Do you suffer from these common bad habits as a mom? I’m guilty of a few of them myself. By breaking some of these common habits I have become a better parent, and so can you!
All of us moms are guilty of at least one of these bad habits, and it’s nothing to feel mom guilt about! As soon as you realize that you have a bad habit, you can turn it around with some small changes in the most important areas of your life.
It’s much easier to change pattern of behavior by making better choices one choice at a time. In the long run, working on getting rid of your bad habits a little bit at a time can make a huge difference in your job as a mother.
I mean, I know that my main goals are to raise happy and healthy children who will later on be able to contribute to society in a positive way. And the simple fact is that children copy all of our actions which means they can pick up on our bad habits too.
So do you have any of these bad habits? It’s ok if you do, you can fix them now that you’re aware!
Bad Habits Most Moms Have
Most mothers do not prioritize their health because they lack the time or energy to do so. Would you rather relax on the couch or move your body to work out and sweat if you had an hour free every day?
I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather be on the couch!
But I also enjoy the concept of having a healthy body. As a result, I try to fit in some form of exercise whenever I can. It’s usually 20 minutes of stretching or yoga, but if I can do that, I consider it a triumph.
Also, eat foods that will feed you and give you the energy that you need. We take great care in making healthy food for children and ensuring that they get enough protein, carbohydrates, and fat, but do you make sure that you are also taking in all the nutrients you need?
Another thing mothers do is rush their children to the doctor when they are sick, but put off their own medical needs until “someday.” which can lead to health issues down the line.
If you have these negative behaviors, make a conscious effort to change them by setting aside time for yourself every day. Because your health is just as vital as everyone else’s.
It’s important not to reflect your own worries, own insecurities and fears onto young children. Your children look up to you and take cues from the way you see the world. If you are always scared and avoid uncomfortable circumstances, your child will pick up on this and their stress levels will rise.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect all of the time to be a better mother. If you have challenges to overcome, talk to your kids about them so they can learn that you are human and see how you grow!
Another issue is a lack of self-acceptance and love. if you’re insecure about your body or criticize common mistakes that you make, your kids will take notice and develop their own sense of negative self-talk. Try some positive affirmations to get yourself back into the good place of healthy mental health.
Ok, I’m not saying we all have to be organized like the Home Edit gals. But in our busy schedules, getting organized enough so you know where things are in your home can relieve some extra stress. It’s good for your mental health to have a happy and organized home.
The joy of a mother can be robbed quickly when mess and clutter gets in the way of life.
As a result, I began to create routines for myself and my children. I established processes for doing washing and cleaning so that they did not pile up and overwhelm me later.
I was constantly frustrated as a disorganized mother since there was always more work to be done. But not right now. Meal planning and other routines have made my life easier, and I am a happy mother as a result.
Ignoring Your Own Life
Another bad habit mom’s often have is to lose sight of their identity once their children arrive. Sure, kids need us a lot in the beginning. And perhaps later as well, if not quite as much.
Is it, however, the sole purpose of a mother’s life to raise her children? When your children grow up and leave the nest, who do you think you’ll be?
Before becoming a mother, you were a full person. And that individual now needs a lot of love and attention.
Please do not bury your aspirations for the sake of your family, no matter how difficult it may appear to reach your goals while raising children. Especially in today’s society, when we have a lot more options than we did a decade ago.
Keep your dreams alive, and keep an identity other than that of a mother at the top of your priority list.
In addition, emerging trends reveal that parents who devote their entire lives to raising their children tend to overdo and overprotect them from every adversity, developing dependent adults as a result.
Comparing Yourself to Other Moms
A fairly new habit that’s not quite so nice is to compare yourself to other moms, especially on social media.
There’s nothing wrong with being on social media, but sitting in the living room on your cell phone watching other moms rock mom life for 15 seconds isn’t a real glimpse into other people’s lives. It’s just a small fraction of their day and it’s staged to make you see how the creator wants you to see them.
As mothers, we question ourselves and wonder if we are doing enough as a mother since we are constantly observing how others raise their children.
It’s useful to be aware of various parenting styles and what we should and shouldn’t do as parents. However, it should not go too far and cause you to suffer because doing what others do may not always be economical or convenient for you.
This is one of the reasons I’ve developed a dislike for social media. If you check in every day, it’s difficult not to compare your life to the strangers you see there.
Take what you need and leave what you don’t, in my opinion. Define what works and what doesn’t for your family to avoid comparisons. As a result, regardless of what others do, you may be at peace with yourself and remain confident.
Worrying A Ton
This is a nasty habit that I have. I have a tendency to become concerned with my children’s well-being and micromanage certain parts of their routines.
One of the reasons is that I have anxiety. But, more recently, I’ve been considering how it might affect their independence and sense of self-identity. And how it should have no bearing on their goals or opportunity to learn from their mistakes.
I’ve made mistakes and developed unproductive habits throughout my life.
For example, when I was a kid, I would be addicted to the television screen 24 hours a day, seven days a week during vacations or weekends. It was sheer laziness and junk food for me on the weekends.
My parents didn’t impose any restrictions on my screen time, so I was able to watch as much as I wanted.
But I don’t watch any TV anymore since I recognized it wasn’t adding any value to my life. I’m also attempting to do the same with my cellphone usage.
So, just as I have the power to select what is beneficial for me, I am confident that my children will have it as well.
That’s what I tell myself to help me deal with my anxiety and quit being a control freak. That doesn’t mean I don’t limit their screen time or teach them good behaviors.
