8 Effective Ways to Be a Good Mother While Ditching Perfectionism

Remarkable ways you’re mastering motherhood, even though you may feel dragged down by the daily responsibilities of mom life. Let’s take mom life into autopilot mode so we can all enjoy motherhood. 

Perfectionism has a sneaky way of creeping into our lives, especially as moms. We want the best for our children, so it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that “the best” means being perfect. But the truth is, perfectionism can rob us of joy, connection, and sanity. I learned this the hard way…

One Sunday afternoon, I found myself frantically scrubbing crayon marks off the living room wall while my kids were laughing in the next room. Instead of enjoying that sweet sound, I was consumed by thoughts of keeping everything “just right.”

As the stress built, I realized I was missing the most important part—being present with my kids. It hit me like a ton of bricks: my kids don’t need a perfect mom; they need a happy one.

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If You Wonder “Am I A Good Mom?” Here Are 8 Things All Good Moms Do

1. Embrace Imperfect Moments

Life with kids is messy—literally and figuratively. Instead of striving for a spotless house or perfectly behaved children, embrace the chaos.

Crayon marks on the wall? They’ll make great memories later. A lightweight cordless vacuum can help you keep things manageable without stressing over every crumb. It’s about progress, not perfection.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

You can’t do it all, and that’s okay. Lowering the bar on things that don’t matter as much (like perfectly folded laundry) gives you more energy for what does. Sometimes I throw in the towel and toss the clean clothes straight into a foldable laundry basket. Done is better than perfect!

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup. A 10-minute break with a cup of tea or using a relaxing essential oil diffuser can make a world of difference. Make it a point to schedule small moments for yourself, even if it’s just locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes of quiet.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easy to get caught up in what’s going wrong, but practicing gratitude helps shift your mindset. Each night before bed, I jot down three things I’m grateful for in a simple gratitude journal. It helps me focus on the beauty of the imperfect, messy moments in motherhood.

5. Be Present

The dishes can wait. Your kids won’t remember a spotless kitchen, but they will remember those moments you spend reading or playing with them. One of the best decisions I made was investing in a comfy, oversized bean bag for the family room. It’s our go-to spot for storytime or just relaxing together.

6. Get Help When You Need It

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Whether it’s asking your partner to take over bedtime duty or hiring a cleaning service once a month, getting help is a game changer. Letting go of control can be tough, but it’s necessary for your well-being.

7. Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up over the time you snapped at your child or missed an important event, offer yourself grace. Parenting is tough, and we’re all doing the best we can. Treat yourself to a relaxing bath with luxurious bath salts and let the guilt wash away.

8. Let Go of Comparison

It’s so easy to compare ourselves to the picture-perfect moms we see on Instagram, but remember, you’re seeing only the highlight reel. Every mom struggles. A great way to ground yourself is by setting up a cozy nook with a comfortable armchair and taking time to reflect on your own parenting journey. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.

Bottom Line

Letting go of perfectionism is a journey, not a destination. Every day, I remind myself that being a good mother isn’t about doing everything perfectly; it’s about showing up for my kids with love and patience—and that’s more than enough.

By embracing imperfection, you’ll find more joy in motherhood and create beautiful memories with your children. And remember, it’s okay to laugh at the crayon marks on the wall. They’re part of your story.