Positive Reinforcement phrase Examples For Kids

Powerful ways to say “Good Job” to your child’s great efforts using simple phrases that can become common practice in your home and replace generic praise with specific praise and in turn raise your child’s self-esteem.

A Fine Parent says that parents and instructors could be sought after by younger praise junkies. “Daddy, do you enjoy my singing?” “Did you get a decent shot?” “Did you like my new dance move”?

When they’re older, though, their insatiable desire for acceptance might lead them to seek approval from their friends or their boyfriend/girlfriend, resulting in the sort of entitled, high-maintenance people that most of us don’t want to be around.

We say good job to our children often as parents to congratulate our kids’ accomplishments. Our wonderful kids are always showing us those beautiful creations and sometimes it’s hard to come up with things to say other than good job.

Keep in mind that overpraising is not a good thing and can actually cause negative behaviors. Blanket statements such as ‘good job” increases a child’s reliance on external validation. Saying good job or alternative positive phrases can really help your child with their self esteem.

Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting was one of the best books I read. on this subject matter It’s an eye-opening book about how parents routinely undermine their children’s potential for intrinsic motivation. 

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Why Saying “Good Job” Over and Over Again Is Ineffective

Parenting Coach Nichole Swarz at Imperfect Parenting says that While saying “good work” isn’t a negative thing, it may not help you achieve your objectives.

You might be thinking that I’m a crazy lady who wants parents to stop saying good job to their kids and that’s absolutely not the case. This is a list of alternative phrases that parents can use in place of good job. It does not mean that the phrase good job is a bad phrase to use.

Because good job is such a common phrase as parents we can overuse it very easily.

Here are some examples of how we can overuse the word good job.

• You did such a good job on today’s soccer practice.
• You did such a good job at eating your whole lunch.
• You did a really good job putting your shoes on by yourself.
• That was such a good job putting away all your toys.
• What a good job you did diving off that diving board on your own.

There’s nothing wrong with using good job in your good parenting but when we say good job so often it sort of loses its meaning when we utilize it as an automatic response instead of providing more detailed positive feedback.

Remember that refusing to do a good job doesn’t mean you’re dismissing your children’s achievements; it just means you’re articulating what makes them unique and worthy of celebration.

You’re expressing what makes these good-job-moments so “good.” You’re recognising their work, expressing your gratitude, and providing specific feedback but refraining from passing judgement.

Alternative Ways To Say Good Job To Kids

Get Specific

When praising our children for a job well done it’s always a really good idea to get specific.

By getting specific you’re actually telling your child that you’re paying attention to what they are saying or doing.

Make sure that you are slowing down in your parenting and taking a good look as to what is going on in your household and what your children are trying to show you.

I know it’s so hard to do with all the distractions these days such as our cell phones TV’s computers tablets laptops and every other child in our house that’s demanding our attention plus are never ending to-do list.

But even with all these things that are constantly nagging for your attention it’s a very good idea to slow down and take a look at what your child is showing you and then comment on the specific areas of that thing.

There are some examples of how you can get specific:

• I really like the tone of blue you used for the sky and the different tone of blue you used for the ocean in your drawing.
• Thank you so much for helping your little sister put on her shoes that’s a very nice thing for Big Brother to do.
• I am so thankful that you put your dishes in the dishwasher after dinner today it really helped me cut down on the cleaning time after dinner.

Let Them Know They Did A Great Job By Using “YOU”

Another way you can let your child know that they’ve done a good job on something is by using the word you.

This is a very simple and effective way to let your child know that they’ve got your attention.

Instead of saying great job on the monkey bars you can say I love how much effort you put into swinging on those monkey bars even though it was hard and it might have hurt your hands.

Instead of saying that’s a nice drawing good job. You can say I really love the way your flower has so many different colors you put so much work into this art project.

This is what parenting experts call dynamic praise.

Things To Say Instead Of Good Job

1. General Praise

General praise is essential for reinforcing good behavior, effort, and accomplishments. Here are some phrases that can be used universally:

• “Great job!”
• “I’m so proud of you!”
• “You did it!”
• “Keep up the good work!”
• “You’re amazing!”

2. Effort and Hard Work

Acknowledging a child’s effort and hard work, regardless of the outcome, teaches them the value of perseverance:

• “You worked so hard on that!”
• “I can see you really tried your best.”
• “Your effort really shows!”
• “You didn’t give up, and I’m proud of you.”
• “Hard work pays off, and you’re a great example!”

3. Problem-Solving and Creativity

Encouraging problem-solving skills and creativity helps children develop critical thinking:

• “I love how you thought that through!”
• “What a creative solution you came up with!”
• “You’re so resourceful!”
• “I’m impressed by your creativity.”
• “You found a great way to solve that problem.”

4. Cooperation and Teamwork

Reinforcing positive social behaviors like cooperation and teamwork is crucial for a child’s social development:

• “You’re such a good team player!”
• “Thank you for being so cooperative.”
• “I appreciate how you helped your friend.”
• “You worked really well with others.”
• “Great job sharing and taking turns!”

5. Responsibility and Independence

Encouraging responsibility and independence helps children build confidence and self-reliance:

• “I’m proud of you for doing that by yourself.”
• “You’re becoming so responsible!”
• “Thank you for taking care of that.”
• “You did a great job managing that on your own.”
• “You’re really growing up and becoming more independent.”

6. Good Behavior and Manners

Reinforcing good behavior and manners promotes respect and kindness:

• “Thank you for being so polite.”
• “You showed great manners today.”
• “I noticed how kind you were to others.”
• “You were very respectful, and I appreciate that.”
• “Good job listening and following directions.”

7. Emotional Expression and Empathy

Acknowledging emotional expression and empathy helps children develop emotional intelligence:

• “I’m glad you told me how you feel.”
• “You showed great empathy toward your friend.”
• “Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.”
• “You were very understanding in that situation.”
• “I appreciate your honesty and openness.”

8. Persistence and Resilience

Reinforcing persistence and resilience helps children learn to overcome challenges:

• “You didn’t let that stop you, great job!”
• “You bounced back really well.”
• “I’m proud of your resilience.”
• “You kept going, even when it was tough.”
• “You showed a lot of determination.”

positive reinforcement In Parenting

In the operant conditioning theory of human behaviour, positive reinforcement is one of four forms of reinforcement (see our page on Positive Reinforcement in Psychology) and one of several parenting techniques. Its goal is to encourage a desirable action by rewarding it soon after it occurs, hence raising the possibility of repeat.

Positive reinforcement may be used to encourage desired positive actions, such as your kid brushing her teeth without fuss, or to reward and encourage your child to practise new abilities, such as tying his shoes or loading the dishwasher.