5 Powerful Tips To Calm An Autistic Meltdown

I remember the first time I experienced a full-blown meltdown with my son.

We were in the middle of the grocery store—he was perfectly fine one moment, and the next, he was on the floor screaming, overwhelmed by the lights, sounds, and movement around him.

My heart sank as I saw the judgmental looks from other shoppers, but I knew in that moment, it wasn’t just a tantrum. This was different. I needed to help him, not just hush him.

Autistic meltdowns can be extremely challenging for both children and parents, but they are not impossible to manage.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few techniques that help calm my son during these intense moments, and I’m sharing them in the hope they can help you too. It all starts with understanding, patience, and having the right tools at hand.

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5 Tips To Combat The Meltdown

1. Stay Calm Yourself

The first and perhaps most important step is to remain calm yourself. Our kids are very sensitive to our emotions. If they sense you’re panicking or getting upset, it can escalate their meltdown. Try breathing techniques or stress-relief items that can help you stay composed in the moment.

For example, I always carry a small calming essential oil rollerball with me. A quick swipe on my wrist helps ground me so I can be the calm presence my son needs. (Here’s a link to my favorite brand).

2. Use a Calm, Soothing Tone

While it might feel natural to raise your voice in a moment of chaos, speaking in a calm, soothing voice can make a world of difference. Reassure them with simple words and phrases like, “You’re safe,” or “I’m here.” Keeping your tone low and soft creates a sense of security.

You can also consider noise-cancelling headphones to block out overwhelming sounds, helping them feel less overwhelmed by their environment.

3. Create a Sensory-Safe Space

When you’re at home, designate a sensory-safe corner for your child. This space should be free of harsh lights, loud noises, and clutter. In this area, have a few comforting items like soft blankets, weighted blankets, or fidget toys they can interact with when they feel anxious. These tools can work wonders in soothing their sensory overload.

When we’re out, I make sure to carry a small sensory kit in my bag. It includes a mini weighted lap pad and a couple of squeeze toys. Having these on hand can help create an impromptu calming space no matter where we are.

4. Offer Choices, Not Commands

During a meltdown, your child may feel like they’ve lost control, which only adds to their frustration. Instead of giving direct commands like “Stop crying,” or “Calm down,” try offering them choices that can empower them. For instance, “Would you like to sit in your favorite chair or on the floor?” or “Do you want to use your fidget spinner or your weighted lap pad?”

These small choices give them back some control over their situation. Having a variety of sensory tools on hand can make these options more effective.

5. Recognize and Avoid Triggers

Preventing a meltdown often starts by recognizing the triggers. Every child is different, but common triggers include loud noises, changes in routine, or overwhelming environments. It’s important to be mindful of these and try to avoid them whenever possible.

I wrote a detailed guide on Recognizing 5 Triggers That Can Cause an Autistic Meltdown—it’s a great starting point for understanding what might set off your child’s emotional overload.

Bottom Line

Meltdowns can be tough, but remember that your child isn’t choosing to have one—they’re overwhelmed and need your support.

With the right tools and strategies, you can help your child navigate through these moments with love and understanding. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns and learn how to better prepare for and respond to these difficult situations.

Having a few key items like calming sensory toys or weighted blankets in your arsenal can make all the difference in managing an autistic meltdown. Be patient with yourself too, mama—you’re doing an amazing job.

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