Ten Brilliant Positive Parenting Tips
Parenting is a difficult task. It takes a lot of effort to be a good parent. Here are ten good parenting tips to help you become the parent you want to be!
A good parent seeks to make decisions that are in the child’s best interests.
It is not necessary for a good parent to be perfect. No one is without flaws. No child is without flaws… When we set our expectations, it’s crucial to keep this in mind.
It’s not about being perfect as a parent to be successful. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to achieve it. Set high expectations for ourselves first, and then for our children. For them, we act as role models.
Here are ten pointers on how to improve your parenting skills and avoid bad parenting. Many of these are neither simple nor quick. And no one can possibly perform all of them all of the time. Even if you only do half of the recommendations in this parenting guide portion of the time, you will be headed in the correct path if you can continuously working on them.
This post may contain affiliate links. Full disclosure here.
How You Can Be A Good Parent
Model The Behaviour You Want To See
Take the time to walk the walk. Telling your child what you want them to do isn’t enough.
Humans are unique among species in that we can learn by imitation. We are wired to mimic other people’s activities in order to comprehend them and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, pay close attention to everything their parents do.
So, be the person you want your child to be – respect them, model positive behaviour and attitude, and show empathy for their feelings — and your child will imitate you.
Be Loving And Show Your Love
There is no such thing as too much love for your child. They can’t be spoiled by loving them 2. Material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection are just a few examples of what you can do (or give) in the name of love. You’ll have a spoiled child if these items are offered instead of genuine love.
Giving your child hugs, spending time with them, and listening to their problems on a daily basis are all examples of loving your child. Feel-good hormones like oxytocin are released when these acts of love are performed. These neurochemicals can give us a deep sense of peace, emotional warmth, and happiness, and the child will build resilience and a closer relationship with you as a result of them.
Parent With Kindness
Around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) are present at birth, with few connections. These connections mould our personalities, develop our thoughts, and ultimately determine who we are. They are formed, strengthened, and “sculpted” as a result of our life experiences.
Provide pleasant experiences for your child. They will be able to have positive experiences of their own and share them with others. 4. Expose your child to unfavourable situations. They won’t be able to develop in the way that they need to prosper.
Sing that ridiculous song. Have a tickle bonanza. Visit the park. Make your child laugh. Take a ride through an emotional outburst. Together, with a positive mindset, solve an issue.
These pleasant experiences not only develop good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form memories of you that your child will carry with him or her for the rest of his or her life.
Being a good parent entails instilling in your child a moral sense of right and wrong. The keys to excellent discipline are setting limits and being consistent. When enforcing the regulations, be gentle yet firm. Concentrate on the explanation for the child’s conduct. And rather of punishing for the past, use it as an opportunity to learn for the future.
Be Your Childs Safe Space
Respond to your child’s signals and be sensitive to their needs to show them that you’ll always be there for them. Support and embrace your child for who he or she is. Make your home a welcoming, safe refuge for your child to explore. Emotional regulation, social skills development, and mental health outcomes are all better for children reared by parents who are consistently responsive.
The majority of us are aware of the significance of communication. Talk to your child and pay attention to what they say.
You’ll have a better connection with your child if you keep the lines of communication open, and your youngster will come to you when he or she has a problem.
However, there is another reason to communicate: you are assisting your child with integrating different regions of his or her brain.
Integration is comparable to how different organs in our bodies must coordinate and work together to keep us healthy. When various regions of the brain are integrated, they may work together in harmony, resulting in fewer tantrums, more cooperative behaviour, more empathy, and improved mental well-being.
To do so, talk about your difficult experiences. To build attuned communication, ask your kid to recount what happened and how he or she felt. You are not required to offer solutions. To be a good parent, you don’t need to know everything. Simply listening to them speak and asking clarifying questions might assist them in making sense of their experiences and integrating memories.
If you want to make communication fun, here are the best conversation games to get kids talking.
Look Back At Your Experiences
When we open our lips, though, we frequently speak in the same manner as our parents.
A step toward understanding why we parent the way we do is to reflect on our own upbringing. Make a list of items you’d like to alter and consider how you’d handle it in a real-life situation. When such difficulties arise again, try to be more attentive and modify your behaviour. If you don’t succeed right away, don’t give up. It takes a lot of practice to modify one’s child-rearing practises deliberately.
Take Time For Self-Care
Pay close attention to your personal health.
When a kid is born, it’s common to put things like your personal health or the health of your marriage on the back burner. If you ignore them, they will grow into more serious issues in the future. Spend time with your partner to improve your bond.
Don’t be scared to seek parenting assistance. It is essential to take some “me time” for self-care in order to refresh the mind. If you’re exhausted, here are my best tips for tired moms.
The way parents care for themselves, both physically and psychologically, will have a significant impact on their parenting and family life. Your youngster will suffer if these two areas fail.
Avoid Spanking and Negative Punishment
Spanking may, without a doubt, bring about short-term compliance for some parents, which can be a welcome relief.
However, this technique does not teach the youngster the difference between right and wrong. It just educates the youngster to be afraid of the repercussions of his or her actions. Instead, the child is motivated to avoid being caught.
Spanking your child teaches him or her that violence may be used to solve problems. Children who have been spanked, smacked, or struck are more likely to fight with their peers. They are more prone to become bullies and resort to verbal and physical violence to resolve conflicts. They are also more likely to result in delinquency and antisocial conduct later in life, as well as poor parent-child interactions, mental health difficulties, and victims or abusers of domestic violence.
