Good Kid Vs. Bad Kid: Sibling Rivalry
It’s vital to remember that sibling rivalry is a natural part of childhood development. Children compete with one another for the praise and affection of their parents. Adult children, in fact, can still compete for their parent’s attention. One of our responsibilities as parents is to educate our children on how to get along with their siblings. After all, we want them to be able to maintain a happy relationship as adults.
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How To Cut Down On Sibling Rivalry At Home
Don’t Choose Favorites
Rather of judging who is “right” and who is “wrong,” parents should train their children on how to handle the problem of getting along with one another during sibling disagreements. Choosing between your children just adds to the conflict.
If a child approaches you with a complaint about another, teach them how to resolve the issue on their own. If a child complains that their sibling will not get off the computer, advise that they return to their sibling and make a request rather than a demand. “I have a particular project that will take around two hours to complete. “Can we figure out when I’ll be able to use the computer?”
Make no judgments on who is correct or incorrect. Remember, according to The Total Transformation Program, we don’t have to go to every debate we’re asked to. This might involve being invited to participate in a sibling fight. Instead, encourage your children to learn to compromise, be fair, and take turns. Create family structures for sharing. Using kitchen timers or days with odd and even numbers might assist in taking turns. Also, educate childrens how to relax and unwind as they wait for their turn, such as deep breathing, reading a book, or exercising.
Don’t Label A Child Good or Bad
Be cautious about assigning responsibilities to your children. Make sure that one child does not play the part of the “bad kid” while the other plays the role of the “good kid.” There is no such thing as an all-good or all-bad child. The “bad kid” is extremely likely to feel envious of the “good kid’s” parental approval. This gets the best of him at times, and he assaults the child whom the parents consider to be the “good” one. It is sometimes an unprovoked attack, although it is generally not. Almost everyone participating in a dispute has some blame.
The risk of identifying a child as a “bad kid” is that they will stop attempting to do anything good since they will constantly be blamed for any issues among their siblings. This gives the “good kid” a lot of satisfaction as well as parental reinforcement for their “good kid” position. Sometimes the “bad kid” is the child who is the most emotionally honest. That’s why, during a disagreement, it’s crucial to encourage your children to find a way to work together rather than deciding who’s right or wrong.
Put A Stop To Teasing
Teasing is another typical issue among siblings. Help children cope with teasing by training them to ignore it, ‘kid back,’ or agree with it in a lighthearted way: When one of your siblings exclaims, “You stink!” “Thank you,” they can respond. That’s exactly what I was aiming for.” So, once again, it’s best to urge your children to figure things out between themselves, and if they can’t, ask that both children Stop the Show (See The Total Transformation, Lesson 4) and take a break until they can continue engaging with one another in a satisfactory manner. If the dispute becomes violent or the kids’ fighting gets out of hand, separate them until they’re both calm.
hen the younger children misbehave, the “bad kid” is also blamed. It is critical to cultivating a “Culture of Accountability” in our families, as James Lehman states in the Total Transformation Program. Teach your children that they are responsible for their own actions, not those of an older sibling.
Don’t Ignore The Well Behaved Child
It’s also difficult to always be the “good child.” Make sure that the child who is doing well is not overlooked. Remember that when habits go unnoticed, they get worse, but when they get noticed, they get better. As a result, pay close attention to positive behaviour.
You are the most powerful role model for your children. Spend time as a family having pleasure. Try to have supper with your family without watching TV. You may Role Model pleasant methods to spend time with your family like watching a movie, playing catch, or playing a board game. As parents show kids how to handle a conflict amicably.
Each Child Is Unique
Finally, sibling rivalry is about vying for parental favour and attention. Reduce competition by treating each child as a person and offering them your undivided time and respect. Ascertain that each parent spends time alone with each kid, doing something the child loves. Some parents schedule a monthly “date” with each of their children. Remember that telling your child why you love them, what makes them unique in your eyes, and why they are precious to you is one of the greatest methods to fight sibling rivalry.
What You Should Do Next:
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