If you long to be a happier mom, here are some simple habits that happy mothers practice often as part of their daily routine.
Sometimes seeing other moms on social media live their best life and looking at my own messy home and giant to-do list makes me feel like I’m not a good mom.
These kinds of feelings are simply not healthy, and I know many of us moms have them.
Sometimes I get so busy with all of the requirements of mom life that I forget that at the end of the day, the most important thing I can provide for my kids is my love affection and happiness.
Here are the secrets to being a happy mom:
- Get enough sleep
- Request alone time
- Enjoy your children
- Get fresh air
- Employ quiet time
- Let kids play
- let go of perfection
- Take care of yourself
- Prioritize family time
- Remember that less is more
- Spend alone time with each child
- Allow kids to fail
- Communicate with your family
- Stop comparing yourself to other parents
- Ensure discipline matches the crime
- Start your morning early
- Get organized
- Plan ahead
So how do we go from an overwhelmed homemaker and tired supermom to a better, happier mom? We create good habits, and below I’ll share with you how busy moms can form some healthy habits.
How New Habits Can Help You Become A Happier Parent
It’s critical that after you become a mother, you retain your identity. You can take better care of all of your selves by developing better habits.
You are happy if you make an effort to develop new, more productive behaviours. Your family is content as well.
Because a mother is the foundation of the family, her happiness has an impact on everyone else in the home. And occasionally it has a lifetime impact on the children.
We are all works in progress, and we make mistakes all the time. But that’s how we develop, and adopting healthier habits aids in letting go of old behaviours that weren’t serving you and embracing new ones. This translates to stronger you and better outcomes.
The Secret To Being A Happy Mom
I’ve gone through my fair share of depression, feelings of inadequacy and just plain bitterness about being a horrible mother after I yell at my kids.
It took me a few good years to figure out this one little secret.
A Good Mom Is Simply A Happy Mom. It’s not a perfect mom.
Yep! That’s it, all that my kids ever expect from me is happiness, love and support in all of their adventures in life.
I mean think about it, if something was to happen to me, tragically or otherwise, I would want my kids to remember me being happy and supportive.
Honestly, they will not remember if the house was always clean or if the laundry was ALWAYS folded.
How do I know they won’t remember that?
Because when I was 5.5 I lost my own mother to suicide. Depression.
What do I remember about my own mother? Certainly isn’t the state of our home, I barely remember our home at all.
Certainly not any folded laundry…I mean, what was I even wearing back then and is that even important?
- I DO remember her cuddling me to sleep and the warmth of her body when I was falling asleep.
- I DO remember her signing me beautiful songs all the time, no matter the time of day.
- I DO remember going sledding together and seeing her huge smile as I fell over in the snow going down a large hill.
I am fully invested in the statement that A Good Mom Is A Happy Mom and that nothing else matters.
Simple Habits Of A Happy Mom
New habits can take some time to get used to. Get our of the constant struggle of a depression roller coaster and use some of these habits to become a happier parent.
Get Enough Sleep
I know that getting enough sleep when you have kids is tough, but it’s important for your mental health for you to get that sleep. The best thing you can do as a mom to become happier to be well rested, as best you can.
Request Alone Time
It is important for all moms, whether you work at home or go to the office, to get alone time into your day. We all work so hard keeping our children alive and fed and happy all the time, that it’s easy to forget about giving ourselves alone time to recuperate.
You can get some physical activity done and get your heart rate up, or have a long bath. Alone time can make you better mom and a more happy person overall.
Enjoy Your Children
We occasionally forget to enjoy our children because we are so busy and preoccupied with completing the next task on the list.
We ponder how time passed so quickly as we look back and view the old pictures. We fail to realise that as our children get older, their adorable infant faces mature, and their dependence on us decreases.
Sometimes all I want to do is pretend I have work to do and ignore my kids. But then I start to fear that if I alienate them now, what if they stop speaking to me in this manner as they gets older and starts to value their friends more? I would miss out on the chance to develop a strong relationship with my children now.
Get Fresh Air
Make sure you are getting adequate fresh air every single day. Whether that means taking the kids out for a walk for an hour or walking the dog on your own. Find a way to get fresh air on a regular basis.
