may appear to be impossible at first. Disrespecting them sends the wrong message. Instead, before you reply to your child, take a deep breath, count to 20, or recite a mantra: “This is not an emergency.”
Consider things from your childrens point of view. Were they taken aback? Is your question inconvenient? Do they feel helpless? Their reaction reflects how they are feeling on the inside. Unfortunately, they are unable to place it in a more appropriate wand at this time.
Help your kid comprehend their own sentiments by responding empathetically, “It feels unfair that we have to go already” or “I know it’s hard to leave when you’re having so much fun!” You don’t have to agree with the sentiment; it only indicates you’re willing to empathize to their experience.
Examine the Time
Some children suffer from low blood sugar, hunger, or thirst. Others are extremely susceptible to external stimuli or a lack of sleep. Is it been a long time since your child last ate? Could they please have a drink of water? Or perhaps a respite from a noisy environment? Offer it in a non-threatening manner, such as, “I’m going to have a cracker; would you want one as well?”
It’s easy to become engrossed in the “runaway train” of angry, irritating words and feelings. Rather than getting on board and responding to every criticism or complaint your child directs at you, try to apply the brakes, “Whoa! That’s a lot of information. I’d want to listen, but you’re speaking too quickly. Let’s all quiet down so I can understand what you’re saying.”
When your child is misbehaving, snuggling is the last thing on your mind. However, for many children, the connection is just what they require! You will be able to notice that your child is hurting and in need of help if you can see past the behaviour and disregard all of the huge sentiments and overpowering emotions. Spend some quality time or give frequent hugs to create those connections. Find your childrens love language and speak it to them.
Teach At A Better Moment
When everyone has calmed down, you may discuss what occurred and how to do things better the next time.
Waiting or postponing your reaction does not imply that you are a passive parent or that you approve of disrespect.
It implies you’re waiting for your brain and your childrens brain to settle down.
When you’re ready to speak, you might begin by saying, “It appears that you were angry about leaving the playdate earlier.” Can we come up with another method to tell me how you feel?”
You can even respond to some of the comments, such as, “I heard you say something about snacks in your lunch.” Is this something you want to discuss right now?”
You, too, have emotions! It is OK to communicate your feelings and to let your kid know how their comments impact you. Keep the focus on how it felt to you rather than pointing the finger back at your child. “I was offended when you stated I was the meanest mother ever.”
It’s okay to acknowledge that you’ve lost your cool and said venomous remarks in the heat of the moment. You are not perfect, and it is beneficial for your children to know that you are working on soothing abilities as well. Work on apologizing and moving on from this learning situation.
Raising Respectful Kids
As children grow and their brains develop, it is the job of parents to teach them appropriate ways to speak, act, and behave in order to satisfy their requirements that do not involve the strategies that worked for them as babies.
We establish essential values like compassion, thoughtfulness, honesty, empathy, and appreciation when we educate and model respectful behaviour.
While you may have a strong foundation in manners and behaviour when you first start out, it’s easy for kids to get off course when they’re in a crowd. Fortunately, with a little help from Mom and Dad, getting back on track is just as simple.
For more information on teaching children to respect visit: 8 Incredibly Effective Ways to Teach Children Respect and Politeness
What You Should Do Next:
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- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)
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