When students make mistakes, I strive to be their safety net by providing guidelines and acting as a sounding board. It’s difficult not to step over the line, but that’s exactly what we need to do.
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to become a more relaxed mom by letting go of the need to be in charge of everything.
Judging Other Moms
Every parent, I believe, believes that their parenting method is the best. At least, that’s how parents who assess other parents think.
We need to break yet another bad mom habit. Because every parent does what they believe is best for their children. Alternatively, they may employ the parenting methods with which they were reared. Until they discover……something greater.
Until they discover that some of their actions have a harmful impact on children.
This is possible if people are interested in learning about parenting and are willing to put forth the effort to do so. So, how many people do that?
Because you’re reading a parenting piece right now, I’m sure you do. That doesn’t imply we may pass judgement on people who don’t have the same knowledge as us.
I’ve learned a lot more about parenting in the last 8 years. We’re all always trying to improve and learn new things. However, this does not imply that I am a perfect parent. Nobody is like that.
It’s also easy to put other mothers down when their children don’t meet key milestones. It’s natural to compare, but keep in mind that we’re not perfect parents and have no idea what others are going through.
Not Accepting Help
You’re in trouble if, like me, you despise asking for help. I am a strong independent person who dislikes bothering others with my concerns, no matter how minor they may be.
I try to accomplish everything on my own for the same reason. What I’ve discovered is that it can be too much at times. You’ll never be able to rest or take a break. It makes me an irritable and grumpy mother.
So, if you can, subcontract some of your housework at least once a week or hire a babysitter if you need assistance with that. You can also seek assistance from friends and relatives who live nearby.
If you have older children, you can teach them to help with housework so that your workload decreases with time. They also get to gain the necessary life skills before they leave home. Accepting help is one of the most positive habits you can create in your life as a parent.
Lying To Children
Parents tell white lies to their children to coerce them into doing something they want, to stop their whining or to avoid nagging.
According to studies, children who have been lied to by their parents will lie more as adults.
If your children continually catch you lying, it will diminish their faith in you. They will eventually be unable to trust others. Stop lying to your children if you want them to grow up to be honest and cherish integrity.
To avoid a temper tantrum, it may seem easier to make false promises (I’ll take you to the park today). However, never make such promises if you are unable to keep them, especially when it’s around quality time and connection.
Going To Bed Too Late
Many mothers need on a lot of coffee to keep their sanity and perform correctly. But, does it ever replace a good night’s sleep?
Poor sleep habits, such as staying up late on your cell phone or binge-watching Netflix, can disrupt your sleep patterns. The next day, you’ll be an exhausted and irritated momma.
As a result, attempt to set your bedtime such that you get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Determine the source of your sleep deprivation and address it.
If you have a problem with phone overuse, set a time each night when you will put your phone away. Investing in a genuine alarm clock is another option for keeping your phone out of your bedroom.
We live in fear of being judged just as much as we fear being judged. We are concerned about what others think of our parenting style and how others see our children’s behavior.
When we become mothers, we typically receive a great deal of unwanted advice. Whatever parenting method you use, remember that you are the expert on your child and know what works and what doesn’t.
If you decide to stop breastfeeding or start homeschooling, know that you have complete control over your life. People will judge you regardless.
Forgetting About Marriage
We believe that being parents strengthens our marriage. Because we now have an unbreakable relationship with our spouse. They are the biological father or mother of your child.
However, studies suggest that children have a significant – and often detrimental – impact on many marriages.
Because we don’t have the same amount of time, space, or privacy after having children as we did before. Less time and energy for romance, increased financial pressures, differing parenting styles, and other factors can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.
We must make a conscious effort to reconnect with one another on a regular basis in order to survive and sail smoothly. Also, always prioritize your marriage over your children. Because, at the end of the day, children require a stable environment in which they see their parents loving one another.
If you put your own needs on the back burner in order to prioritize the needs of your children, your marriage will suffer, and it will have a negative impact on everyone.
Not Creating Connections With Kids
This poor behavior has a negative impact on your relationship with your children.
I understand that many of us do not have enough time in our days to spend quality time with our children. But, after all, what good is raising children if we can’t spend time with them?
Remember, no matter how busy we are, we always make time for our priorities.
Avoiding Buying Yourself Something Nice
This is an example of putting others’ needs ahead of our own. Moms must spend money on their personal needs and desires in addition to their family’s needs and desires.
Getting a Mani/Pedi or a monthly spa massage should not be considered a luxury, but rather a necessity for treating oneself like a queen.
It’s all part of appreciating your worth and appreciating your life. So, if you have a strong desire to do something for yourself but are hesitant to deviate from the family budget, remember that you are always worth it.
Using Negative Language To Describe Other Adults
Sure, life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns, and your relationship with your family may be strained.
However, if they are close family members (such as your ex or their parents) who your children adore, avoid discussing the things they did to you because it will instil animosity in their thoughts.
Allow children to adore them unreservedly without needing to be aware of adult conflicts.
Bad Habits Moms Need To Break Today Bottom Line
Have faith in me. I understand. Everyone has their bad days and their off days.
Breaking these bad habits isn’t going to be an overnight success. Remember to give yourself lots of love and try to get a hot cup of tea or coffee into your morning routine before the chaos of motherhood begins.
But the most essential thing is that you recognize your bad days, treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness, and remind yourself that every day, minute, and second is a fresh start.
It’s human nature to worry and stress about family life but give yourself a little credit and take the first step towards a more healthy family life and break some of these bad habits.