10 Habits Of A Happy Mom: The Secrets I Found To Help Me Be A Happier Mom

Inside this post: 10 habits of a happy mom and how simple mindset changes can help you become the best mom you’ve always wanted to be.

habits of a happy mom

Sometimes as moms we get caught up in the chaos of homemaking and parenthood that we become overwhelmed and sometimes even unhappy.

Have you ever felt this way?

I know I have, and I try my hardest to be there for my children every day in any capacity that they need me in. 

Sometimes I get so busy with all of the requirements of mom life that I forget that at the end of the day, the most important thing I can provide for my kids is my love affection and happiness.

So how do we go from an overwhelmed homemaker and tired supermom to a better, happier mom? We create habits, and below I’ll share with you 10 habits of a happy mom.  

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The Secret To Being A Happy Mom

I’m not a parenting expert, and I’m certainly not a motivational speaker or anyone famous, but I have been doing this mom thing for a few years and it hasn’t all been rainbows and butterflies. I’ve gone through my fair share of depression, feelings of inadequacy and just plain bitterness about being a horrible mother after I yell at my kids.

If you struggle with getting your kids to listen without nagging, yelling or losing control, join this absolutely FREE ONLINE CLASS that teaches parents how to battle common parenting struggles!

It took me a few good years to figure out this one little secret.

A Good Mom Is Simply A Happy Mom

Yep! That’s it, all that my kids ever expect from me is happiness, love and support in all of their adventures in life.

I mean think about it, if something was to happen to me, tragically or otherwise, I would want my kids to remember me being happy and supportive.

Honestly, they will not remember if the house was always clean or if the laundry was ALWAYS folded.

How do I know they won’t remember that?

Because when I was 5.5 I lost my own mother to suicide. Depression.

What do I remember about my own mother? Certainly isn’t the state of our home, I barely remember our home at all.

Certainly not any folded laundry…I mean, what was I even wearing back then and is that even important?

I DO remember her cuddling me to sleep and the warmth of her body when I was falling asleep.

I DO remember her signing me beautiful songs all the time, no matter the time of day.

I DO remember going sledding together and seeing her huge smile as I fell over in the snow going down a large hill.

I am fully invested in the statement that A Good Mom Is A Happy Mom and that nothing else matters.

Related: 12 Ways to spend quality time with kids

10 Habits Of A Happy Mom

Let Go Of Perfection

You may think that you need to have the perfect home, the best lunches and Pinterest worthy dinner.

Stop thinking that. You do not need to be perfect. Kids are fed? Good enough. Kids are bathed? Good enough. Kids are loved? Perfect.

Some days you’re in survival mode and the most important thing is to focus on raising those little darlings that you created. So once again, let go of that pile of laundry, heat up leftovers for dinner, or heck, order in!

Who cares! You’re doing a great job regardless of how you’re feeding and caring for your kids.

Take Care Of Yourself 

When you’re super busy taking care of the family, it is so easy to forget about yourself. But you need attention too. You also need to be washed and fed! Take care of yourself.

Sometimes taking care of yourself means getting exercise or doing simple self-care routines.

Some days you may have a hard time finding a moment to brush your hair and teeth, and I’m telling you, I’ve been there, and there is nothing more important than taking a minute to brush your teeth and hair. You’ll feel so much better!

So if you’re having a hard day of motherhood and the kids are screaming…that’s ok. You take a moment for you, you’re important too.

Related: 4 Step Mom Morning Routine

Remember That Less Is More

Not just in terms of toilet paper, but in terms of life as well. Do the children need to go to the Zoo once a week, or can they have an equally fun day in the backyard?

Do the kids need a roast for dinner, or will boiled dumplings from the freezer fill them up just fine? Do the kids need a huge pile of Christmas presents, or will they need a few really special, thoughtful ones?

Kids focus on the special moments, and everything else gets forgotten, so less IS in fact, more when it comes to family.

Related: Mom priorities: Because Some Things Can Wait

Spend Alone Time With Each Child

If you have more than one child, you can sometimes feel like you are paying more attention to one than another.

To combat that mom guilt, make a point of having a one on one date with each child once in a while to make everyone, including yourself, feel a connection.

Creating special connections with each child will help strengthen your relationships which in turn can eliminate common behavior issues such as backtalk and whining!

Allow Your Kids To Fail

Children need to learn about failure and success in their own ways, as mothers, we feel like we need to fix all the issues for our children.

In my non-professional opinion, this is not the way to teach children independence and how to deal with failure.

Don’t we want to motivate the kids to be their best and combat problems and roadblocks? I certainly do, and it is very difficult to see our children fail.

So go ahead, allow your kids to fail. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a strong one!

I always feel the hardest part of this parenting thing is the fact that everything seems out of my control.

As Olaf says “Controlling what you can, when things feel out of control”.

Such a powerful phrase, and it really helps put into perspective that you just can’t control everything, and sometimes that means letting your children make their own mistakes and learntheir own way out of their failures.

I’m not saying you can’t guide them through their mistakes, for sure go ahead and do that. But make sure you are allowing them to make those mistakes so they can learn first hand from their experience.