Employ Quiet Time
Your kids should have at least 30-60 minutes of quiet time per day. This is an easy way for you to get your alone time, while your kids can get a little rest. Whether they nap or not, quiet time is a must. Here are some quiet time tips.
Let Kids Play
A good mother never overbooked her children’s schedule because she understood the value of play for kids.
Nowadays, most kids play less than they did in the past, whether they do it inside or outside. Some of the causes include the development of smartphones and video games, as well as the resulting sedentary lifestyle.
Additionally, the helicopter parents’ relentless push for their children to succeed in every endeavour robs them of the chance to learn via unstructured play.
Kids should remember how much fun they had as opposed to how much TV they watched as they become older and reflect on their upbringing.
I think screen time should be kept to a minimum so that youngsters can fully appreciate this carefree period of their lives. Today, limiting screen time is more important than ever, whether it’s for children or parents.
And instead, the emphasis should be on assisting them in forming practical habits and skills. They should learn how to amuse themselves by developing useful habits like reading, creating, playing outside, and other activities that promote growth.
Let Go Of Perfection
You may think that you need to have the perfect home, the best lunches and Pinterest worthy dinner.
Stop thinking that. You do not need to be perfect. Kids are fed? Good enough. Kids are bathed? Good enough. Kids are loved? Perfect.
Some days you’re in survival mode and the most important thing is to focus on raising those little darlings that you created. So once again, let go of that pile of laundry, heat up leftovers for dinner, or heck, order in!
Who cares! You’re doing a great job regardless of how you handle your household chores.
Take Care Of Yourself
When you’re super busy taking care of the family, it is so easy to forget about yourself. But you need attention too. You also need to be washed and fed! Take care of yourself.
Some days you may have a hard time finding a moment to brush your hair and teeth, and I’m telling you, I’ve been there, and there is nothing more important than taking a minute to brush your teeth and hair. You’ll feel so much better!
So if you’re having a hard day of motherhood and the kids are screaming…that’s ok. You take a moment for you, you’re important too.
Prioritize Family Time
I know that you spend all day everyday with the family, but making the effort to spend quality time with your family members can make a huge difference in your happiness level. A happy family is easier to manage than one who is stressed or disconnected.
Remember That Less Is More
Not just in terms of toilet paper, but in terms of life as well. Do the children need to go to the Zoo once a week, or can they have an equally fun day in the backyard?
Do the kids need a roast for dinner, or will boiled dumplings from the freezer fill them up just fine? Do the kids need a huge pile of Christmas presents, or will they need a few really special, thoughtful ones?
Kids focus on the special moments, and everything else gets forgotten, so less IS in fact, more when it comes to family. You can be a happy mama if you focus on special moments that don’t cost a thing.
Spend Alone Time With Each Child
If you have more than one child, you can sometimes feel like you are paying more attention to one than another.
To combat that mom guilt, make a point of having a one on one date with each child once in a while to make everyone, including yourself, feel a connection.
Creating special connections with each child will help strengthen your relationships which in turn can eliminate common behavior issues such as backtalk and whining. It’s easy to be a very happy mom if your children do not have huge behavior issues.
Allow Your Kids To Fail
Children need to learn about failure and success in their own ways, as mothers, we feel like we need to fix all the issues for our children.
In my non-professional opinion, this is not the way to teach children independence and how to deal with failure.
Don’t we want to motivate the kids to be their best and combat problems and roadblocks? I certainly do, and it is very difficult to see our children fail.
So go ahead, allow your kids to fail. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a strong one!
I always feel the hardest part of this parenting thing is the fact that everything seems out of my control.
As Olaf says “Controlling what you can, when things feel out of control”.
Such a powerful phrase and it really helps put into perspective that you just can’t control everything, and sometimes that means letting your children make their own mistakes and learn their own way out of their failures.
I’m not saying you can’t guide them through their mistakes, for sure go ahead and do that. But make sure you are allowing them to make those mistakes so they can learn first hand from their experience.
Communicate With Your Family
Sometimes talking to children can feel like pulling teeth. They don’t want to talk about their day, and you can’t get any information about their new friends at school and you just feel like a complete failure because they won’t talk to you.
Well maybe not, but I feel this way sometimes.
I often find that when I am actively involved in their interests that I can get a lot more communication out of them.
