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Parenting can be hard, especially when dealing with tantrums from toddlers.
Tantrums are when kids get really upset and show their emotions through crying, screaming, or even hitting.
It can be tough for both kids and parents to handle them.
But don’t worry, there are ways to handle tantrums in a positive way!
It’s called positive parenting, and it’s all about building a strong relationship with your child, understanding their emotions, and teaching them how to handle their feelings.
In this blog post, we’ll talk about what tantrums are, why they happen, and how they can affect both parents and kids.
Then, I’ll give you some tips on how to prevent and manage tantrums in a positive way, like being consistent and showing empathy.
My goal is to help you feel more equipped to handle tantrums and build a positive relationship with your child.
Understanding toddler temper tantrums
Have you ever seen a toddler throw a big fit, with lots of crying, screaming, and maybe even throwing things or hitting?
That’s called a tantrum, and it’s actually a normal part of a toddler’s development.
Toddlers are still learning how to control their emotions and communicate their feelings, so when they get frustrated or tired or hungry, they might have a tantrum as a way of letting out all their negative feelings.
But tantrums can be tough for both the toddler and the parents.
Tantrums can make the toddler feel bad and disrupt the family’s routine. Parents can feel stressed and embarrassed.
However, there are ways to prevent and manage tantrums. By understanding what triggers them, like hunger or tiredness, parents can try to avoid tantrums before they happen.
And by responding calmly and consistently, parents can help their child learn how to express their feelings in a more positive way.
Positive parenting techniques for handling toddler temper tantrums
Sometimes, toddlers can have really big emotions that they don’t know how to handle. These emotions can make them cry, scream, or even hit and throw things. That’s called a tantrum, and it can be tough for both the child and the parent.
But there are things parents can do to help prevent and manage tantrums. Here are some strategies:
Prevention:
- Have a regular routine: This means doing things at the same time every day, like eating meals and taking naps. This can help toddlers feel more secure and less likely to have tantrums.
- Avoid things that make tantrums more likely: If you know that your child gets upset when it’s time to leave the park, you can give them a warning and offer them a choice of leaving now or staying a little longer.
- Offer choices: Giving your child choices can make them feel more in control. For example, you can ask them if they want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt.
During the tantrum:
- Stay calm: When your child is having a tantrum, it’s important to stay calm yourself. Take a deep breath and try to be patient.
- Understand their feelings: Let your child know that you understand how they feel. You can say things like “I know you’re upset right now.”
- Distract them: Try to get your child’s attention on something else. This can be a toy or a book.
After the tantrum:
- Comfort your child: Once the tantrum is over, give your child a hug and let them know that you love them.
- Talk about emotions: Use the tantrum as a chance to talk to your child about emotions and how to express them in a good way.
- Encourage good behavior: Praise your child when they behave well and encourage them to keep making good choices.
The importance of consistency
Being consistent as a parent is really important for your child’s emotional and behavioral development. By being clear about what you expect from them and establishing routines, your child will feel more secure and less anxious.
When you consistently praise and reward good behavior, your child learns that it’s important to be well-behaved. This will help them understand that their actions have consequences, and they will be more likely to behave well in the future.
Consistency also sets an example for your child to follow. If you consistently model positive behavior, your child is more likely to behave the same way.
By being consistent, you can improve communication with your child. When your child knows what to expect, they will feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you.
Why It Is So Important To Stay Calm During A Tantrum
As a parent, dealing with a toddler’s tantrums can be really tough. But staying calm during a tantrum is really important. Here’s why:
When parents stay calm, it helps to calm down the child too. Toddlers often have tantrums because they’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. If parents get frustrated too, it can make the tantrum worse. Staying calm can help the child feel more secure and less upset.
Staying calm also shows the child how to handle difficult emotions. Toddlers are still learning how to regulate their emotions and behavior, and they often look to their parents for guidance. When parents stay calm during a tantrum, it teaches the child that they can manage their emotions without losing control.