Related: Using Positive Phrases. Saying “NO” By Saying YES

Communicate With Your Family

Sometimes talking to children can feel like pulling teeth. They don’t want to talk about their day, and you can’t get any information about their new friends at school and you just feel like a complete failure because they won’t talk to you.

Well maybe not, but I feel this way sometimes.
I often find that when I am actively involved in their interests that I can get a lot more communication out of them.

Even something as simple as showing interest in their new video game or listening to some music together (yes, even if you hate it)

Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Parents

This is a really big one. The thing is, we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors in other families.

You really never know what’s going on in their lives and all the stuff that is posted on social media could be a huge front for fake happiness.

The only thing you should be focused on is YOU and YOUR family and if everyone is fed and washed and happy, then you’re doing a great job.

Related: 10 signs You’re Mastering Motherhood

Ensure The Discipline Matches The Crime 

There are so many books on the correct way to discipline children, and in our home, we use positive parenting techniques so our discipline strategies vary from most households. The important thing is to not overreact when discipline is needed and blurt out the most outrageous punishment you can think of.

Take a moment and discuss with your partner the best course of action for the behaviour that occurred. You won’t feel horrible for blurting out an outrageous punishment and your children will understand (hopefully) that you made a well thought out decision.

Related: Comforting Phrases To Use To Calm Down A Sad Child

Get Organized

You don’t have to have a perfectly organized home to be happy. It IS a good idea to have an organized enough home so that you can find things that you need as easily as possible.

I don’t know about you, but when my home is not organized enough and I can’t find something I get frustrated and my attitude towards my family is not my usual happy self.

Related: The Best Planner For Busy Organized Moms

10 Habits Of A Happy Mom: The Secrets I Found To Help Me Be A Happier Mom 2

Plan Ahead

Simple things like having a plan, even if it’s just in your head, can simplify crazy mornings, chaotic after school activity schedules and even dinners.

You do not have to go all crazy having every minute of every day all planned out. You can get into a routine pretty quickly to simplify your morning.

 You can even grab a life planner and use it to roughly plan out all areas of your life so you can stop forgetting important things. I certainly get frustrated when I forget little things like RSVP to a birthday party or pick up a gift before coming home from school drop off. Planning makes a happier mom.

Happy Mom, Happy Kids

I hope that this article was helpful to you. The most important thing that I hope you take away from this is that your child just wants a happy mom, not a super laundry folding machine or a perfect housekeeper.

So go give lots of hugs, smile and love to those kids of yours, that’s all they really want from their beautiful, wonderful mommy.

Elizabeth is a mom of 2 and has a passion for helping children reach their human potential. She enjoys helping parents raise confident and healthy kids by explaining how to handle situations using positive parenting.

15 thoughts on “10 Habits Of A Happy Mom: The Secrets I Found To Help Me Be A Happier Mom”

  1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Parents. This! Pressure can lead us to oversee a moment as we’re more conscious of how others will see us. We need to be present rather than presentable in Social Media. These are all awesome tips, truly helpful post. Cheers to Motherhood 🙂

  2. This is amazing and so helpful. You laid it out so nicely… Some things I really needed to hear tol

  3. I love all the points you described but the most important for me is not to compare with other parents. This is an ABSOLUTE NO NO!
    Everybody comes from a different background and everybody is in different circumstances. By comparing yourself with others is never going to benefit you. Just do your best and leave the rest. There will be days when you will be rocking motherhood and then there will be days when you will suck at it. But that’s how parenthood is!

  4. That’s all you really need is love! It is SO powerful and it can be tough to remember that sometimes love is enough!

  5. Thank you so much for the kind words Donna. I did write this post with a lot of heart and hearing you say that just made my day! It’s so hard these days when we’re constantly trying to be these perfect parents, but at the end of the day, a mother who is present and happy is the perfect mother. Such a powerful thing!

  6. So sorry to hear about your mom. You’re right, I don’t really remember all of the things of my home when I was a child but I do remember the moments I shared with my family. That’s what matters the most. I may not be the perfect mom but I can work towards be an awesome one that’s present.

  7. I was thinking about my own mom the other day and realized that when i think back to my own childhood, she definitely wasn’t perfect. but she was a phenomenal mom. It wasn’t because she fit into some sort of ideal, it was because she loved us deeply and we knew it. That’s my new flood line, and I think it’ll make me a happier mom.

  8. I am starting to be a fan. You made me finish the whole post without even blinking as it was so heartwarming. I agree with everything you mentioned. I let go of perfection since I became a mom to my first born. It was sure difficult, but it was worth it and still is. My kids’ health and happiness always come first in this household even when the clean clothes are begging to be folded! Lol! Thank you for this post and I am so sorry you loss your mom at a very early age, Elizabeth. I can only imagine…

  9. Thank you for sharing these tips on how to become a happier mom. I can relate to this. I often worry about whether everything is good enough. I worry about feeding too much frozen food, whether she gets too much screen time or that she’ll remember that I get really impatient and frustrated at times. I do the best I can, but I try to remember to fill our days with good moments. The times that we play outside together, enjoy snuggle time before bed or doing arts and crafts together. Thank you for this important reminder. I’m sorry for the loss of your mom.

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