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How you can handle a stressful situation when emotions run high and you feel like lashing out at your children. Be a calmer mom, check your own emotions and then you can attend to your child in a calm and effective way.
Children can really trigger our emotions sometimes, and anger is one that pops up easily when we are stressed out, low on sleep (especially new moms) , and feel touched out on a daily basis.
Learning how to control your own emotions before attending to the problems at hand with your children will change the way you parent and help you be a more happy mom. I know you can do it!
You can’t control everything that happens, but you can control how you react and respond and that is the best thing.
Personally, I still struggle with it some days. Most of the time I can put these practices into place and take a deep breath in the present moment before dealing with whatever situation just made me feel angry, but there are days where I lose it and yell because I am a human being that reached my breaking point.
REMEMBER THAT BEING A CALM PARENT WILL TAKE PRACTICE, AND IT’S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO MASTER CALM PARENTING IN ONE DAY. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE, LOVE AND TIME.
6 Calm Down Strategies For Moms
Stop What You’re Doing And Focus
When you find yourself losing control, the greatest thing you can do is halt everything.
Take a few deep breaths after that and you’ll be a better mom for it. This allows you to put some time between the stressor and your response, ensuring that you aren’t reacting based on your emotions.
It also calms your nerves and relieves stress and anxiety by slowing your heart rate, allowing more air into your body, lowering your blood pressure, and reducing muscular tension and helps your overall mental health in the moment.
Flip Your Mindset
I’ve discovered that merely changing my thinking can shift the direction of my emotional spirals. When I find myself thinking “I can’t stand this!” or “They’re driving me insane!” I purposefully change my script to affirmations like “God provides me with the insight and strength I require” and “My children are a blessing and a delight.” It may appear to be too easy to be true, yet it alters my attitude and makes me a happier mom.
Ask Yourself What The Trigger Was
Try to gain some clarity regarding your reaction once you’ve taken a minute to relax. Consider why the issue has affected you so much. Are you taking your children’s actions too seriously? Do you have unrealistic expectations for their age and maturity?
Are you truly stressed about anything else and behaving as a result of it? Finding your triggers is one of the best helpful tips I was ever given and I’ve come a long way in learning the simple ways I can remember the good things and calm myself down in an escalated situation.
Take A Break
Don’t give your kid a time out, give yourself a time out. Don’t be afraid to tell your kids you’re not feeling happy and need a minute to cool down when things get hot.
Remove yourself from the situation into a safe place until you are able to reply calmly and rationally. This will not only assist you in de-stressing, but it will also serve as an example of a good de-stressing method for your children!
Think 3 Minutes Ahead
It’s all too simple to react in a way that makes you feel wonderful right now, but consider how you’ll feel later. Concentrate on the larger picture of your mothering and your children’s connections.
Consider the consequences of erupting in rage on their hearts and the mom guilt that follows the next moment or next day. Don’t say anything permanently harmful simply because you’re temporarily furious off.
Remind Yourself Of Your Parenting Goals
When we feel compelled to respond angrily, we might ask ourselves, “Does what I want to do right now accord with my ideals as a mother?” Will this help me achieve my mothering goals?”
We may keep ourselves responsible to our overarching goal by taking a moment to consider how we want to mother our children. When we do, we’ll be more concerned with correcting and educating our children and correcting a child’s behavior than with expressing our own frustrations.
Staying Ahead Of Your Emotions Is Key
Calming down techniques for moms are beneficial and required. But it’s also a good idea to avoid those mommy moments before they happen. Here are three techniques to take control of your emotions:
1. Find Your Triggers
Pay attention to any trends you discover using your responses from #7 above. Is there a certain time of day (or month) when you have the most trouble? Do you have a tendency to become agitated in specific settings or scenarios? Are you finding that the same external pressures are prompting you to lose your cool?
You may build a strategy to handle your triggers once you’ve recognized some of them. To make your days go more smoothly, you might require a better morning or evening routine.
Perhaps you’ll need to put in place some domestic measures to alleviate some of your stress. Perhaps you require healing for deep-seated concerns and difficulties. Investing time now to manage your triggers and angry outburst will pay off in the long term with peace of mind.
2. Have A Parenting Plan
Because I have trouble thinking on my feet and I’m a very busy mom, dealing to behaviour problems and other stressful parenting circumstances in the moment is challenging for me. So, while I’m calm and level-headed, I’ve learned to think through potential behavioural difficulties and devise a strategy for dealing with them.