Even something as simple as showing interest in their new video game or listening to some music together (yes, even if you hate it)
Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Parents
This is a really big one. The thing is, we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors in other families.
You really never know what’s going on in their lives and all the stuff that is posted on social media could be a huge front for fake happiness.
The only thing you should be focused on is YOU and YOUR family (kids and spouse!) and if everyone is fed and washed and happy, then you’re doing a great job.
Ensure The Discipline Matches The Crime
There are so many books on the correct way to discipline children, and in our home, we use positive parenting techniques so our discipline strategies vary from most households. The important thing is to not overreact when discipline is needed and blurt out the most outrageous punishment you can think of.
Take a moment and discuss with your partner the best course of action for the behaviour that occurred. You won’t feel horrible for blurting out an outrageous punishment and your children will understand (hopefully) that you made a well thought out decision.
If you need guidance on discipline, then you have to read my positive parenting solutions course review. This is the only parenting course you’ll ever need! Better yet, if you have an hr, take this completely free parenting class.
Start your Morning Early
Another thing I’ve learned about being a mother is that how we start our days directly affects how productive we are throughout the day.
I’ve been getting up early—by which I mean, earlier than the kids—ever since I became a mother in order to find that elusive me-time.
Because I didn’t get to spend time with the most essential person, myself, waking up with kids usually made me grumpy. See: 7 Things Productive And Happy Moms Do In The Morning for tips on how to have a better morning at home.
You don’t have to have a perfectly organized home to be happy. It IS a good idea to have an organized enough home so that you can find things that you need as easily as possible.
I don’t know about you, but when my home is not organized enough and I can’t find something I get frustrated and my attitude towards my family is not my usual happy self.
Simple things like having a plan, even if it’s just in your head, can simplify crazy mornings, chaotic after school activity schedules and even dinners. Time management can make it easier to find those happy moments. You can schedule time to spend with family and work on your physical health.
You do not have to go all crazy having every minute of every day all planned out. You can get into a routine pretty quickly to simplify your morning.
You can even grab a life planner and use it to roughly plan out all areas of your life so you can stop forgetting important things. I certainly get frustrated when I forget little things like RSVP to a birthday party or pick up a gift before coming home from school drop off. Planning makes a happier mom.
Do you know how to end a power struggle quickly and easily? Make jokes.
When I anticipate a temper tantrum, a fight between siblings, or a power struggle, I make an effort to lighten the mood by doing or saying something amusing.
Kids are stupid, and it doesn’t take much to get them to laugh. They will start giggling uncontrollably if you make any amusing faces or noises. By the way, I’m talking about younger children. So, if you feel as though you lack the ability to tell jokes, don’t worry.
One of the best habits you can develop to handle maternity’s challenges is the ability to be fun because motherhood is already difficult and many moms experience increased anxiety after having children.
Happy Mom, Happy Kids
In conclusion, being a happy mom is not always easy, especially during hard times and amidst temper tantrums. However, by focusing on the good things and making small changes in our daily lives, we can improve our overall happiness.
Whether you’re a new mom navigating the grocery store with a baby or an older mom dealing with teenage son, there are things you can do to make your life more fulfilling.
One of the best things new mothers can do is to prioritize their own needs, whether that’s by getting a little extra help or by simply taking a few minutes to relax in the living room.
It’s also important to remember that the best mom is not always the “perfect” parent, and that it’s okay to have a bad mood or a “mom funk” every now and then.
As Arlene Pellicane, an Asheville mom and author, reminds us, “Being a happy mom doesn’t mean we never have a breaking point or that we’re always in a good mood. It simply means that we’re making an effort to enjoy the little things in life and to find a healthy balance between our daily responsibilities and our own happiness.”
So, let’s take a moment to dance party with our little people, have a tickle fight, and make a meal time fun. Remember that being a mom is an amazing experience, and the little things we do each day can help us to be the best mom and happiest wife to our happy husband.
Let’s make sure to enjoy the daily life with our older kids and baby girl, and not to forget that we are not alone on this journey, there are other parents going through the same struggles as we are. Happy mother’s day!
So go give lots of hugs, smile and love to those kids of yours, that’s all they really want from their beautiful, wonderful mommy.