Whether you’re a first-time mom or not, you’ve probably heard of Attachment Parenting or Gentle Parenting. Someone may have mentioned one in a baby group you were in, someone may have mentioned it on a blog, or someone may have made a snide remark about such parents. In any case, you want to know what all the fuss is about!
Two popular parenting “styles” are attachment parenting and gentle parenting. They have a lot of similarities, so you might be wondering what sets them apart. During the baby years, Attachment Parenting is frequently stated, whereas Gentle Parenting is referenced more frequently during the childhood years.
Both parenting techniques consider the viewpoint of the child.
Although there are some similarities between Attachment Parenting and Gentle Parenting, there are also differences. To explain the difference, I’ll start with Attachment Parenting and then go on to Gentle Parenting. Then we’ll talk about where the true differences are and which option could be best for YOU.
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What Is Attachment Parenting
Attachment Parenting places a strong emphasis on attachment.
That the mother and child would form a close link in the first few years of life by using techniques like as co-sleeping and babywearing, and that’s what we’d call Attachment Parenting.
Attachment Parenting fosters parent-child connection through immediate bonding at birth (think skin-to-skin during the first hour of life before any additional medical procedures), breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping (or some form of close sleeping), avoiding “teaching” the baby, and so on.
Some people prefer to describe and organise their Attachment Parenting practise using these “Seven B’s”:
- Bonding at the time of birth (parents physically connecting with baby immediately following birth such as skin to skin)
- Bedding (sleeping) in close proximity to the baby
- Belief in the baby’s cry as a language
- Be wary of “baby trainers” (experts of any kind who advise precise feeding, sleeping, or other schedules or routines without having adequate personal understanding of your baby or family).
- Balance (between the requirements of the adult and the needs of the child)
As you can see, a lot of this has to do with the age of the infant or toddler.
Attachment parenting, in my opinion, is fantastic! As long as parents recognize that not all mothers are capable of adhering to Attachment Parenting to the letter, even if they wish to. Some mothers, for example, must return to work, which may make it impossible for them to apply all parts of Attachment Parenting, and they should not be judged as a result. Some Attachment Parents may have varying ideas of what constitutes “official” Attachment Parenting; for example, some may believe that bed sharing is required, while others may claim that the most important component is a parent’s response to a kid when they need you at night.
What Is Gentle Parenting (or Positive Parenting)
The major focus of Gentle Parenting could be punishment, but it’s probably more appropriate to state that the main focus of Gentle Parenting is kindness and respect.
Gentle parents’ disciplining tactics take into account and respect the child’s feelings. Gentle Parenting does not support spanking, time outs, rewards, or other punishments since they are unpleasant, disrespectful, or will not assist the child in the long term.
Unlike traditional parenting, Gentle Parenting focuses on the kid’s entire future, rather than just aiming to make them a more “tolerable” child who does not scream, whine, or disobey. Parenting with gentleness is a difficult task.
Mild Parenting shares many of the same ideals as Attachment Parenting, especially because many of its practises are gentle, but it extends long beyond the newborn and toddler years.
Gentle Parenting, I believe, is a parenting style that even parents of adult children may employ since a child is never too old for love and respect.
Although gentle parenting does not have a set of rules to follow, there are some disciplining tactics that many gentle parents regard to be “best practise,” and we tend to see children in the same way.
These are the major pillars of Gentle Parenting.
- Be respectful of others.
- Emotional validation
- Use Positive Phrases
- A Relationship of Trust
- Consequences of Nature
- Skills that are Age-Appropriate
Difference Between Attachment Parenting and Gentle Parenting
Attachment parenting and gentle parenting are quite similar, as you can see. Attachment Parenting, on the other hand, is highly unique to a certain age in your child’s life, and may include some activities that some parents would expect.
Gentle Parenting, on the other hand, is a broader concept that allows the parent to define exactly what it means to them.