This helps me respond calmly when problems arise by preventing reactions based entirely on emotions or sentiments in the heat of the moment.
Want to learn how to use positive parenting? Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.
3. Practice Your Parenting Plan
The more you use the aforementioned relaxation techniques, the more natural they will seem. First, try practising them in a low-stress environment. Stopping to assess your reactions is a good habit to get into.
Deep breathing should be practised. Practice consciously picking your ideas. Exercising long-term thinking is a good idea. Also, get in the habit of tracking your feelings back to their source. When the stakes are low, practising will help you be ready when the stakes are high.
4. Wake up Before The Kids
Waking up before the kids means that you have time to get ready for them, so you can be more relaxed and ready to play with them.
You also have time to go to the bathroom, eat breakfast and prepare your lunch before they wake up, so when they do wake up, they’re not hungry and cranky. You also have time to change diapers and make sure that you’re well-rested so that you can provide the best care possible for your little ones.
This is especially important when it comes to newborns, as their bodies are still developing and could get more tangled or overheated if you aren’t paying attention.
5. Time Block
Time blocking is a type of time management that allows you to maximize your time by focusing on one specific activity at a time. It can be used for anything from organizing your home to completing certain tasks.
Time blocking is especially helpful for parents because it allows them to effectively manage their time and work on multiple projects at once. Even if you’re working full-time, you can still use time blocking to juggle your daily responsibilities and keep yourself organized.
There are many benefits of time blocking as a mom, including:
You’ll become more efficient with your time. You will make better use of your limited hours by dividing them into blocks of different times. This will help you prioritize tasks and stay on track. You will also be able to work on different things at the same time without getting distracted by other things.
You will have more control over your schedule. By setting limits and deadlines, you can accomplish more in less time. You can also set aside specific times for other activities like grocery shopping or housework so that everything else doesn’t get pushed back.
You will feel more connected to your children while they are growing up. By spending quality time with them, you give them the opportunity to learn important life skills and build strong relationships with others.
6. Keep The Clutter Down In The House
Keeping your home clutter free and organized can help to reduce anxiety, especially if you are a mom.
One of the most important things for moms is to have a clean and organized home. If you are constantly feeling stressed or anxious about your home, it will only add to your stress level.
Instead, try to get rid of unnecessary items from your house and keep things as neat and tidy as possible. If you are feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that you need to do, take some time out to relax.
You may also want to consider getting professional help from a therapist or counselor if you feel like you are unable to cope with all of the stress that you are experiencing.
By taking care of yourself in this way, you will be able to improve your overall health and well-being, which will in turn reduce your anxiety levels.
Why You Need A Coping Strategy As A Mom
Being a mom is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles a woman can have. However, sometimes the stress and demands of motherhood can lead to lashing out at your children. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to find coping strategies that work for you. One strategy that can help is to take a step back and remind yourself that you’re only human, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Another strategy is to take time for yourself, whether it’s a nap during nap time or a good book during quiet time.
Another great way to cope is to reach out for help. Many moms find support and understanding in online communities, such as Facebook groups or online forums. These groups can provide a sense of community and validation, and can also provide helpful tips and resources. Additionally, consider speaking with a clinical psychologist or counselor, who can provide guidance and support in navigating the difficult emotions that can come with being a mom.
It’s also important to remember that sometimes, a change of scenery can do wonders for your mood. Take a walk outside, go for a drive, or even just change the room you’re in. A change of scenery can help break up the monotony of the day, and can be a great way to clear your head and refocus.
It’s also important to keep in mind that the little things can make a big difference. Meal prep, a clean house, and a good daily schedule can help to create a more peaceful home, and can also give you a sense of accomplishment.
Lastly, remember that motherhood is a journey, and each day is a new opportunity to be the best version of yourself. Take the time to reflect on what went well, and what you can improve on for the next time. Keep in mind the big picture and focus on the best life for you and your family.
Bottom Line
In moments of distress, your energy becomes their energy. Provide the environment that you wish to be in, instead of a reactive, explosive situation that could end up hurting feelings and big emotions.
You are not alone if you react to situations in an angry way. I struggle with this myself, but the most important thing is that we try.
All of us, collectively, need to try to be calm around our little human beings who want so much to be like us. We are their world, and scaring them with anger can be damaging to their soul.
I like to repair my relationship with my kids if I had a bad moment and let my anger get the best of me and then give them extra quality time to create reparations. This helps me achieve a higher inner peace and gives me more reason to reflect on personal growth from my moment of mom rage.
