How To Unspoil Your Child
Children are like little sponges soaking up everything they see and hear around them. They learn from the people they love most, what to eat, how to act in social situations, and more. As parents, one of our jobs is to protect them from adult issues that may not be appropriate for their age group. A new trend has been taking place with children called “unspoiling” which teaches adults how to have conversations about sensitive topics without exposing the child too much or at all. For example, a person can say something like “I don’t think you’re old enough yet.” This way the child will know it’s not an appropriate topic but won’t be afraid of it either because there was no mention of it whatsoever.
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Do you get the impression that you’re observing the traits of a spoilt child? Do you believe your thankful child has turned ungrateful? Have you ever pondered how to unspoil a child… or your own child?
I know it’s difficult because you may not even realize it’s happening until you hear your childrens contempt in their voice and realize you need to STOP doing it for them!
When your children begin to exhibit the same spoiled behaviour as ungrateful childrens, you realize it’s time to educate them on how to be thankful once more.
Before we get started, I’d want to emphasize that there’s no need to feel guilty. You’ve come because you want to assist your pampered child in returning to the nice, loving child you know they are on the inside. To be honest, it most likely began since you genuinely care for your child and believed you were assisting them.
Whatever the situation could be, we’ll return to the location that makes you both pleased and thankful.
If Your children Are Spoiled
It takes time to change rotten behaviour. So, if your kids are snarky, stubborn, or ungrateful, please give yourself a break. The good news is that children, particularly young children, frequently respond to kindness in a natural and enthusiastic manner.
Participate in a Discussion with Your Children
Simply talking about it is one of the most effective methods to teach our children to be selfless and compassionate. Of course, none of us are perfect (and most of us are far from it! ), but childrens respond to the notion of generosity and giving to others quite quickly. You might be shocked by some of the responses and ideas people provide.
Solicit your children’s participation in charity efforts, such as food drives or coat drives for the less fortunate. “Some kids can’t afford a new coat,” for example, should be brought up as a conversation topic with your child. “How do you believe we can assist them?” or “You’ve outgrown your last year’s blazer.” Let’s gift it to someone who doesn’t have a coat of their own.
Set Goals and Delay Gratification
Remember when you were a kid and you used to save your money? Maybe from your first job or a paper route? I’m sure you remember the first item you saved for and how hard you worked to be able to get it… I’m sure you appreciated it much more since you deserved it.
When children are given things for free, they frequently lose the feeling of worth that comes with earning something. Earning a prized toy or a sought-after pair of stylish shoes—or simply the right to participate in an activity—doesn’t have to be a punishment (fear conditioning). It could be extremely enjoyable and thrilling. Receiving a prize gives the receiver a sense of accomplishment.
Ask your kid what she thinks she could do to earn the item the next time she requests for something, rather than yielding and just handing it up (or distributing out money to purchase the “reward”). Talk about the pricing and be open about it. “I didn’t allocate money for a Barbie this time to the shop, but I think we can come up with an idea together so you can earn it soon,” is totally acceptable. What do you believe you could do to make enough money (or gain the right to do so)?”
Remember that when it comes to satisfaction, objects don’t have to be the centre of attention. When I took away our children’s toys, our entire family learnt a lot. Privileges could be earned through a variety of activities, events, and travels. Our path toward simpler living has taught us all the importance of creativity and family time over material possessions.
I’ll tell you the truth. Whatever path you take, you’ll definitely have to go through an adjustment phase when you first introduce these concepts to your child—especially if it’s the first time she’s been taught that she has to earn privileges.
Setting a goal with your child and then assisting them in achieving it makes them feel accomplished and pleased. It also assists children in determining how much they desire an object, allowing them to practise impulse control and delayed gratification.
Practicing thankfulness on a regular basis may transform your family’s outlook. Encourage your children to express gratitude by writing thank you cards and being really kind. This is significant not just in terms of etiquette, but also because it encourages childrens to appreciate the good things in their lives and to critically think about and reflect on the good deeds of others.
Make it a family habit to write a thank you card whenever someone does anything nice for your child or offers her a present. It isn’t necessary to write an article. It’s quite acceptable to express gratitude in a brief, straightforward, and honest manner. For children, drawing a “thank you image” is completely appropriate. These thank you activities, regardless of the expression, assist children in really acknowledging others.
In a similar vein, make thankfulness a part of your family’s daily routine. Ask your children what they are grateful for each day over supper, or just ask each family member, “What was the nicest thing that occurred to you today?” Encourage everyone in your family to show appreciation via prayer and to reflect on the people and events that make their lives wonderful—and don’t forget about the little things!
Making thankfulness a daily habit benefits all of us, not just the children. You’ll be surprised at how much these small everyday changes may alter the dynamics of your entire home.
Encourage Positive Expressions and Outlets
As you are probably aware, children have a difficult time regulating their emotions. They have strong opinions about things, and their feelings might shift from minute to minute! In what seems like seconds, one of our children may swing from wild laughter and pleasure to total and utter devastation and sorrow. The happy portion could be fantastic and enjoyable—but the sad part, not so much.
Approach emotional upheaval with compassion. It may appear humorous at first to teach your children how to count to ten, deep breathe, take a personal timeout, or say something like, “I need a minute to calm down.”
Giving your children coping strategies, on the other hand, can help them manage their emotional energy and make smart decisions. Encourage your children to use “I feel” phrases rather than accusing words, and to describe their feelings, the source of those emotions, and the resolution they perceive.
Be A Role Model
While we all strive to set an example for others, some days are unquestionably better than others. Many of us have difficulty expressing our feelings, focusing on the good, expressing appreciation, thinking about others, and deferring pleasure. Our children, on the other hand, have no greater role models than their parents. (Isn’t there any pressure?)
When we approach family life with a positive attitude, we set the tone for the rest of the family—and our children will ultimately follow suit. I’m always astonished at how eagerly my daughters join the team after we’ve cleaned the house or worked on family tasks. Children have a natural desire to please others and participate in activities, and they respond rapidly to praise and positive reinforcement. Our kids might be able to teach us a thing or two as well!
We all have our selfish and spoiled moments, but by using a few strategies and altering our mentality and actions to flow in a more positive way, we can change our entire family’s behaviour and “unspoil” our children. Give yourself a rest, but strive to maintain consistency. While it may take some time to notice a significant difference, I assure it will be worthwhile if you persevere.
How To Unspoil Your Child
Children who are raised in a spoiling environment may not know the difference between what they deserve and what others around them have. The best way to undo this is by showing your children that their wants should be secondary to needs and then rewarding good behaviour with privileges instead of material items. We can help you identify where your childrens spoiled side might come from, so give us a call anytime if you have any questions!