Tips For Parenting An Angry Child
Tips for parents who deal with an angry child and need some tips to create a happy family dynamic. Parenting an angry child is not an easy task but things can turn around with a little work.
One of the most difficult behaviour to navigate as parents is anger. When a child gets angry, their self-regulation skills go out of the window and they see nothing but red.
These big emotions are hard for little people. Heck, they can be hard for big people too. When a child is feeling these big emotions that they just don’t know what to do with, we might be thinking that we just aren’t doing a good job as parents. Keep in mind that your child’s behaviour doesn’t always have to do with how you parent. Sometimes they get overcome with feelings about things that happen at schools such as peer pressure or a failing grade.
So if your child is shutting you out, or is lashing out due to extreme anger, please read some of the tips below and hopefully create a peaceful family environment.
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Parenting An Angry Child: Dealing With Big Emotions
Does your child get really angry where he screams for hours, bangs his head on the floor and wails uncontrollably? Is it difficult to go grocery shopping when your child is triggered into anger easily by his surroundings?
If you have tried the elimination diets and ruled out sensory issues, then you might have to try some more methods.
Ways To Help Your Child Cope With Anger
Children naturally do not understand feelings, and they have to be taught how to feel and how to verbalize how they feel. A child who cannot express that he is angry by saying “I am mad” is more likely to lash out with uncontrollable behaviour than a child who can explain how he feels.
You can help your child learn about feelings by teaching them the basic feelings such as sad, mad, happy, scared. You can also help your child label his feelings by saying something like “It looks like you are really happy right now.” or “You look like you might be feeling mad about this situation.” As time goes on, they will learn to add their own label to their emotions.
You can also help your child identify their feelings through a journal. Here are some good options for you to try.
Teach Calm Down Skills
When your child is feeling angry, or even just starting to get the angry feelings, they should have a calm down plan in place.
You can try a calm down corner for smaller children where they can colour, read, or do another calm activity while they calm down. If your child is older, they may want to calm down in their room. Encourage reading if you can. For older children, writing in a journal can be helpful as well.
When your child get’s upset, just advise them to go get their calm down kit, go sit in their calm down corner, or simply ask them to spend some time on their own so they can cool down.
Teach Anger Management
Remember anger management, the movie? That is what I think of when someone says anger management to me.
Taking deep breaths can help a child calm their mind and body when they are stressed out and upset.
You can also suggest a walk, or a run in the fresh air to cool off.
If your child can count, then counting to 10 can be helpful as well.
Follow Through With Consequences
Consequences are very important. In fact, I have a very important and helpful article on how to implement consequences for a child who doesn’t care about consequences. When your child breaks a rule, put consequences into place.
Some rules can have natural consequences, while others might have consequences that need to be set.
Negative punishment isn’t my favourite thing and goes against the positive parenting principles that I advocate, so if your child breaks something in the home it would be better to implement extra chores to raise money to replace that item. Here is a helpful weekly chore chart template if you need one.
Avoid Exposure To Violence
Try to avoid things in your home that your child can be exposed to that has violence in it such as angry video games and adult rated TV shows and movies.
You should also not use violent behaviour inside the home as children often model the behaviour they see.
Don’t Give In To Tantrums
Giving into temper tantrums teaches your child that when they throw a fit, they can get what they want. Avoid making temper tantrum mistakes, even though it may seem easier in the short term, it’s not easier in the long term.
Parenting An Angry Child: You’ve Got This
It’s frustrating to be a child. Young children are always learning how their body works, how things respond to their actions. Everything in their surroundings is a learning opportunity, and it can be very frustrating when things just don’t work out like they thought they would.
Teenagers go through a lot of changes and their emotions are just as large as a toddlers, but they are bigger people and their anger seems much worse.
You’re going to need a little bit of patience, and a lot of love but I promise you, you will get through this phase of your life.
Use some of the strategies that I listed above, and be sure to use a lot of love and care within your disciplinary actions. Authoritative parenting is the best parenting style, at least in my opinion. Kill that angry attitude with kindness.
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