How To Parent Strong Willed Toddlers – From Experience!

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Parenting a strong-willed toddler presents unique challenges. I vividly recall a recent shopping trip with my daughter, Sarah, at Walmart. Everything was fine until we reached the toy section and saw colorful bubbles.

Sarah’s excitement was palpable as she cried for the bubbles. I tried to explain that we had enough toys and needed Easter goodies, but she continued to cry, attracting attention.

In that moment, I felt the familiar mix of embarrassment and frustration. But I knew getting upset wouldn’t help. So, I responded with humor, saying, ‘We’re here for Easter goodies, not bubbles!’

To my surprise, Sarah stopped crying, and I redirected her to Easter decorations. Parenting a strong-willed toddler is challenging, but by staying calm, setting boundaries, and using humor, we can navigate it with grace

The Challenges Of Disciplining Strong-Willed Kids

Strong-willed children inherently resist change, making the process of discipline fraught with complexities. While discipline is essential, it’s crucial to recognize that there are other equally vital aspects of parenting.

Many parents typically resort to punitive measures such as time-outs, revoking privileges, confiscating toys, or taking away electronic devices when addressing misbehavior. However, these strategies often prove ineffective when dealing with strong-willed children. They don’t seek punishment; instead, they yearn for acknowledgment, even in the face of their failures.

These children crave understanding and desire to comprehend the rationale behind any disciplinary action. They don’t want to receive punishment without a clear understanding of their wrongdoing; they seek a connection between their actions and consequences. Merely punishing them without context can lead to resentment and hinder the effectiveness of discipline.

As sinners, we are all born with a will that is selfish, desiring to get
and go our own way. While its intensity varies, a child makes his will
known in the earliest days of life. Willfulness seems built into the
nature of some kids. It must be molded and brought under the influence of parental leadership.

THE STRONG-WILLED CHILD BIBLE STUDY – DR. JAMES DOBSON

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Main Reasons Why Disciplining Strong-Willed Kids Is Hard

These little ones are a force to be reckoned with! They have a fire in their belly and aren’t afraid to speak their minds. I mean, who wouldn’t love that kind of spunk and personality?

These pint-sized humans know exactly what they want in life and have some pretty big dreams and goals. And let me tell you, they’re not about to let anyone get in the way of achieving them.

Now, if you think you can just impose your values on a strong-willed child and make them follow your way of thinking, think again my friend.

These kiddos are determined to make their own decisions and march to the beat of their own drum.

So don’t even try to tell them what to do, because they’ll just brush you off like a pesky fly.

At the end of the day, we should all admire these little rebels for their fierce independence and determination to chart their own course in life.

There was a really interesting study called “Magic trick” that really intrigued me about strong willed kids.

This study aimed to compare the effectiveness of using a magic trick versus conventional methods like tell-show-do (TSD) in persuading strong-willed children to sit in the dental chair during their first visit. Seventy children aged 3–6 with strong-willed behavior were randomly assigned to either the Magic+ (magic trick) or Magic– (TSD) group. Results showed that the Magic+ group sat in the chair faster and exhibited better cooperation, allowing for easier radiographs. In conclusion, using a magic trick effectively expedited chair placement and improved cooperation during dental visits for strong-willed children. [Read Study Here]

3 positive parenting techniques To Discipline Strong-Willed Children

As we’ve already discussed, to discipline a strong-willed child effectively, you have to employ different strategies than if you were a more easy going kiddo.

I like to use the positive parenting form of discipline to tend to a child’s needs and it has always worked to get good behavior from my on children even though its hard work compared to physical punishment.

Here are a few tips to help you along the way:

Listen to your child

Strong-willed kids are often very opinionated, so chances are they will want to talk a lot, especially if they’re upset about having been punished.

Pay close attention to what they are saying, and try to see their point of view so you can understand where children’s behavior is coming from.

You may not agree with everything your headstrong children say or find their point of view flawed, but by listening to them, you are showing them that you care about what they have to say.

This can help to strengthen your relationship with your child and lead their negative behavior into a positive direction which can be an easy positive change at home.

Set clear rules

Strong-willed kids need to know what is expected of them with clear expectations.

They need to know what the rules of the house are, and they need to be held accountable for breaking those rules, and natural consequences are a great tool for this.

You can’t just let them get away with everything just because they are strong-willed. You need to set clear rules and boundaries, and you need to stick to them which is the biggest challenge.

Don’t argue

When disciplining a strong-willed child who is having a difficult time, you must avoid arguing at all costs. Strong-willed kids are persistent and have big egos, so they will argue and push back even if they know they’re wrong, which is a common trait in great leaders.