Which is Better
I can’t advise you on which parenting style to use, but I don’t believe it’s about picking a parenting style; it’s about discovering who you are as a parent, and if there’s a label for it, COOL.
What do you hope to accomplish as a mother? What are your personal guiding principles? What kind of parent do you want to be to your children?
These questions can assist you in determining the type of parent you are. Maybe after reading this, you’re thinking to yourself, “Yes, I’m certainly doing Attachment Parenting!” alternatively, “Yes, I am absolutely practising Gentle Parenting!”
Parenting, on the other hand, may be a difficult task, especially if you have individuals offering you unwanted advice! Even if you’re attempting to trust your instincts, it can be difficult to tune out the noise when people say things like:
“If you do __, you’ll be spoiling your baby.”
“You’re making him overly reliant on you.”
“If you continuously console your infant, he will never learn to sleep!”
That’s one of the reasons I believe it’s critical to identify your “people” early on in your parenting journey, so that when you do need assistance, you can get it from people who share your parenting ideals, whether they’re Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting, or something else.
What You Should Do Next:
1. Register For A Must Listen To FREE 60-Minute Class:
2. Enjoy These Gentle Parenting Podcasts
- Unruffled by Janet Lansbury
- Raising Good Humans With Dr. Aliza
- Parenting Beyond Discipline
- Mindful Parenting in a Messy World
3. Dive Into These Gentle Parenting Websites
- Janet Lansbury “Respectful Parenting Basics”
- Sara Rockwell-Smith “Gentle Parenting Book”
- No Reward, No Punishment
- How is Gentle different than mainstream?
- Gentle Parenting Myth
- 5 secrets to Gentle Parenting
4. Enjoy These Gentle Parenting Books
- How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- How To Talk So Kids Will ListenPeaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
- The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way
- The New Dare To Discipline
- Silence Is A Scary Sound
- Parenting With Love And Logic
- More books here.
5. Sign Up For A 7 Step Positive Parenting Course (If You’re Ready To Be A Positive Parent And Need Some Step By Step Help)
Enroll now in the most in-depth parenting class. After discovering these common sense, easy-to-implement, research-based tools you can learn how to:
- Easily get kids to listen – the FIRST time. No yelling or reminding…not even once!
- Put an end to daily power struggles. Bedtime became a breeze, and all the dawdling, chore wars, sibling rivalry, and mealtime meltdowns disappeared.
- Reduce backtalk by HALF! It’s simple once you know the secrets of these two ‘buckets.’
- Say goodbye to punishments that DON’T work. There’s a 5-step formula that works WAYYY better than time-outs.
- Feel amazing, confident, and empowered as a parent, every day. I NEVER go to bed feeling guilty anymore! (Okay, well maybe sometimes…’ mom guilt’ is still a thing.)
Got a toddler with an attitude? You want this class. Got an actual tween or teen? Then what are you waiting for?
6. Read Some Of My Favorite Blog Posts From Other Gentle Parenting Professionals
- How to get others on board with GP (grandparents, family, providers)
- MANAGING TODDLER TANTRUMS
- PREVENTING A GROWN UP MELTDOWN
- Why do we call it a TANTRUM? IT’S A FEELING
- TIME-IN (NOT TIME OUT)
- What to do: biting, hitting, pushing, throwing
- Punishment Vs. Natural Consequence
- REWARDS: WHY THEY DON’T WORK.
- ITS OKAY NOT TO SHARE
- HOW TO STOP YELLING AT KIDS
- GP for Newborns & young babies
- Parenting Differences among peers/providers
- Does your spouse parent differently?
- Prefrontal Cortex – YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN IS NOT DEVELOPED ENOUGH
“GENTLE PARENTING IS A LIFESTYLE THAT EMBRACES BOTH YOUR PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR, NOT ONLY TOWARDS YOUR CHILDREN, BUT TO YOURSELF TOO“— SARA HOCKWELL-SMITH