Parents in helicopters hover and parents in lawnmowers eliminate impediments. But it’s time to make room for the “yes parents,” who approach parenting in a completely different way. The yes parenting movement advocates for parents who do not believe in telling their children any. Instead, some parents go to tremendous pains to listen to their children’s wishes and then make it a reality.
So, the answer is yes if their child wants to jump on the couch. The answer is yes if their child refuses to attend school. The answer is yes if their child wants to stay up late playing Xbox. The answer is yes if their child wants to shred their comforter to discover what’s inside.
Essentially, “yes parents” try to agree to all of their children’s demands. There is no request that is too bizarre or out of the ordinary. Even when these parents need to say no to set boundaries or keep their children safe, they find a way to rephrase the statement or redirect their children to avoid speaking the word no.
The overall purpose of “Yes Parenting” is for parents to do all possible to teach their children that they are capable human beings. They don’t want their children to be afraid of attempting new things or making mistakes; they want them to understand that making mistakes is natural and good. They want them to have complete freedom to investigate the world around them.
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What Is Yes Parenting
The concept of “Yes Parenting” arose from the belief that parents say no far too often. According to studies, parents say no more than 400 times every day on average. Saying no too often also stifles children’s natural desire to explore the world around them. However, while the original intention was to say yes more often, the “Yes Parenting” movement has pushed permissive parenting to a whole new level.
Parents who believe in “yes parenting” feel that they should rarely say no to their children. Allowing young children to do their own thing, they believe, fosters independence and the ability to think for themselves.
Indeed, some parents have compared “yes parenting” to weightlifting or gymnastics spotters. They want to give their children the freedom to make their own decisions and to understand the repercussions of those decisions without endangering themselves or others.
Furthermore, “yes parents” understand that children under the age of three do not understand the meaning of the word “no” in the same way that adults do. Little children, for example, do not fully comprehend why they should not do something. They just know that if they do, they will be met with hostility. This is why many toddlers will do something you have said no to while smiling and looking at you.
As their children grow older, “yes parents” talk to them about what might happen in advance, then address what happened and how they might do things better next time. Finally, they hope that when their children are faced with peer pressure in the future, they will have the confidence to make their own decisions because they have done so throughout their lives.
The Upsides Of Yes Parenting
Life is never boring when it comes to “Yes Parenting.” This sort of parenting is generally found to make life more Life is never boring when it comes to “Yes Parenting.” This sort of parenting is generally found to make life more engaging and enjoyable for both parents and children. If there was ever a way to enjoy life to the fullest, “yes parents” are hopeful that this is it. Here’s a rundown of the advantages of “Yes Parenting.”
Yes Parenting Empowers Kids
When children have “yes parents,” they are unrestricted in their exploration of the world around them. They learn how to overcome hurdles, express their creativity, and investigate how things function. Children raised by “yes parents” never get bored. Because they are not put in a box or compelled to obey a huge list of regulations, there is always something they can accomplish. As a result, their inherent curiosity and inventiveness blossom.
Yes Parenting Liberates Parents
“Yes parenting” is freeing for many parents. They are able to let go of many self-imposed standards about how their homes should be decorated, how often chores should be completed, and when bedtimes should be observed. Additionally, people who practise this parenting approach say they learn more about their children and how their minds work as a result of it.
A “yes parent,” for example, invites children to get messy and think outside the box. So, even though it’s raining outside, they agree to set up a lemonade stand. They let their kids fingerpaint and scatter glitter all over the home despite having just cleaned it, and they say yes when toddlers want to pour their own milk despite knowing it will end up on the floor.
When their children refuse to go to bed, “yes parents” may say yes, allowing them to stay up as long as they wish. They may also agree to dessert before dinner and would never force their child to do something he or she does not want to do.
Yes Parenting Strengthens Family Bonds
Families who practise “yes parenting” know that their time with their children is limited and that having fun is essential. After all, it’s a lot more fun to say yes than it is to say no. So they say yes to stomping in mud puddles, going to the park or the zoo on the spur of the moment, and maybe even coloring on the walls. And they frequently do these activities with their children, which only serves to strengthen their bond and bring them closer together.
The Pitfalls Of Yes Parenting
But where do these parents draw the line when it comes to their children? Would they agree if their child refused to hold their hand in a crowded parking lot? Would they agree if their three-year-old refused to sit in the car seat? When it comes to knowing when to say no to a child’s desires and demands, the parenting approach comes under scrutiny.
Yes Parenting Fails At Limits
When a parenting style becomes severe, it can become a highly unhealthy kind of parenting, just like any other. After all, children, particularly young children, require boundaries in order to be safe. It is not responsible for parenting to say yes to everything, including activities that may put them in danger. It’s also a lot less difficult than saying no, and it spares parents the embarrassment of being the bad guy.
For example, one “yes mom” claims to have discovered her child cutting through a cable in the house. She merely offered him additional stuff to chop instead of explaining why this is harmful. On one hand, it’s wonderful that she spotted his desire to cut things, but he never learnt that cutting through cables in the hoist is dangerous.
Yes Parenting Can Result In Self-Centered Kids
It is also important for children to understand that the world does not revolve around them. It is natural that they will not always get their way in life. It’s also beneficial for children to learn to accept that some options are not good. Will kids are able to say no when they get intrigued about vaping or juuling, or will they give in to their urges as they have been allowed to do their entire lives?
