Sometimes as moms we get caught up in the chaos of homemaking and parenthood that we become overwhelmed and sometimes even unhappy.
Have you ever felt this way?
I know I have, and I try my hardest to be there for my children every day in any capacity that they need me in. Sometimes I get so busy with all of the requirements of mom life that I forget that at the end of the day, the most important thing I can provide for my kids is my love affection and happiness.
So how do we go from overwhelmed homemaker and tired supermom to a better, happier mom?
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The Secret To Being A Happy Mom
I’m not a parenting expert, and I’m certainly not a motivational speaker or anyone famous, but I have been doing this mom thing for a few years and it hasn’t all been rainbows and butterflies. I’ve gone through my fair share of depression, feelings of inadequacy and just plain bitterness about being a horrible mother after I yell at my kids.
It took me a few good years to figure out this one little secret.
A Good Mom Is Simply A Happy Mom
Yep! That’s it, all that my kids ever expect from me is happiness, love and support in all of their adventures in life. I mean think about it, if something was to happen to me, tragically or otherwise, I would want my kids to remember me being happy and supportive.
Honestly, they will not remember if the house was always clean or if the laundry was ALWAYS folded.
How do I know they won’t remember that?
Because when I was 5.5 I lost my own Mother to suicide. Depression.
What do I remember about my own mother? Certainly isn’t the state of our home, I barely remember our home at all.
Certainly not any folded laundry…I mean, what was I even wearing back then and is that even important?
I DO remember her cuddling me to sleep and the warmth of her body when I was falling asleep.
I DO remember her signing me beautiful songs all the time, no matter the time of day.
I DO remember going sledding together and seeing her huge smile as I fell over in the snow going down a large hill.
I am fully invested in the statement that A Good Mom Is A Happy Mom and that nothing else matters.
Related: Tips For Raising Happy Kids
10 Ways To Be A Better Happier Mom
Let Go Of Perfection
You may think that you need to have the perfect home, the best lunches and Pinterest worthy dinner. Stop thinking that. You do not need to be perfect. Kids are fed? Good enough. Kids are bathed? Good enough. Kids are loved? Perfect.
Take Care Of Yourself
When you’re super busy taking care of the family, it is so easy to forget about yourself. But you need care too. You also need to be washed and fed! Take care of yourself.
Related: 4 Step Mom Morning Routine
Remember That Less Is More
Not just in terms of toilet paper, but in terms of life as well. Do the children need to go to the Zoo once a week, or can they have an equally fun day in the backyard? Do the kids need a roast for dinner, or will boiled dumplings from the freezer fill them up just fine? Do the kids need a huge pile of Christmas presents, or will they need a few really special, thoughtful ones?
Kids focus on the special moments, and everything else gets forgotten, so less IS in fact, more when it comes to family.
Related: Mom priorities – Because Some Things Can Wait
Spend Alone Time With Each Child
If you have more than one child, you can sometimes feel like you are paying more attention to one than another. To combat that mom guilt, make a point of having a one on one date with each child once in a while to make everyone, including yourself, feel a connection.
Allow Your Kids To Fail
Children need to learn about failure and success in their own ways, as mothers, we feel like we need to fix all the issues for our children. In my non-professional opinion, this is not the way to teach children independence and how to deal with failure. Don’t we want to motivate the kids to be their best and combat problems and roadblocks? I certainly do, and it is very difficult to see our children fail.
Communicate With Your Family
Sometimes talking to children can feel like pulling teeth. They don’t want to talk about their day, and you can’t get any information about their new friends at school and you just feel like a complete failure because they won’t talk to you.
Well maybe not, but I feel this way sometimes.
I often find that when I am actively involved in their interests that I can get a lot more communication out of them. Even something as simple as showing interest in their new video game or listening to some music together (yes, even if you hate it)
Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Parents
This is a really big one. The thing is, we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors in other families. You really never know what’s going on in their lives and all the stuff that is posted on social media could be a huge front for fake happiness.
The only thing you should be focused on is YOU and YOUR family and if everyone is fed and washed and happy, then you’re doing a great job.
Related: 10 signs You’re Mastering Motherhood
Ensure The Discipline Matches The Crime
There are so many books on the correct way to discipline children, and in our home, we use positive parenting techniques so our discipline strategies vary from most households. The important thing is to not overreact when discipline is needed and blurt out the most outrageous punishment you can think of.
Take a moment and discuss with your partner the best course of action for the behaviour that occurred. You won’t feel horrible for blurting out an outrageous punishment and your children will understand (hopefully) that you made a well thought out decision.
You don’t have to have a perfectly organized home to be happy. It IS a good idea to have an organized enough home so that you can find things that you need as easily as possible. I don’t know about you, but when my home is not organized enough and I can’t find something I get frustrated and my attitude towards my family is not my usual happy self.
Simple things like having a plan, even if it’s just in your head, can simplify crazy mornings, chaotic after school activity schedules and even dinners.
You do not have to go all crazy having every minute of every day all planned out. You can get into a routine pretty quickly to simplify your morning. You can even grab a life planner and use it to roughly plan out all areas of your life so you can stop forgetting important things. I certainly get frustrated when I forget little things like RSVP to a birthday party or pick up a gift before coming home from school drop off. Planning makes a happier mom.
Happy Mom, Happy Kids
I hope that this article was helpful to you. The most important thing that I hope you take away from this is that your child just wants a happy mom, not a super laundry folding machine or a perfect housekeeper.
So go give lots of huge, smile and love to those kids of yours, that’s all they really want from their beautiful, wonderful mommy.