Keep Things In Perspective
What do you want to achieve by raising a family?
If you’re like most parents, you want your child to succeed in school, to be productive, to be responsible and independent, to be polite, to have meaningful connections with you and others, to be kind and compassionate, and to live a happy, healthy, and satisfying life.
But how much time do you devote to achieving those objectives?
If you’re like most parents, you probably spend the majority of your time just getting by. In their book The Whole-Brain Child, writers Siegel and Bryson emphasize that that:
instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To avoid allowing survival mode to take over your life, take a step back the next time you’re furious or upset. Consider the consequences of your or your child’s rage and irritation. Instead, look for ways to convert every unpleasant event into a teaching moment for him. Even the most spectacular outbursts can be transformed into priceless brain-sculpting opportunities.
These will not only help you maintain a healthy perspective, but they will also help you achieve one of your key parenting goals: developing a positive relationship with your child.
Use Parenting Resources
I don’t mean shortchanging your child when I say shortcuts. What I mean is that we should take use of what scientists already know.
Parenting is one of psychology’s most studied topics. Many parenting approaches, practises, or traditions have been studied, validated, developed, or rejected scientifically.
Using scientific information isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, of course. Every child is unique. Even within the greatest parenting style, you may pick from a variety of beneficial parenting methods based on your child’s temperament.
There are numerous better alternatives to spanking, such as redirection, reasoning, withdrawing privileges, time-in, and so on. You can pick the non-punitive disciplinary approach that best suits your child’s needs.
Of course, you may opt to utilise “conventional” or “old school” parenting techniques (e.g. spanking) and still achieve the “same” result.
People who are vulnerable to developing a psychiatric condition are more likely to develop one when they are stressed, according to the Diathesis-Stress Model. The vulnerability, or diathesis, might be biological or environmental.
Perhaps the youngster is fortunate and lacks such weaknesses. They may be tenacious and triumph regardless of how harshly their parents treat their child.
However, it’s possible that they aren’t. As a result, the value of parenting cannot be overstated. Why take a chance on the potential harm that some of the subpar practises may cause when there are well-researched, superior alternatives?
Taking these “shortcuts” may involve more effort in the short term, but they will save you a lot of time and pain in the long run.
You Are Already A Good Parent
The good news is that, while parenthood is challenging, it is also extremely gratifying. The bad news is that the benefits generally follow the hard effort. But if we give it our all now, we will reap the benefits afterwards and have nothing to regret.
More Parenting Tips
- Really Good Christian Parenting Books
- Ten Brilliant Positive Parenting Tips
- Best Parenting Blogs You Must Read In 2021
- The Ultimate Guide to Parenting Buzzwords (Like Helicopter Parent)
- How To Communicate With Your Child And Avoid Power Struggles
- 10 Quick Tips For Better Behaviour
- 14 Positive Parenting Books You Need To Read
- Powerful Cure For Whining And Crying – (Why Do Kids Whine)
- Children Who Listen Have Parents Who Do These Things
- How To Be A Calm Mom, Even If You Feel Angry
- Struggle Free Homework Tips For Parents
What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe To My Parenting NewsletterSign Up For My Parenting Newsletter for tips on creating a happier home and becoming a more positive parent. As a bonus when you subscribe you’ll get a copy of my FREE Growth Mindset Printout For Kids which is the KEY to raising resilient kids with a growth mindset.
2. Register For A Pretty Awesome FREE 60-Minute Class:Register for a free class called GET KIDS TO LISTEN THE RIGHT WAY; an exclusive FREE class from nationally recognized parenting coach, Amy McCready.
3. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting CourseEnroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)
- 2.Landry S, Smith K, Swank P, Assel M, Vellet S. Does early responsive parenting have a special importance for children’s development or is consistency across early childhood necessary? Dev Psychol. 2001;37(3):387-403. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11370914.
- 3.Viero C, Shibuya I, Kitamura N, et al. REVIEW: Oxytocin: Crossing the Bridge between Basic Science and Pharmacotherapy. CNS Neuroscience & Therapeutics. July 2010:e138-e156. doi:10.1111/j.1755-5949.2010.00185.x
- 4.Bradley B, Davis TA, Wingo AP, Mercer KB, Ressler KJ. Family environment and adult resilience: contributions of positive parenting and the oxytocin receptor gene. European Journal of Psychotraumatology. September 2013:21659. doi:10.3402/ejpt.v4i0.21659
- 5.Landry SH, Smith KE, Swank PR, Guttentag C. A responsive parenting intervention: The optimal timing across early childhood for impacting maternal behaviors and child outcomes. Developmental Psychology. 2008:1335-1353. doi:10.1037/a0013030
- 6.Fishbane MD. Wired to connect: Neuroscience, relationships, and therapy. Family process. 2007;46(3):395-412.
- 7.Siegel DJ. Mindful awareness, mindsight, and neural integration. The Humanistic Psychologist. 2009:137-158. doi:10.1080/08873260902892220
- 8.Maternal depression and child development. Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):575-598. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19680490.
- 9.Gershoff ET. Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin. 2002:539-579. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.128.4.539
- 10.Gershoff E, Grogan-Kaylor A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. J Fam Psychol. 2016;30(4):453-469. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27055181.
- 11.Effective discipline for children. Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(1):37-50. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19654979.