Parenting
Help Your Child Stop Swearing At Home

Help Your Child Stop Swearing At Home

Our society is rife with swearing. However, as parents, you have the power to choose the culture of your house, and I advise all parents to foster a culture of respect and non-swearing.

For the purpose of a calm and respectful home, establish this culture. However, keep in mind that childrens who know how to act and talk politely are better prepared to interact with adults than those who choose to sound like gangsters.

Also, be aware of the distinction between cursing and verbal abuse.

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Stop The Swearing At Home

The dialogue below plays out in countless homes each night—we know because we hear from these parents all the time:

Parent: “Why didn’t you do your homework?”
Child: “I hate f—— school. I hate my f—— teacher.”
Parent: “Don’t talk to me like that!”
Child: “Why not? You swear, too.”

You must pause the show if this occurs. To put it another way, stop the conversation right now. Instead of finishing his homework, your child is seeking to draw you into a fight—a power struggle. Avoid being sucked into the power battle. Instead, decline the offer to debate and just state:

“This isn’t about me,” says the speaker. Why haven’t you completed your homework? That is my query. And you’re not going to use your phone until you’ve finished your homework.”

After that, turn around and leave. Don’t argue about it. Don’t squabble.

If your child replies, “I don’t care,” you might respond, “I don’t care.”

“OK. It’s OK if you don’t care. But you’re not allowed to use your phone until you do your homework.”

Don’t fight any longer. When your child has calmed down, provide punishment (fear conditioning) for cursing.

Set Limits

Families, in my opinion, should have explicit norms about cursing. When it occurs, there should be no debate about it. The regulations must also be understood by the children.

Frequently, children curse because they are irritated or angry over being forced to perform something difficult or uninteresting. Perhaps they’d rather spend their time playing video games or socializing with their pals.

Swearing is an immature and unproductive method for them to express their displeasure. When things have calmed down, childrens should be taught that swearing will not fix the situation. In fact, it aggravates the situation. They still have their original problem when they swear, but now they have an additional consequence to cope with.

Keep in mind that there is a significant distinction between children cursing in general and children cursing towards you or another family member. Cursing at someone constitutes verbal abuse, and it will be dealt with much more brutally if children do not grasp the difference.

When Swearing Becomes Verbal Abuse

In the home, parents must create a zero-tolerance policy for verbal abuse. Because it is an attack on a person, verbal abuse differs from swearing. When someone curses, they use an expletive to describe a situation or their own displeasure.

So, in the preceding scenario, the child is cursing: “I despise my f—— teacher.”

It would be verbal abuse if the child had replied, “F— you, Mom, it’s none of your concern.”

And there is no justification for any type of abuse. It is a type of abuse when children curse at their parents and siblings and call them names that are very unpleasant. And it’s not only annoying; it’s also harmful.

This type of behaviour must be dealt with harshly. If your child has been grounded for 24 hours as a result of his behaviour and is active in sports, make him miss his practice or even his game as a result of his activities. Allow no one to mislead you by claiming that they “need to be there.”

The most essential thing is that children realize that abuse is never acceptable. As a parent, I assure you that missing one game is not the end of the world. More essential than a drill or a game is learning respect and safeguarding your fellow children.

If your child does not participate in sports, have him give up his electronics. You might say something like this:

“You won’t be able to get your phone back unless you haven’t called your sister such names in the last 24 hours.”

If your child curses his sister again six hours later, you’ll be without the phone for 48 hours. He also needs to go to his room and compose an apologetic letter to make apologies. When I say “letter,” I’m referring to a single paragraph. And here is what the letter should say:

“The next time I want to call you a name, I’ll do it like this.”

It should contain an apology, but more importantly, a promise that he will not repeat the mistake.

When Your Smaller Kids Swear

I’ll state the obvious: if you don’t want your children to curse in front of you, don’t curse in front of them. Early on, we see that children imitate their parents by uttering words they don’t comprehend. In that scenario, the greatest thing a parent can do is calmly correct their younger children. Teach them that the term they used was a terrible one. You might say something like this:

“People dislike that word, thus it’s a negative word.”

If your child responds, “But you use that term,” you might respond, “But you use that word.”

“When I say ‘no,’ you say ‘no.’ Also, tell Mommy. Remind me that it’s a derogatory term.”

When they remind you, apologize and thank them for bringing it up.

Create Consequence For Swearing – For All Family Members

A “cursing jar” can be established for older children. If a member of your family curses, they must deposit a dollar in the jar. If money isn’t easily available, a checkbox next to your childrens name can be used instead, and each check might equal 10 minutes of extra work or duty.

It should not be a punishment (fear conditioning) if they do their normal tasks. As a result, there should be more things to do. Consider this: if you have your child clean the dishes after he has sworn, and then ask him to do them again the next night, he will question, “Why?” I didn’t make any mistakes.”

When all you want is for him to complete his usual tasks around the house, he’ll feel like he’s being punished. So you’ve decided to add an extra duty to compensate for your profanity. I believe that the sooner you punish someone after they’ve cursed, the better.

It’s also helpful to establish an age-appropriate nighttime plan and structure that specifies how much time your children may spend on video games, computers, and other devices. If your child finishes his schoolwork, he is entitled to one hour of screen time. If he swears, however, the extra job you assign to him will be completed during the video game hour, and he will forfeit some or all of that time. The important thing to note here is that the extra job is done during his spare time, not during his working hours.

This strategy should be set up ahead of time so that when your kid relaxes and asks for her phone back, you may say:

“You’re well aware of the repercussions of swearing and calling people names.”

For Kids Who Swear Silently

Some kids make obscene gestures with their mouths. But, let’s face it, even if it’s said under their breath, it’s still the same thing, and you should punish your child.

“I didn’t say anything,” they may claim. That’s not right!” You can respond with:

“I’m sorry, but I overheard you say that. If you don’t speak up more often in the future, there will be consequences.”

In other words, don’t allow him to manipulate you by whispering swear words under his breath so he doesn’t have to acquire self-control.

Model

Parents must be highly conscious of their language and serve as role models for their children. If parents do not serve as role models, our culture will. Swearing and rudeness are glorified far too much in our culture.

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