Logical consequences are effective discipline techniques and can play an important role here. Time outs can trigger a worse response from younger children which can hinder the positive relationship you want to have with your child.

You must remain calm and composed, no matter how much your child argues back or how much they try to provoke you.

Signs That You Have A Strong Willed Child

1. Hard Time Yielding: A strong-willed child often has a hard time yielding or giving in, especially when they believe strongly in their viewpoint.
2. Temper Tantrums: Tantrums are not uncommon, especially in their early years. This spirited child may express their intense feelings through temper tantrums.
3. Opinions from a Young Age: Even as toddlers, strong-willed kids tend to have strong opinions about what they want and don’t want.
4. Strives for Autonomy: They seek to make their own choices, sometimes even insisting on picking their own clothes from a very young age.
5. Experiential Learners: They learn best through experience and doing things their way. This often means they may not always follow the ‘right way’ in the eyes of adults.
6. Battle of Wills: Expect some battles of wills, especially in their early years. This is a natural part of their strong-willed temperament.
7. Passionate Feelings: They often have intense and passionate feelings about things that matter to them.
8. Strong Sense of Fairness: They have a strong sense of what they believe is fair and just, and they’ll often stand their ground on issues related to fairness.
9. Seeking Valid Reasons: They are likely to question rules and decisions, and they expect a valid reason for everything.
10. High Energy Levels: They tend to have high energy levels, which can be a wonderful trait when channeled in the right direction.
11. Free Will is Paramount: They value their free will and don’t like feeling controlled or restricted.
12. Open to New Information: Despite their strong opinions, they can be open to new information and ideas, provided it’s presented in a respectful and logical manner.

Why Are Children Strong Willed

You might have heard them being called ‘controlled’ or ‘challenging’ tantrums. And let’s be real, sometimes they can be a bit of a handful for us parents trying to shape their behavior.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a little bit of defiance and rebellion is a normal phase of childhood.

But if your kiddo is being argumentative and difficult all the time, you might want to pay attention. And if they’re also acting aggressively or being disruptive, that could be a sign of a bigger problem.

So, why are these kiddos so strong-willed, you might ask? Well, it could come down to a variety of factors, like the way they were brought up or even their temperament.

Strong-willed children often have an abundance of energy and a need for constant stimulation. These little go-getters have higher activity levels and crave new experiences and adventure.

And let’s not forget, just because a kiddo is strong-willed doesn’t mean they can’t be an introverted or extroverted individual.

At the end of the day, we should celebrate these little firecrackers for their unique personalities and all the energy they bring to our lives!

Should Parents Be Concerned About Strong Willed children

These little humans might have an easy time expressing their needs and desires, but let’s be real, that doesn’t always mean they’re in the right.

And as a parent of a strong-willed child, it can sometimes feel like you’re walking on eggshells or tiptoeing on a tightrope.

Communication and cooperation are key, but if both parties are struggling to work together, things can quickly become difficult for the entire family.

Now, if your kiddo’s strong-willed nature is causing you some major headaches, it might be time to find ways to calm them down and help them become more cooperative.

Because let’s be honest, no one wants to live in a constant state of chaos and frustration.

At the end of the day, we love our little rebels, but sometimes we need to find ways to work together and create a little bit of peace and harmony in our homes.

Benefits Of A Strong Willed Child

These little humans might have an easy time expressing their needs and desires, but let’s be real, that doesn’t always mean they’re in the right.

And as a parent of a strong-willed child, it can sometimes feel like you’re walking on eggshells or tiptoeing on a tightrope.

Communication and cooperation are key, but if both parties are struggling to work together, things can quickly become difficult for the entire family.

Now, if your kiddo’s strong-willed nature is causing you some major headaches, it might be time to find ways to calm them down and help them become more cooperative.

Because let’s be honest, no one wants to live in a constant state of chaos and frustration.

At the end of the day, we love our little rebels, but sometimes we need to find ways to work together and create a little bit of peace and harmony in our homes.

Extra Tips For Parents Who Need Even More Support

Parenting a strong-willed child is a journey with evolving challenges and rewards. Adapt your parenting as they grow.

Encourage decision-making while valuing diverse perspectives. Embrace both the positives and challenges of their nature.

Use everyday situations to foster independence. Consult a child psychologist for insights and explore peaceful parenting techniques.

Empower them in decision-making, emphasizing respect for boundaries and values. Dedicate quality time to strengthen your bond.

Parenting strong-willed kids is demanding but leads to confident, responsible individuals.

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