Staying calm can prevent negative consequences like harsh discipline or punishment. When parents get frustrated, they may do things they regret later. Staying calm can help parents respond to the child in a more thoughtful and constructive way, which can prevent negative consequences and promote positive behavior.
Finally, staying calm helps parents take care of themselves. Dealing with tantrums can be really stressful, but staying calm can help parents manage their own emotions and stress levels. This can help them feel more capable and resilient in the face of challenging behavior.
Common Triggers For Toddler Tantrums
Dealing with a toddler’s tantrum can be really tough for parents. Toddlers are still learning how to regulate their emotions, and sometimes they can get really upset and have a tantrum. When this happens, it’s important for parents to stay calm, even though it can be really hard.
Staying calm can help to deescalate the situation. When toddlers have tantrums, it’s usually because they’re feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or unable to communicate their needs effectively. If parents get frustrated too, it can make the tantrum worse. Staying calm can help the child feel more secure and less upset.
Staying calm also shows the child how to handle difficult emotions. Toddlers are still learning how to regulate their emotions and behavior, and they often look to their parents for guidance. When parents stay calm during a tantrum, it teaches the child that they can manage their emotions without losing control.
Staying calm can also prevent negative consequences. When parents get frustrated, they may do things they regret later. If parents get really angry or upset, they may resort to harsh discipline or punishment, which can harm the parent-child relationship and undermine the child’s sense of security. Staying calm can help parents respond to the child in a more thoughtful and constructive way, which can prevent negative consequences and promote positive behavior.
Finally, staying calm helps parents take care of themselves. Dealing with tantrums can be really stressful, but staying calm can help parents manage their own emotions and stress levels. This can help them feel more capable and resilient in the face of challenging behavior.
Does Redirection Really Work On A Toddler During A Tantrum?
Sometimes, when toddlers are upset and throwing a tantrum, parents use redirection.
Redirection means to distract them by getting them interested in something else.
This way, they forget about what’s making them upset, and they can calm down.
For example, if a toddler is upset because they want a toy that they can’t have, a parent might show them a different toy or start a fun activity to get their attention away from the toy they want.
However, redirection doesn’t always work, especially if the tantrum is very intense. It also depends on the child’s age and personality.
Some toddlers are easier to redirect than others.
It’s important to remember that redirection shouldn’t be used to ignore the child’s feelings or to avoid dealing with the underlying problem.
It’s essential to acknowledge and understand the child’s emotions, even if their behavior is challenging.
Redirection should be used as a way to help the child calm down and feel better, not as a way to avoid the real issue.
Suggested Reading For Parents:
Suggested Reading For Kids
Calm-Down Time (Toddler Tools)
Tools to help your toddler understand how to calm down after a tantrum.
The Tantrum Monster: (Children’s books about Anger) (Emotions & Feelings)
It helps children deal with overwhelming feelings.
Print This Positive Parenting Guidebook – The 5 Pillars Of Positive Parenting
Listen… parenting with connection and positivity has been seen as permissive and lazy parenting BUT this is totally not the case.
I am a mom of 3 beautiful children and I’ve spent HOURS, DAYS, MONTHS, and YEARS researching this topic and seriously, it is my favorite way to parent.
Way better than what I grew up with – which was A LOT of yelling, spanking and frankly, neglect.
This little guidebook is a golden nugget that you can have for free – and print it out! Put it on the fridge, refer to it often. It’s really a great tool for kids of all ages.
Download Your Free Printout
- Download the guidebook. You’ll get the printable, plus join hundreds parents who receive my weekly parenting tips and ideas! (Sometimes I’ll promote a parenting program, but only the best ones that are in the positive parenting community, I promise.)
- Print. Print out the guidebook!
- Place it where you can see it. There is a lot of great information in this guidebook, even though it’s small. It’s power packed full of great stuff so put it where you can refer to it often.
