How To Strengthen The Parent-Child Relationship
Table of Contents
A tight and healthy parent-child relationship is an important element of parenting. Despite its value, cultivating a healthy connection is rarely the primary focus of daily life. Learn why your relationship with your child is vital and how to successfully strengthen it.
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Why Is A Parent-Child Relationship Important
A good parent-child connection is essential because it has a direct impact on a childrens physical, emotional, social, and attachment development, which influences the childrens future personality, behaviour, relationship, and life choices.
In other words, a parent-child connection lays the groundwork for a childrens future success. According to a Harvard University research, the best predictor of a childrens future success is a loving parental relationship.
There are several advantages to having a great relationship with your child. These benefits lead to future child achievement in the following ways.
Secure Attachment
A stable connection in the kid is fostered through a healthy parent-child relationship. Psychologists have discovered that securely connected relationships are the ideal form of connection since they are related with a variety of good outcomes.
Children that have a strong attachment to their parents are more resilient. They endure in the face of adversity. They have fewer behavioural issues, have stronger self-esteem, and perform better academically.
Social-Emotional Regulation
Interactions in a childrens early infancy lay the basis for his or her social development.
A childrens emotional development is also influenced by a healthy connection and home environment. Children learn to self-regulate by observing and imitating their parents.
Mental Health
The parent-child connection is significantly linked to a childrens mental health. Researchers discovered that a bad internet connection is a risk factor for developing depressive symptoms.
Self Motivation
Humans’ relationships with others are important intrinsic motivators. 4. A child is more organically driven to participate in an activity appreciated by individuals with whom they have a strong bond. Parents that have a close relationship with their children can successfully influence them and help them achieve.
Relationships
The kid’s ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood is influenced by the attachment type he or she develops as a child. Positive connections serve as internal working models for children, helping them to acquire competent social abilities.
Spending Time Together Doesn’t Always Work
This suggestion might be useful if the parent already had a good relationship with the child and wanted to strengthen it. You’re probably not seeking for that kind of advice because your relationship isn’t exactly perfect yet.
Here’s why this type of advice is ineffective.
If a relationship were a bottle of water, following such advice would be like continuing to pour water into it while ignoring the large leaking hole at the bottom. You will not be able to fill the bottle no matter how much you pour in until you first repair the hole.
That is, spending more time together without addressing the root of the relationship’s tension is pointless.
Parent-Child Relationship Problems
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and yet difficult occupations. Family life could be demanding. It’s no wonder that when it comes to schoolwork, grades, household duties, and punishment (fear conditioning), good parent-child relationships are sometimes put on the back burner.
Many parents unintentionally spend more time destroying their relationships than they do developing them.
When issues grow too huge to ignore, anxious parents seek help from strangers on the Internet. When they are unable to get outcomes with useless counsel, they believe there is something wrong with their children.
How To Strengthen The Parent-Child Relationship
While younger children are more concerned with how much time you can spend with them, older children do not believe that more time equals closer relationships.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time connecting with your children. Children require quality time, not simply time together. Select quality above quantity. To extend the analogy, it is preferable to fix your relationship bottle before gradually filling it with clean water rather than flooding it with undrinkable water.
So, in order to enhance the bond…
Repair
Repair the leak in your relationship bottle!
Most likely, nothing is wrong with your child. If you have disagreements with your child over practically everything, it implies you don’t have a discipline problem… You have an issue with your connection.
Repairing a relationship entails the following steps:
Begin with the most serious conflict.
Consider whether being correct in this disagreement is truly essential to you.
Then consider if you will care more about winning this battle or your connection with your child in 30 years.
Discuss your decision in #3 with your kid, as well as other options.
Repeat #1-4 for each dispute on your list.
Use Quality Time
Here are some of the important characteristics that psychologists have discovered will enhance your relationship with your child.
Parent in a Responsive and Warm Manner
A responsive and loving parenting style can aid in the development of a stable bond in your child. Being sensitive entails attending to your childrens emotional needs. One of the most effective methods to accomplish this is to be aware of and recognise your childrens feelings when they are dysregulated.
Invest in QUALITY. Spending Time Together
Spending quality time with your child does not imply engaging in additional educational activities. It entails paying close attention to your childrens requirements. Keep an open mind.
