You’ve finished the books. You bought a t-shirt that said, “I’m a big brother.” While you’re nursing, you have a basket full of entertaining activities for him to do.
However, after a few weeks, you’re perplexed.
Wasn’t it in the books that this would be a difficult transition? Your elder child appears to be completely ignorant to the fact that there is now another child in the family, and life for him hasn’t changed much.
You’ve got a good feeling about the whole sibling situation.
Then your baby reaches the age of eight months. Crawling, scooting, and dragging myself up to the coffee table where the older children keep their crafts and snack cups…
Everything changes all of a sudden.
Your elder child, who was formerly ignorant to their younger sibling’s skills, is now well aware of them, and he doesn’t like it.
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Helping The Older Siblings Adjust To A Baby On The Move
For an older sibling, a newborn on a blanket clutching a rattle is a relatively non-threatening setting. They can play in the vicinity without being interrupted or having their things taken away.
When your kid gets mobile, he or she faces a new set of social and problem-solving problems that your child may not be prepared to face. Your toddler for example might be thinking the baby is wanting to keep getting into trouble.
To help your children prepare for this period, follow these suggestions:
Discuss what’s to come: Use the first few months to begin a discussion about how newborns learn and grow. Expect your child to be a novice when it comes to developmental phases. Give them knowledge ahead of time so they aren’t startled when they learn that sitting leads to an army crawl, which leads to standing, and then walking. Also, talk to your child about the failure that your baby will experience when falling and bumping head into the furniture so your older sibling can look after the baby a little bit too! Gives them a sense of responsibility and purpose.
Discuss what is usual for babies: Continue the discussion by explaining how to communicate with their siblings, how to connect with them, and what a baby can and cannot understand. Make a point of emphasizing how your older child can assist their younger sister in learning language and social skills.
Plan ahead: Make a safe location for your older child to put valuable toys, art projects, and anything else he wishes to keep out of the reach of the newborn by planning ahead. Discuss where the ideal location to build block towers is, as well as where he can go if the baby is invading his space or he wants some alone time.
Demonstrate how to deal with conflict: During those months of change, your presence is critical. Rather than expecting they’ll “figure it out,” get down on the floor with them and go over their options: giving a comparable toy, offering a BETTER item, sharing toys, going to a safe location, asking a parent for help, and so on.
Allow both children to speak: It’s easy to favour one child over the other – “come on, she’s just a baby!” “You should know better.” Despite the fact that the infant is yet unable to speak, she is gaining knowledge. As a result, it’s critical to bring her worries or needs to her sibling’s notice. It’s also crucial to discuss the thoughts and wants of the elder sibling.
Understand: Having a sibling isn’t easy. Most children’s find it difficult to share toys, time, and attention. Put yourself in your children’s position and let them know that you understand why having a younger sister around isn’t always enjoyable. If they have strong sentiments towards their sibling, be prepared to listen to them without passing judgement.
Encourage collaboration by allowing each kid to assist and support the other. This will help to build a strong sibling relationship. To build a firm foundation, have them pick up toys together, console one other when they are unhappy, grab a band-aid when the other is hurt, or develop a “bedtime” routine.
Keep in mind that depending on your older children’s age, these talks and interactions will appear different. The simple language will be required for very young siblings, while older children could be able to comprehend and solve problems on a more complicated level.
It’s A Stage
Take a deep breath, though. This is a step-by-step procedure.
“When will you two learn to get along?” you might wonder.
Your elder kid will then get down with his little brother the next day and construct an intricate block fortress together.
And you’ll be happy.
There is reason to be optimistic.
What You Should Do Next:
1. Register For A Must Listen To FREE 60-Minute Class:
2. Enjoy These Gentle Parenting Podcasts
- Unruffled by Janet Lansbury
- Raising Good Humans With Dr. Aliza
- Parenting Beyond Discipline
- Mindful Parenting in a Messy World
3. Dive Into These Gentle Parenting Websites
- Janet Lansbury “Respectful Parenting Basics”
- Sara Rockwell-Smith “Gentle Parenting Book”
- No Reward, No Punishment
- How is Gentle different than mainstream?
- Gentle Parenting Myth
- 5 secrets to Gentle Parenting
4. Enjoy These Gentle Parenting Books
- How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- How To Talk So Kids Will ListenPeaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
- The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way
- The New Dare To Discipline
- Silence Is A Scary Sound
- Parenting With Love And Logic
- More books here.
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6. Read Some Of My Favorite Blog Posts From Other Gentle Parenting Professionals
- How to get others on board with GP (grandparents, family, providers)
- MANAGING TODDLER TANTRUMS
- PREVENTING A GROWN UP MELTDOWN
- Why do we call it a TANTRUM? IT’S A FEELING
- TIME-IN (NOT TIME OUT)
- What to do: biting, hitting, pushing, throwing
- Punishment Vs. Natural Consequence
- REWARDS: WHY THEY DON’T WORK.
- ITS OKAY NOT TO SHARE
- HOW TO STOP YELLING AT KIDS
- GP for Newborns & young babies
- Parenting Differences among peers/providers
- Does your spouse parent differently?
- Prefrontal Cortex – YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN IS NOT DEVELOPED ENOUGH
“GENTLE PARENTING IS A LIFESTYLE THAT EMBRACES BOTH YOUR PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR, NOT ONLY TOWARDS YOUR CHILDREN, BUT TO YOURSELF TOO“— SARA HOCKWELL-SMITH