I am an introverted mom and motherhood can be so hard sometimes when I’m not feeling very social and connected to the outside world. Here are things I do to help find my calm as an introverted parent.
Nothing can truly prepare you for becoming a parent. And nothing can prepare you for the ongoing conflict you’ll have between being “on” all day and figuring out how to sneak in a little alone time to destress if you’re an introvert.
Introverts require alone time to rejuvenate, yet as introvert mothers, alone time is frequently scarce. We all know that having a parent means that our desire to be alone is continually tested, but the impact on introvert women is even higher.
At the end of the day listening to small talk at the playground and running after young kids like the good mom you are leaves you exhausted, touched out, and way out of your comfort zone. I get that.
So take some deep breaths and read on to how you can handle mom life as an introverted mama.
Here are 7 tips to thrive as an introvert mother:
- Wake Up Before the Kids
- Encourage Independent Play
- Fill Kids Attention Buckets
- Get Outside
- Have A Solid Bedtime Routine For Kids
- Embrace The Mess
- Say No To Things
- Explain To The Kids You Need Alone Time
How To Thrive As An Introvert Mom
Wake Up Before The Kids
This is especially important for introverted mothers. I remember going insane on days when I awoke at the same time as my children. So my fellow introvert, do you think you can get up before your young children?
I used to start my days irritated and angry, and then I was angry for the rest of the day. Something has to change.
Even waking up half an hour before my children made a huge difference in our daily schedules because it gave me enough time to get centered which I guess was one of my immediate needs first thing in the morning.
Then I made myself a morning routine that included meditation, journaling, and other activities. Meditation aids me greatly in being calm when dealing with children. You can also try audio books during this time, try Audible for free here and get started on listening to books on your phone.
Introverts frequently love spending time alone. They cherish their alone time and look forward to it every day. As a result, when you get it in the morning, it fills your cup and gives you the energy to face the day.
Encourage Kids To Play Independantly
Though you should spend time with children to connect with them, it is not your responsibility to keep them entertained at all times.
Encourage children to play independently from a young age. You don’t have to leave the room while your baby or toddler is playing.
I used to scatter all of my girls’ dolls and building blocks on the floor when they were little. I’d do it after I’d made sure they were fed and well rested so they didn’t have the constant need to cling to me.
However, once they are content and nothing else bothers them, they are content to play for a while and I had less mom guilt about not spending quality time with the kids in this moment.
You don’t have to ask the little kids to play once they’re older and in elementary school. They accomplish things on their own because they are self-sufficient.
Fill Kids Attention Bucket
It doesn’t take much to fill a child’s love tank. If you play a funny game with them or tell a story to them, they are usually happy. It easier to fill their love bucket if you know their love language, you can read about that here. However, once it is filled, they are usually content and prefer to do things independently.
So, before you need to recharge, attempt to fill their love tank so that they can get on with their job while you focus on yours.
You can always do some STEM activities together or some other indoor activities that kids enjoy to quickly connect with kids and have some fun too.
As an introvert, and especially as a mother, you may occasionally want a break from your typical routine.
Get out of the house! Take a stroll. Nature can renew your thoughts in only a few minutes (or longer). You can still enjoy the outdoors even if the weather isn’t ideal.
You don’t need to engage in social interaction, especially if you like to avoid social situations but young children need to get outside for their mental health, and so do you.
If you like to avoid a social gathering like I do, then get some quiet joy at the playground or a nature park. You can avoid the extroverted mom by putting in some headphones and avoid making future play dates that will never actually happen.
I’m not saying you can’t talk to a close friend, by all means you can socialize all you want to, but I am in constant need of quiet and calm, and extroverted moms are a little bit too loud for my liking.
Stick To A Bedtime Routine For The Kids
I’ve never allowed my children to stay up past 10 p.m. since they were babies. When their bedtime approached, I would become irritated. At the time, I had no idea that my introversion was the source of my frustration from long evenings and I had reached my breaking point.
Now that I know what’s going on, I’m free of guilt and pursuing an early bedtime for them.
Spending time for myself first thing in the morning and last thing at night is crucial to my survival as an introverted mother. Yes, when kids were younger, I needed the mid-day breaks as well. Isn’t that what nap time and quiet times are for, after all?
