Want To Make Your Children Hate School? Then Don’t Do This

This post may contain affiliate links. Full privacy policy and disclosure here.

Did you know that pressuring your children to get good grades can actually be causing them to have lower grades and lower self esteem?! There’s a lot of science behind it, let me explain.

There’s nothing better than seeing the excitement on a child’s face when they get to go to school. What’s not so great is having to deal with them coming home upset and sad because they got a bad grade or because they were pressured into trying something that didn’t work out in their favor.

This is especially true if you’re a parent who wants to see your children have dreams and goals, but doesn’t want them to feel like those dreams are being crushed by poor grades or lack of confidence. In this article, I’ll cover how you can make sure your children love going to school without having any negative feelings about it!

Children Dream

As a parent, you probably want your children to do well in school. I know I do. But you might also want them to love learning and have dreams of their own rather than just focused on academic achievement.

Children dream about what they want to be when they grow up, who they want to marry, and where they’re going on vacation. These dreams help them develop their self-identity, which is integral for healthy development (and it doesn’t hurt that great grades can come from having good self-esteem).

When we focus solely on academics or extracurricular activities without encouraging our kids’ inner lives–the part of them where their dreams reside–we are robbing children of this important part of being human.

When we don’t teach kids how to dream big, we set them up for failure before they even start school by telling them that there’s only one way success is measured: good grades

Dreaming Is Inherent To Humans

Dreaming is an inherent part of the human condition. It’s not just for children—we’re all dreaming, even when we sleep (and even when we think we’re awake). This is a natural way for humans to learn and grow, but it’s also an important part of the creative process.

Dreaming gives us the freedom to explore new possibilities while still keeping us grounded in reality. Dreaming allows us to imagine things that are impossible or improbable at first glance, but once you take into account everything you know about yourself and your surroundings, it becomes possible—or at least plausible—that something like this might happen someday in the future!

Pressure on Children Kills Dreams

Parenting is hard, but we can all agree that the best way for children to learn how to deal with pressure and stress is by being exposed to it early on. Whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, here are a few ways you can help them realize that success isn’t just about grades:

  • Encourage their dreams.
  • Don’t put too much pressure on them if they don’t achieve their goals immediately.
  • Be flexible when helping them find alternatives if they aren’t able to do something they want because of fear or anxiety around failure.”

Pressure on Children Kills the Learning Process

Do you want to make your children hate school? If so, then don’t pressure them.

It’s a simple fact that pressure on children kills the learning process. When kids feel as though they’re being pushed too hard and that they need to perform at a certain level, they become less likely to ask questions or take risks (which are two of the most important things that help us learn). They also grow more likely to cheat and lie because those are easier than working hard at something.

Pressure on Children Kills Self-Identity

There’s no doubt about it: pressure on children kills their self-identity.

Pressure on children makes them feel like they are not good enough. They don’t feel like they are worthy or accepted, and this can lead to depression and anxiety later in life. This can also lead to problems with identity formation, which is the process by which we come to understand ourselves as individuals.

The Long Term Consequences of Pressuring Grades

One of the worst parts about being a kid is that we don’t know what we want to do yet. But what if you could help them figure it out?

One of the best ways to do this, according to Dr. Pauline Rose Clance, is by not pressuring your kids into getting good grades in school. When they’re forced to learn things they don’t care about or aren’t interested in, they’ll end up feeling anxious and depressed over their work.

This can lead them down a path where they feel like failures who aren’t good enough at anything (even if they are). In addition, these children may struggle with low self esteem because no matter how hard you try and give them confidence through praise for their efforts, their mind will always tell them otherwise:

“I’m not smart enough… I failed this test… why am I so stupid?” These thoughts can become ingrained and cause lasting damage to your child’s psyche!


The most important thing in life is learning, and children should be allowed to learn at their own pace.

Children are different from each other, and as parents or teachers, we need to respect that. If a child wants to learn about something else other than what we think they should be learning, then let them pursue it!

In the end, all that matters is that your child becomes an independent person who can take care of themselves without any help from you or anyone else.


I hope that you’ve learned something new about school pressure and how it affects the learning process. If so, please share this article with your friends and family. You can also share it on social media to help spread the word.

You may also like...