How you can use positive parenting to become a better person yourself while you teach your children how to be the best versions of themselves.
We all want the best for our young children, and the last thing we want as parents to rear children who are entitled brats. No one strives for this!
I absolutely love to use positive and gentle parenting in my own household, now that I know so much about how many benefits this parenting style holds.
Can positive parenting encourage personal development? YES! Children who are raised with positive parenting principals are often calm and not as reactive in difficult situations. They are often more tolerant, independent and empathetic. Fostering a growth mindset and a positive mindset and teaching how to process strong negative emotions is the main pillar of gentle parenting. Positive parenting is the best way to raise a well rounded human being when implemented at the child developmental stage.
To learn more about how positive parenting works, stick around – I’ve got a lot to tell you. (and please don’t feel like gentle and positive parenting means you have to be perfect parents)
See also: 5 Parenting Styles And How They Work
Positive Parenting Defined
Positive discipline is highly focused on creating a strong parent-child relationship.
Instead than focusing just on the good behavior or bad behavior, positive discipline focuses on altering the “belief underlying the action.” Positive discipline is based on the idea that “there are no bad kids, only bad behavior.”
To address a child’s behavior, negative disciplinary approaches include threatening, humiliating, bribing, and punishing. However, as the days go on, the kids become angrier and more upset, and they don’t seem to grasp the lesson we’re trying to teach them.
Positive Discipline (or PD) is a discipline model used by schools, and in parenting, that focuses on the positive points of behavior, based on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviors. You can teach and reinforce the good behaviors with positive reinforcement while weaning the bad behaviors without hurting the child verbally or physically.
People engaging in positive discipline are not ignoring behavior problems. Rather, they are actively involved in helping their child learn how to handle situations more appropriately while remaining calm, friendly showing mutual respect.
Positive discipline includes a number of different positive parenting techniques that, used in combination, can lead to a more effective way for modern parents to manage their kids behavior, or for teachers to manage groups of students. Some of these are listed below.
Positive Behavior Support (PBS) is a structured, open-ended model that many parents and schools follow. It promotes positive decision making, teaching clear expectations to children early, and encouraging positive behaviors.
Why Choose Positive Parenting & The benefits of positive parenting
Respecting our children gives them a sense of security
It helps to give a firm foundation (at any age, but best at early age) when we respond to their large emotions without adding more big emotions. Instead of feeling out of control or in an unsafe setting, they feel safe because you’re encouraging their emotional development.
Now, I am one of the most emotional and sensitive persons on the planet. As a result, this is difficult for me.
However, learning to inject peace and calm into a situation provides children a baseline for their own emotions, limiting their fury, tears, and outbursts of overpowering emotions.
Positive parenting promotes emotional well-being
When a child is dealing with intense negative emotions, a positive parent will gently assist them to a more acceptable manner of dealing with their feelings and helps a child’s self-esteem overall.
What’s more essential is that we’re not attempting to instil dread in our children. Even as early toddlers, they understand that even if they fail us, we will not lose our cool, but will instead steer them toward natural consequences and a rational solution by setting healthy boundaries. When parents set boundaries they help children make good choices in a constructive way.
Helps Foster Confidence
Gently teaching our children to develop life skills and problem solve gives them the confidence to feel they can accomplish more. It is critical to teach children to believe in themselves and what they are capable of. It not only boosts children’s self-esteem, but it also helps them grasp their own capabilities.
Allowing children to become a member of the family and work alongside us aids in the development of life skills such as learning to fold clothes, clean dishes, and prepare meals. They believe they are a vital and necessary part of the process, allowing them to smoothly move from helper to doer as they grow older. These are all powerful benefits of positive parenting approaches.
Builds Self- Esteem
A child’s self-esteem grows as a result of positive parenting skills. Their positive self-concept is so important while they are growing up.
This implies that our children feel valued and important… Every single soul is priceless. When we endeavour to raise our children without shouting, coercion, or harsh punishment (rather of positively disciplining them), there is usually positive outcomes.
Being a mindful parent allows children to see their own value
Your time is really precious. And you’re going to spend it with them and build strong connections. They have a sense of belonging and significance in the family. Connection is one of the many important children’s needs that help with their brain development and helps them lead a happy life.
This is why, wherever feasible, we try to offer experience presents and play games instead of watching television. We really value quality time and find small ways to get daily connections in with our children. Loving parents can set these kinds of realistic goals and do activities with kids to help strengthen those bonds and promote a high self-esteem.
Having someone to listen to them can help kids develop empathy
When we take the time to listen to our children’s complaints when they perceive unfairness or when there has been a conflict, it builds their trust in us. We have taken the time to listen to them, despite the fact that we are the authority (AKA authoritative parent) and have the last say.
