While parents may legally force their children to be obedient and do anything they want, compliance isn’t often accompanied by a feeling of responsibility.
Obedient children do what their parents desire, not what they feel prompted to do inwardly with intrinsic motivation. Children who are responsible develop into young people who take on responsibilities without being asked and require minimal supervision, training, or assistance.
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How To Raise Responsible Kids
So, how can parents instill a feeling of responsibility in their children? And who develops independence and maturity as a result of this?
Here’s one thing I’m certain of when it comes to kids exhibiting responsibility, we can’t expect perfection in an instant, just as we can’t expect perfection in most other aspects of parenting. It takes time to raise responsible children. It’s a long-term process that takes time and requires instruction, patience, and perseverance.
We don’t expect our four-year-old to understand the importance of bathing every day. We can’t expect our ten-year-old to always remember to turn in their math assignment on Monday, just as we can’t expect our ten-year-old to manage their time flawlessly.
To acquire a feeling of personal responsibility, children require coaching and direction. Parents may help their children by cultivating a family culture that gradually enhances children’s responsibilities as they age. Being an autonomous, responsible family member becomes the norm rather than the exception, and that pattern will follow children into adulthood.
You could be thinking, “OK, I’ll be patient and work on it.” But where should I begin? So, what should I do now?
Here are seven ways parents may assist their children in becoming responsible adults:
Allow Them To Help
Fortunately, toddlers and preschoolers like taking on new responsibilities. They enjoy the sense of being “grown-ups” and “helpers.” The more we can instil this trait in our young children, the more they will seek out responsibility as they get older.
Allowing your three-year-old to “fold the laundry” even though it adds ten minutes to your job is an example of this. Alternatively, you could let your five-year-old clean the windows, streaks and all.
The goal is to celebrate the initiative and responsibility that children demonstrate, rather than to be concerned about the outcome. Certain jobs will take some time to master. Patience – as well as encouragement – are essential.
Assigning duties to family members, including children, is an extension of cultivating a culture in which children may exhibit and exercise responsibility.
Sit down as a family once the kids are old enough to help around the house, even if it’s only feeding the cat or cleaning the floor, and establish a list of which duties each family member is accountable for and when.
If you’ve spent much of your life without a schedule, motherhood is the perfect moment to embrace it. Routines provide children’s structure and direction so they know what they need to do when.
Having a schedule, even if it’s a flexible one, gives children’s more opportunities to take on duties and responsibilities on their own. If your child gets into the habit of eating breakfast first thing in the morning, then feeding the cat, and then getting dressed, they will ultimately know what to do without you having to tell them.
Encourage Problem Solving
If children already understood how to do everything, life would be so much easier. However, children continue to learn, develop, and make mistakes. We can assist them in learning from their mistakes by including them in the development of solutions. It’s a good idea to start by asking them questions:
“How do you think you could remember to bring your snow pants home from school the next time?”
“How might you restructure your day to guarantee that you do your vocabulary assignments on time AND get to bed at a reasonable hour?”
Involving children in problem-solving activities satisfies their desire to feel mature and grown-up, and gives the message that we believe they are capable of being responsible (with a little nudge from us).
It’s pointless to try to teach kids responsibility if we aren’t acting properly ourselves. Kids learn by watching their parents – forget about “do as I say, not as I do.”
Tell the truth to your children if you want them to grow up to be truthful. Manage your own time carefully if you want to raise children who manage their time properly.
It’s possible that children will not always imitate what we do (at least not right away). However, research suggests that parents modelling good behavior rather than instructing children what to do is significantly more successful.
If keeping a room neat isn’t essential to you, though, there’s no need to worry. Simply said, don’t demand more from your children than you do from yourself.
See also: Bad Habits Moms Need To Break Today
Parents could be their own worst enemies at times. We clean their rooms for them instead of letting them do it themselves. We also prepare their lunches, clean their clothes, and bring their neglected schoolwork to their schools.
Occasionally assisting other family members displays our love and support for one another. However, everyone in the family should be accountable for their own tasks, obligations, and belongings as a matter of course.
Learning Responsibility Takes Time
Your daughter might never tidy her room to your standards, while your son could have trouble managing his time in high school and college.
More than the completed objective, our encouragement and support are most vital. Allowing our children to know that we believe in them while continuing to offer them the reins of independence will motivate them to continue to improve and exhibit responsibility.
More On Responsibility
- You Can Raise Responsible Children without Punishment
- Token Economy, Chore Chart, and Behavior Chart
- Weekly Kids Chore Chart Template (Free Download)
- Brilliant Ideas To Get Kids Excited About Chores
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Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.
“GENTLE PARENTING IS A LIFESTYLE THAT EMBRACES BOTH YOUR PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR, NOT ONLY TOWARDS YOUR CHILDREN, BUT TO YOURSELF TOO“— SARA HOCKWELL-SMITH