If done correctly, resolving disputes may turn into quality time. When there are disagreements, many parents bulldoze over it, skip over it, or try to sweep it under the rug so they can get back to “spending time together.”
Quality does not imply the presence of just pleasant feelings. Helping your child build emotional control skills during tantrums, teaching them gently how to disagree respectfully, and promoting problem resolution rather than simply saying no are all examples of quality time well spent.
Employ Positive Discipline
Punishment is the most typical way to damage your relationship with your child. Discipline implies to teach rather than to punish. It is not necessary to punish in order to teach. Using positive parenting (like inductive discipline)to discipline can help to build your relationship. 6.
Being optimistic does not imply being lenient. You still make and enforce sensible regulations. When your child violates your guidelines, though, you do not become harsh or punishing. Positive discipline entails educating, leading, and disciplining your kid in a gentle and strong manner. Children as early as one year old can benefit from loving and positive discipline.
Relationships are built on respect. Relationships are destroyed by a lack of respect.
Respect is essential in every healthy relationship. There are no exceptions to this rule when it comes to parent-child relationships. Respecting a child entails acknowledging that they, too, are persons. They have their own set of wants, requirements, and preferences. They could be a bit naive since they still have a lot to learn, but we should not treat them any differently as a result.
Provide Autonomous Assistance
Apart from fundamental human necessities like as food and safety, the next most essential intrinsic human need is autonomy.
When given the opportunity to select and decide on their own activities, humans thrive. Allowing our children to behave autonomously on non-safety or health-related issues is a big incentive booster. Being a domineering parent not only demotivates your child but also harms your connection with them.
Allow Free and Open Communication
To establish trust, speak to your child rather than at him or her. Make a point of listening to things that worry them, even if they make you sad.
Some parents believe that children who provide negative feedback or express their worries are acting out. However, if you can model how to accept critique with grace, your child will learn to do so when you offer them feedback. Allowing your child to speak up increases their self-esteem. Learning language skills is an extra benefit to developing new communication habits.
Unconditional Love for Them
The most valuable gift you can offer your child is unconditional love. Unconditional implies you love someone even when you detest their behaviour, such as not finishing their schoolwork, being upset when they fail the exam, or being irritated when they don’t do their duties. None of them are more essential than the relationship that exists between parents and their children.
Having a close relationship with their child is a dream that many parents have but few pursue. We are too preoccupied with day-to-day concerns, and we frequently lose sight of what is most essential in life: our families. It is difficult to shift our emphasis from utilising shortcut parenting tricks to creating a long-lasting relationship with our children, but it is well worth it.
References
- 1.Vaillant G. TRIUMPHS OF EXPERIENCE: THE MEN OF THE HARVARD GRANT STUDY. Harvard University Press; 2012.
- 2.Greenberg MT, Siegel JM, Leitch CJ. The nature and importance of attachment relationships to parents and peers during adolescence. J Youth Adolescence. Published online October 1983:373-386. doi:10.1007/bf02088721
- 3.Branje S, Hale W, Frijns T, Meeus W. Longitudinal associations between perceived parent-child relationship quality and depressive symptoms in adolescence. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2010;38(6):751-763. doi:10.1007/s10802-010-9401-6
- 4.Ryan RM, Powelson CL. Autonomy and Relatedness as Fundamental to Motivation and Education. The Journal of Experimental Education. Published online September 1991:49-66. doi:10.1080/00220973.1991.10806579
- 5.Ryan RM, Brown KW, Creswell JD. How Integrative is Attachment Theory? Unpacking the Meaning and Significance of Felt Security. Psychological Inquiry. Published online August 13, 2007:177-182. doi:10.1080/10478400701512778
- 6.McKee L, Roland E, Coffelt N, et al. Harsh Discipline and Child Problem Behaviors: The Roles of Positive Parenting and Gender. J Fam Viol. Published online April 20, 2007:187-196. doi:10.1007/s10896-007-9070-6
- 7.Cullaty B. The Role of Parental Involvement in the Autonomy Development of Traditional-Age College Students. Journal of College Student Development. Published online 2011:425-439. doi:10.1353/csd.2011.0048