Embrace The Mess
First and foremost, as an introverted mother, you must understand that you cannot constantly hide. On some days, no matter how well you arrange your day, things go completely wrong.
On such days, it’s far easier to lose your cool, but learning to enjoy the chaos is the key.
Your children have no idea that you are an introvert. And you can’t blame them since their desire for connection isn’t their fault. It’s also possible that they require your assistance with something.
It’s natural to feel impatient when your batteries are low. But I’m always concerned about how my rage may affect my relationship with my children. What if they came to me and said, “Mommy,” and I had to tell them something important?
I don’t want to yell at them or make them feel like I’m unapproachable in an emergency. So, when that happens, I take a deep breath and attempt to summon all of my patience.
It is not always simple or possible, but with practice, it can become easier.
See also: The Importance Of Slowing Down In Parenting
Say No To Things That Make You Uncomfortable
As introverts, we must periodically push ourselves outside of our comfort zones, but we must also recognise our boundaries and know when to decline an invitation to an event, gathering, activity, or trip.
It doesn’t make you a bad mom if you say no to birthday parties and decrease social contact on a regular basis. You’re just taking care of your nervous system and asking for some personal space.
If I feel enthused about a particular get-together, I’m more likely to be able to handle any tension that may accompany it. But if the first thing that comes to mind when I hear about it is “Oh, how exhausting,” it’s probably something we should avoid.
Explain To Kids That You Need Alone Time
If you are an introvert and don’t have a separate spot in your home for yourself, you may feel lost. This is why many introverts find our bedroom to be a haven. Your children, on the other hand, will undoubtedly follow you wherever you go.
So, to find some peace and quiet, I go to the dressing room or even the bathroom. Or implement quiet time, so you can get some and they can get some too.
Now and again, I calmly inform my children that “I need some quiet time to do some things.” If they refuse, I tell them I’ll contact them as soon as I’m finished.
They comprehend it now since it has been repeated so many times that they don’t object as much. Of course, when you go to your recharge zone, make sure your kids are safe.
Asking them nicely also teaches kids to respect others’ boundaries and how to express themselves appropriately when they have their own demands.
It’s especially difficult if you have smaller children, such as babies and toddlers. I used to read or browse Pinterest during my naps to enjoy some mid-day serenity.
However, I want you to know that things will improve. As kids grow older, they become less reliant on others and more self-sufficient. You’ll have a lot more free time than you do now, and you’ll be able to binge-watch all of Netflix’s shows without being interrupted.
Tips To Find Your Calm As An Introvert Mom Bottom Line
I didn’t have a good understanding of myself before I learned about introversion. Because of my reclusive personality, I’ve always felt different since I was a child.
Many people mocked it and called it out as a weakness, leading me to believe there was something wrong with me.
However, I recently learned more about my personality and why I act and think the way I do. It was a game-changer, to say the least. I stopped comparing myself to others and began the process of transitioning from self-hatred to self-love.
Every day, I’m rediscovering myself anew. I recognize that my introversion contributes to my ability to understand others. We have a vivid inner world, like alone, and hence devote more time to our creativity.
Parenting benefits from introversion as well. Because I am an empath by nature, I am able to empathize with my children’s suffering. What do children want? Introverts are terrific listeners. They desire to be seen and heard, which is natural for introverts.
I’d like to believe that in the future, I’ll have a close link with my daughters because I understand their feelings and can feel them in my heart.
Introverts, on the other hand, frequently desire deep partnerships. As a result, being an introverted mother aids us in developing a strong bond with our children.
We are artistic beings who can pass on our talents to our children. Consider how it will improve their lives.
So being a mom who is an introvert isn’t all bad. And you’ll be able to deal with it if you make time in your day for introversion.
Free Resource For You
I’ve created a free pdf just for you! If you are struggling with finding a routine, or need to create more intention in your mom life this pdf will help you.
This free pdf will help you:
- Set aside time to write down your thoughts
- Teach you how to be more intentional with your time
- Gives you 30 days of space to write in
All you have to do is download and print if you like.