Will they be able to accept their partner’s refusal to do something on a date when they’re in their teen years? They’ll also be stumped if they don’t make a sports team, get into their dream college, or land the job they want. “Yes, Parenting” has the ability to produce positive results.
Yes Parenting Damages Resillience
If children never hear no from their parents, they will never learn to deal with rejection with tenacity and determination. Similarly, children will be at a loss for words when their teachers inform them they are not allowed to do something at school. They’ve never heard the word no, and they’ve never been denied the freedom to do whatever they want. As a result, they may disintegrate the first time they are rejected or told no since they have no concept of how to deal with situations that do not go their way.
Yes Parenting Is Exhausting
Meanwhile, “Yes Parenting” has the potential to exhaust parents, particularly if they find themselves saying yes all of the time when they should be saying no. In essence, “Yes Parenting” makes parents into people-pleasers since they are frequently forced to sacrifice their own desires or needs in order to say yes to their children.
It is not rude to say no to children, according to pediatricians. In fact, it can be really beneficial. If children do not learn good boundaries at home, it may be difficult for them to do so at school or later in life. They warn that someone will say no at some point, and these children will have no idea how to respond.
What Is Permissive Parenting
Permissive parenting is a parenting style that combines low expectations with strong responsiveness. Permissive parents are usually very caring, but they don’t set many limits or regulations. These parents don’t expect their children to be mature, and they often appear to be more of a friend than a parent.
The so-called “helicopter parents” are the polar opposite of these parents. Permissive parents are highly loose and rarely develop or enforce any form of rules or structure, rather than hanging over their children’s every move. “Kids will be kids,” is frequently their credo. While they are usually warm and caring, they rarely try to manage or reprimand their children.
Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, identified three distinct parenting styles based on her studies with preschool-aged children. Researchers would go on to explore the various parenting styles in the years to come, even adding a fourth. Permissive parenting was one of Baumrind’s first parenting approaches to be described.
Indulgent parenting is another term for permissive parenting. Parents that adopt this parenting style place fewer demands on their children. Discipline is rare because these parents have minimal expectations for self-control and maturity.
Permissive parents, according to Baumrind, “They are more receptive than demanding. They are unconventional and lenient, requiring no adult behavior, allowing for a great deal of self-control, and avoiding confrontation.”
What You Should Do Next:
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- Raising Good Humans With Dr. Aliza
- Parenting Beyond Discipline
- Mindful Parenting in a Messy World
3. Dive Into These Gentle Parenting Websites
- Janet Lansbury “Respectful Parenting Basics”
- Sara Rockwell-Smith “Gentle Parenting Book”
- No Reward, No Punishment
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- Gentle Parenting Myth
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6. Read Some Of My Favorite Blog Posts From Other Gentle Parenting Professionals
- How to get others on board with GP (grandparents, family, providers)
- MANAGING TODDLER TANTRUMS
- PREVENTING A GROWN UP MELTDOWN
- Why do we call it a TANTRUM? IT’S A FEELING
- TIME-IN (NOT TIME OUT)
- What to do: biting, hitting, pushing, throwing
- Punishment Vs. Natural Consequence
- REWARDS: WHY THEY DON’T WORK.
- ITS OKAY NOT TO SHARE
- HOW TO STOP YELLING AT KIDS
- GP for Newborns & young babies
- Parenting Differences among peers/providers
- Does your spouse parent differently?
- Prefrontal Cortex – YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN IS NOT DEVELOPED ENOUGH
“GENTLE PARENTING IS A LIFESTYLE THAT EMBRACES BOTH YOUR PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR, NOT ONLY TOWARDS YOUR CHILDREN, BUT TO YOURSELF TOO“— SARA HOCKWELL-SMITH
- Power TG. Parenting dimensions and styles: a brief history and recommendations for future research. Childhood Obesity. 2013;9(s1):S-14-S-21. doi:10.1089/chi.2013.0034
- Baumrind D. Authoritative parenting revisited: History and current status. In: Larzelere RE, Morris AS, Harrist AW, eds. Authoritative Parenting: Synthesizing Nurturance and Discipline for Optimal Child Development. American Psychological Association; 2013:11-34. doi:10.1037/13948-002
- Dalimonte-Merckling D, Williams JM. Parenting styles and their effects. In: Encyclopedia of Infant and Early Childhood Development. Elsevier; 2020:470-480. doi:10.1016/B978-0-12-809324-5.23611-0
- Masud S, Mufarrih SH, Qureshi NQ, Khan F, Khan S, Khan MN. Academic performance in adolescent students: the role of parenting styles and socio-demographic factors – a cross sectional study from peshawar, pakistan. Front Psychol. 2019;10:2497. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02497
- Berge J, Sundell K, Öjehagen A, Håkansson A. Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study. BMJ Open. 2016;6(1):e008979. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2015-008979
- Ehrenreich SE, Beron KJ, Brinkley DY, Underwood MK. Family predictors of continuity and change in social and physical aggression from ages 9 to 18: family predictors of aggression trajectories. Aggr Behav. 2014;40(5):421-439. doi:10.1002/ab.21535
- Howe AS, Heath A-LM, Lawrence J, et al. Parenting style and family type, but not child temperament, are associated with television viewing time in children at two years of age. Reed P, ed. PLoS ONE. 2017;12(12):e0188558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0188558
- Bahr SJ, Hoffmann JP. Parenting style, religiosity, peers, and adolescent heavy drinking. J Stud Alcohol Drugs. 2010;71(4):539-543. doi:10.15288/jsad.2010.71.539