They can teach us a thing or two. We may learn how they feel, who they are, and what they believe in. This is really helpful when it comes to the teenage years and dealing with behavior problems that are normal in child development.
I never want my children to feel passionate about making a difference in the world only to be told that they won’t be heard or that they can’t try to improve things because they aren’t in charge.
The important thing is to encourage a consistent relationship with emotional warmth to help encourage those communication skills with positive attention.
Our children’s Gratitude grows
Encouragement is important for our children along the same lines as communication. Who else is rooting for them if we aren’t?
The more we seek to validate and encourage our children, the more we develop a heart of love and appreciation for them.
logic and reasoning skills Improve
Did you realise that natural consequences and positive discipline can help you avoid power struggles? There is no dispute and hence no power struggle when there is a rational answer.
We informed Jenn before she began school that we expected her to eat her entire lunch every day. She’d get to participate in pizza day every Friday as a natural reward. She’d miss out if she didn’t. There was nothing she could say if she didn’t keep her half of the bargain.
Similarly, we use natural consequences when people misbehave. Even as adults, it can be tough to reason it out at times, but once the habit takes hold, it becomes much simpler. Is there a child who hasn’t completed their chores?
We don’t get compensated as adults if we don’t work. As a result, there is a conversation about how we must work before we may play.
Other logical consequences include keeping hands in pockets when hitting (you don’t get to use your hands if you can’t use them for good), taking a moment of silence when using inappropriate words, or when a child lies, they may not get to make as many decisions or experience as many “yes” answers to their questions because trust has been broken.
Supportive Parenting With Kind And Gentle Undertones
The point of Gentle Parenting isn’t to simply stop sounding like an army general commander who constantly orders their children around in early childhood. That kind of parenting can have a negative impact and create poor lines of communication later in your child’s life.
There is more to it than that. The point of speaking to children in a respectful manner is to simply create strong bonds and unbreakable family ties.
I know I strive to create a family environment that is positive, welcoming and we treat each other well. This is why having positive parents who use gentle parenting is so impactful.
There are many hard days in our household, and it feels like sometimes, there isn’t enough patience – on my end – to go around.
But the best thing is, I know that when I yell instructions at my kids, things don’t get accomplished, and I end up either having to do it myself or yelling some more.
These kinds of situations that are frustrating beyond belief, can usually be wiped out completely with some positive language.
Building that trust with a respectful relationship and children usually believe that the parent is on their side and will work to make things fair for everyone.
Sometimes even the great parents are giving some type of order to children throughout the day. Throughout the morning rush, do you say things like:
- Time to get dressed!
- Put that away.
- Wash your face, please.
- Don’t forget your jacket.
- Come here.
Those are pretty standard phrases, and honestly, most of them can be modified to not sound like orders. Children likely get a hundred orders a day from us, and the simple fact of the matter is, they don’t need to be ordered. They can be conversations instead like with this authoritative parenting style .
How can you use those positive parenting approaches to change the way you use your words?
- How about we get dressed now? I’ve got breakfast waiting for you when you’re all dressed and ready to eat.
- Do you think we can play with that later? There is so much left to do this morning, let’s finish our to-do list and then we can play.
- Oh my goodness, you still have breakfast on your face! Why don’t you go rinse off your face before we leave the house?
- It’s a little chilly today, let’s grab your jacket just in case you need it.
- I have something I wanted to say to you, would you like to come over here and hear it?
See also: 60 Relatable Inspirational Quotes On Upbringing Children You’ll Love
The One Way Positive Parenting Can Encourage Personal Development Bottom Line
While there are so many benefits to using gentle and positive parenting strategies in your home to get rid of bad behavior issues and help strengthen family bonds but my favorite thing is that positive parenting encourages personal development in the appropriate way that children and adults are less reactive in tough situations. The emotional management alone is worth it’s weight in gold.
I learned all about positive parenting from parenting expert Amy McGrady, the creator of positive parenting solutions who teaches the impact negative words have on our children, and really drives home the message of connecting before correcting behavior in a positive approach.
For more positive parenting tips you can start with reading How To Start Using Natural Consequences With Kids Today or 6 Easy Ways To Respond When Your Child Is Disrespectful.
Free Resource For You
I’ve created a free pdf just for you! If you are struggling with gentle parenting with your kids this PDF will help you find one that will work for your family.
This free pdf can show you:
- The pillars of gentle parenting
- Example conversations you can have with kids
- Example consequences you can use
- Family activity ideas for connection